Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

"Another Alonzo Mourning comeback? What's the over/under on how many kidneys 'Zo will go through in his lifetime? 8? 10? I mean honestly, how many sick kids out there need a kidney and this guy is going through them like Nelly goes through Cristal."

[Alex_de_Large]

Bill Simmons' mail bag is a riot.

Dammit. Scroll, then post...

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Gattigap
If I agree that mmmm is a sexist fuck, will you pursue this narrative a little more?

We all know that "in the right circumstances" means "if only you weren't a devoted husband and father who would never cheat on his beautiful wife," a sentiment that is conveyed never by words, but by glances, sighs, and ever-so-slight arches of the brow and shakes of the head.

[SlaveNoMore]

Shape Shifter
I see a corner office in your future.

More like her "office" - standing on the corner.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Bill Simmons' mail bag is a riot.

Dammit. Scroll, then post...

I like this:

Q: Help me settle a little bet here. Which celebrity would sell the most magazines if she chose to pose for Playboy? I know not much has been left to the imagination, but I say it's Britney Spears. My buddy says Jennifer Aniston. And how much longer will we have to wait for the Jennifer Love Hewitt pictorial? Talk about needing a career boost.
-- Nolan Robinson, Portland, OR


SG: Great question -- sparked a heated debate with me and some friends a few weeks ago. Here was the consensus:


Honorable mention...:
Britney -- Hard to believe she barely cracked the top-five, but we've just seen too many pictures of her smoking cigs with her white trash husband. They always look like they're about 10 minutes away from being busted on "Cops." And has there ever been a bigger freeloader than Kevin Federline? Should we just pencil him in now for the 2010 edition of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here"?


Jessica Simpson -- Baring it all in the controversial "I'm only trying to get back at my father!" spread. There's something decidely un-sexy about her though. Maybe it's the epilectic seizures during her singing.


Anna Kournikova -- Although she'd be much better off "accidentally" leaking a sex video. That could cause the entire internet to crash.


Lindsay Lohan -- A solid runner-up choice because we could solve the "Implants: Yes or no?" dilemma once and for all. I'd be combing through those pictures like Gil Grissom looking for carpet hairs on a dead hooker.


The winner ...
The Olsen Twins -- For the inevitability. For the morbid curiosity. For the sheer magnitude of the whole thing. I just feel like this would be the "Where were you when JFK died?" moment of magazine issues. Everyone would have to see. Sure, we'd be looking at two girls who weigh a combined 165 pounds, and the results would be invariably depressing and possibly scarring ... but yes, everyone would have to see. Everyone. So there you go.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
(psst. Ty. Look very carefully at the page you posted from Snopes).

Whatever it is, is lost on me. (Hi, TM.)

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
We all know that "in the right circumstances" means "if only weren't a devoted husband and father who would never cheat on his beautiful wife," a sentiment that is conveyed never by words, but by glances, sighs, and ever-so-slight arches of the brow and shakes of the head.

Wow. My persona's working better than I thought. Guess I won't have to bring the condom.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You're becoming strident. And you look great in that low cut sweater, short skirt, and stiletto-heeled black leather boots.

FUCK YOU. I WOULD NEVER WEAR SOMETHING SLUTTY TO WORK.

[mmm3587]

This is fun...I just got a Jamba and was hoping something like this would be here for me to respond to while I languish on this call...

"I don't want to think you are a misogynist. I think your posts come across as misogynistic. When you reduce a woman to her parts -- great tits and stomach, haggard face without caked on makeup -- you don't seem like a man who loves women. Haggard is a really nasty, loaded thing to say about a woman, and given how smart you think you are, you should know that."

This is a joke, right? Half the discussion around here is around which body parts look good on which people. The woman in question is attractive; haggard is obviously an exaggeration. If it wasn't, so what? She posed half naked in a lad mag, and she wore revealing clothing in the last episode. Some objective discussion of here physical attributes is appropriate. This started by me appreciating how she looked. She does, like almost everyone, look much better on tv with a bunch of makeup on. Given all the blatant discussion here about how people look, you're calling _me_ out for discussing it. That's just bullshit. So is all this "you don't love women" crap. Just because I don't temper my statements around here about a woman who will ever see this doesn't mean I don't.

"Further, when you say there's an "appropriate line" for women in the workplace, you imply that there are different appropriate lines for women and men. We both know that there aren't. The line is between aggressive and abusive. The difference is that women are often perceived as having crossed that line earlier than men are -- by both men and women. As a result, they have to be more careful about it because they won't get the same results men would get."

Of course the line is always between agressive and abusive. However, society has different judgments about which behaviours cross the line for men and women. It's just like the line between "dresses inappropriately" and "dresses appropriately." Men and women are treated differently. The kinds of behaviour (or dress, but I digress) that get men in trouble might not get women in trouble, and vice versa

"I don't think it's unfair to criticize a woman who wants to succeed in business for failing to recognize that point. Your point was that the woman on the Apprentice was so far over the line that there could be no reasonable argument that people were judging her more harshly because she is a woman. That's a valid point. But don't be such a fucking pussy about it -- just call her a bitch and don't try to go all Alan Alda on our asses."

The label doesn't matter. She snapped at people when they questioned her; she couldn't explain herself without a fight every time. Contrast that to Kelly's behaviour; he was passive agressive and kind of a robot, but the times when it counted, in the boardroom and the interviews, he came across as reserved and staying above the fray, except when he made strong, measured statements like "I think that I did the best job and my record shows it." Jen could have done the same thing; that was the approach Amy took last season and it worked well for her. Boardroom reputation is clearly a major factor, and Jen also looked bad repeatedly beating up on Sandy when it was obvious Jen was the choice. Her behaviour was over the line for men and women; the fact that her behaviour could have been over the line for women but not men reflects problems with our society, not pronblems with me.

"And the mere fact that you have lamented sexism on the Apprentice doesn't mean that you don't have sexist attitudes. It's about as convincing as "How about that Denzel Washington? Great actor.""

Everyone has attitudes that can be classified perjoratively. The fact that you try so hard to classify my statements as sexist says more about the way you view the world, not the way I view it. Anyway, I think Denzel's kind of overrated. But, hey, way to call me a racist! I don't think anyone got that one!


"Finally, don't use impact as a fucking verb."

When you're actually having a substantive discussion, grammar flames are so fucking lame. Was it you that pointed out I had a subject/verb error with "none"? Why don't you address what I'm actually saying instead of creating all these strawmen and impugning my proofreading?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Sounds like an offer to me. Acceptance notbob?

Yes. I hear that she wears short skirts and black leather stiletto-heeled boots to the office.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
What about the hot women who aren't intelligent or hardworking? Shouldn't they be able to succeed in business also?

Sexist fuck.

You're always getting my back, SS.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
FUCK YOU. I WOULD NEVER WEAR SOMETHING SLUTTY TO WORK.

Please go grab some lunch. Please.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Why don't you address what I'm actually saying instead of creating all these strawmen and impugning my proofreading?

I did address what you were saying. Jesus. And you have got to be kidding if you think I was calling you a racist. It was An Office reference.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
FUCK YOU. I WOULD NEVER WEAR SOMETHING SLUTTY TO WORK.

Oh, sorry. I look great in that low cut sweater, short skirt, and stiletto-heeled black leather boots.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I'm not offended. I just want to smack you. I don't think you're a bastard for writing "Homely, even." Bastard would imply that you were someone with some edge, rather than a mere dolt.

How old were you when that mean Skull called you homely and it got around the sorority house? Let it go. It's obvious the word riles you up. From now on, I'll stick to haggard and frumpy.