A frolic in Cambodia

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by dtb
Which reminds me...

The other day I was in spin class (hi plf!) and the guy next to me (he wasn't a fat, nttawwt), but he was freakin' SINGING along to the music. God, how I wanted to stab him in the face.

Which reminds me ! ! ! Last year I was in France (hi slave!) and I took a Mike's Bike tour of Paris and this idiot on a bike near me kept ringing the fucking bell, even when he didn't have to warn anyone he was coming. Ring, ring, ring! God, how I wanted to stab him in the face and then have everyone else in the group run him over with their bikes while ringing their bells.

You can ring my be-eh-ell, ring my bell (my bell, ring my bell) ....

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I have been there, and I can't say agree. But to each her own.

We don't have to agree on everything to have a good time in Cambodia.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I don't understand how it doesn't.

If I tell you you're beautiful every hour, it wouldn't hold the same significance as if I rarely told you and just looked at you one day, maybe when you weren't feeling so beautiful, and just said, "You are so beautiful." I might actually be telling the truth when I say it every hour, but you would get used to it -- you might even start to expect it -- and no matter what you say, I believe it wouldn't mean as much.

I'm not advocating holding back compliments to give them meaning. But I do think giving a compliment every time you think something that can be taken as complimentary is overkill.

TM

We disagree and that's ok because you have a nice ass. Really. It's totally hot.

And I forgive you for missing the noon-1 and 1-2 pm slots today with respect to my hourly compliment.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
and here I thought that he was talking about me. I took that "moderately attractive" and put it in the bank already.

I dated a guy for three months whose opening line was "you're fairly attractive."

Since I am actually sah-mokin' hot, I inferred sincerity from his understatement, and fucked his brains out that very night. So there ya go.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
This is a lie, and you know that we know that it is a lie, which makes it all the more disrespectful.

Nope. I'm entirely earnest on this one. Nothing's worse than trying to land a hot mean chick. Its a fucking pain in the ass.

I'm rescued from complete shallowness by laziness. Story of my life...

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by dtb
Which reminds me...

The other day I was in spin class (hi plf!) and the guy next to me (he wasn't a fat, nttawwt), but he was freakin' SINGING along to the music. God, how I wanted to stab him in the face.

Hi!

And sorry about that. But the music was so good! Really bouncy and peppy!

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nope. I'm entirely earnest on this one. Nothing's worse than trying to land a hot mean chick. Its a fucking pain in the ass.

I'm rescued from complete shallowness by laziness. Story of my life...

Stop disrespecting me and everyone else on the board.

[Fugee]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I note that both me and my Fuck Partner are fairly tight with the compliments and I think that we both wish the other was a little less so. It is nice, however, to know that when he tells me I look good he really means it. Some of this stuff goes back to the way you were raised. And it is hard to learn to be the other way if you were raised to be stingy with compliments. But not entirely unworth the effort.

I don't get the whole stingy with compliments deal. Do you think to yourself, "Hey, Fuck Buddy looks really good in that shirt" or "Wow, Fuck Buddy made a great steak" but keep it to yourself or do you not even think the complimentary thought? If you think it but don't say it, is it a conscious decision not to say it or would it take a conscious decision to say it?

Growing up, my family had a sarcastic sense of humor and was more likely to say something snotty than a compliment (except on food, my mom is a great baker). I am fairly free with compliments (sincere ones, not false ones) and don't really know how I got that way.

ETA: I'm with Gwinky and RP in believing that rarity does not add value to compliments. I can see dtb's and TM's points about ultra-repetitive compliments coming off as insincere or annoying, but there is a whole lot of room between rarity and repetitive.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
This is a lie, and you know that we know that it is a lie, which makes it all the more disrespectful.

What does it matter anyway. I never had any rap with either chick. I have actually heard the line "You know, I was pretty drunk and probably would have fucked you had you not spoken."

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
What does it matter anyway. I never had any rap with either chick. I have actually heard the line "You know, I was pretty drunk and probably would have fucked you had you not spoken."

Nobody has ever said that to you. Now, not only are you lying, but you are also being falsely modest in an insufferable attempt to fish for compliments. You are using up your capital on this board pretty quickly.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by dtb
You know, I'm going to weigh in with Coltrane here. (I know!!)

My husband says "you're so [fill in random complimentary thing here]" as filler for lulls in conversation, and, to be honest, it sort of gets on my nerves. It's as though he can't think of anything else to say, so he'll just say "you're hot!", which, while lovely, when he says it LITERALLY in every single, solitary conversation, I kind of get sick of it.

OK, maybe I'm just weird.

"Ooooh, my husband tells me I'm hot all the time, and it's just sooooo tiresome." Sheesh. Cry me a river, sister.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
What does it matter anyway. I never had any rap with either chick. I have actually heard the line "You know, I was pretty drunk and probably would have fucked you had you not spoken."

What effect did that have on you?

My family is not a compliment-giving family. Several years ago, I made a conscious effort to give more compliments (b/c I was spending little time with my family, and more time with nice normal people who do give compliments sometimes) and tend to voice it now if I think "wow, that's a great shirt" or whatever. It used to not occur to me to say it, in answer to Fugee's question. It took a conscious effort to switch that on.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
If a man compliments me with some regularity, I tend to think that he really believes the compliments that he is giving me.

If a man only compliments me rarely, I tend to think that when he compliments me, it's because he thinks it's the appropriate time for a compliment.

In the above scenario, I wouldn't believe you when you finally got around to telling me, but would assume you were only telling me because I was having a bad day.

You are reading too much into that last post. My example doesn't assume it was obvious that you weren't feeling so beautiful. If it came to my mind at that point because I was looking at you and the feeling swelled to the point where I wanted to tell you (and you just might happen to not feel so beautiful at that point), it would mean something.

Sometimes I'll give a compliment like that when my gf is walking around in sweats with a baseball cap on because I'm thinking about everything I like about her (not just her looks, even though I think that look is hot).

I don't compliment people at an "appropriate time." That's stupid and would lead to the other person expecting it even more than if you complimented them all the time. If you think I would, you need to go back and reread all my posts (or just ask Fugee -- that ain't me). However, I reserve the right to tell you you're beautiful if you are all dressed up and look stunning if I feel like it.

Thurgreed(I'm not denying that my rules may not make sense to people other than me -- but it's worked pretty well for me so far)Marshall

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
What does it matter anyway. I never had any rap with either chick. I have actually heard the line "You know, I was pretty drunk and probably would have fucked you had you not spoken."

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Nobody has ever said that to you. Now, not only are you lying, but you are also being falsely modest in an insufferable attempt to fish for compliments. You are using up your capital on this board pretty quickly.

Untrue. I said it to him.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I dated a guy for three months whose opening line was "you're fairly attractive."

Since I am actually sah-mokin' hot, I inferred sincerity from his understatement, and fucked his brains out that very night. So there ya go.

My ex used to call me "cute" when I did something that he thought was particularly endearing. I have never, ever considered myself cute, and I'd deny the charge. He honestly thought it was a compliment (though he knew it irritated me) and I honestly thought it was a ridiculous adjective to be applied to anyone over the age of six. He'd try to explain how I was "cute" which really didn't help his cause much.