Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its a great school, no? My patented "Fluff 101," where you discover you don't like oral as much as sex through repeated comparison is going for $13,000.00 a credit right now.

Wow. Looks like Philly's teacher shortage is driving up salaries and tuition costs.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I wish I were this drunk. THat's it. I am moving to the East Coast, where you get to get drunker sooner and for longer periods of time.

I'm permadrunk. I've got that dry drunk thing going. I feign sober contemplative give-a-shitness by frowning and furrowing my brow. For some reason, if you stare really hard a lot and look pissed off, people think you're incapable of slackerness.

I wish I could rewind to exactly the point where my personality split and I became a full on fraud. I don't actually "understand" or "get" anything I do. I mimic, use nuggets of knowledge and a few acquired skills, and sort of will myself through my career like some Walter Mitty disaster. I need to go to your Coast. I am waaaay too full of shit for the East Coast.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Translation: I got Slave to invest in the Cheap, Tawdry, Common Ass Model Agency but we went under when Kate Moss won the fluffy panties account. They told us she made them look classy,.

Pure crap. Go start another insurgency or something.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Wow. Looks like Philly's teacher shortage is driving up salaries and tuition costs.

No, I'm gouging. We're a Jesuit institution; the instructors work nearly free.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm permadrunk. I've got that dry drunk thing going. I feign sober contemplative give-a-shitness by frowning and furrowing my brow. For some reason, if you stare really hard a lot and look pissed off, people think you're incapable of slackerness.

I wish I could rewind to exactly the point where my personality split and I became a full on fraud. I don't actually "understand" or "get" anything I do. I mimic, use nuggets of knowledge and a few acquired skills, and sort of will myself through my career like some Walter Mitty disaster. I need to go to your Coast. I am waaaay too full of shit for the East Coast.

2.

And we're interviewing litigation laterals. You'd like it here. Not "here" as in the law firm, but the great PacNW.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Pure crap. Go start another insurgency or something.

TM

I have started a Tee Shirt company. Here is our newest one

I'm Not In Anger Management. I'm Thurgreed

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm permadrunk. I've got that dry drunk thing going. I feign sober contemplative give-a-shitness by frowning and furrowing my brow. For some reason, if you stare really hard a lot and look pissed off, people think you're incapable of slackerness.

Okay, Costanza.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I wish I could rewind to exactly the point where my personality split and I became a full on fraud. I don't actually "understand" or "get" anything I do. I mimic, use nuggets of knowledge and a few acquired skills, and sort of will myself through my career like some Walter Mitty disaster. I need to go to your Coast. I am waaaay too full of shit for the East Coast.

Why don't you two just meet each other halfway and get a room in MN, already.

TM

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
No, I'm gouging. We're a Jesuit institution; the instructors work nearly free.

I didn't think the Jesuits were so opposed to the oral.

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
True, at least until Ironweed fills me in on the proper blender speed for the bourbon/pill cocktail.

Whoah! Whoahh hwhoa woahhh! I was just joking around, but you and Sebby apparently even know which brand of bourbon you'd prefer. At this point I think it's best to make clear that neither Lawtalkers nor its affiliates endorse the practice of mixing 30-40 valium, 10-15 xanax, 2-5 klonopin, however many over-the-counter sleeping pills you can buy without attracting undue suspicion, cough syrup to taste (for color and body) with 18-24 oz of small-batch Bourbon and (here's the kicker) 2-4 oz of Jagermeister in a standard kitchen blender and blending on a low setting (quite right about the froth problem). Serve over rocks . . . I mean don't. No no no. Sprig of mint is a nice touch.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I have started a Tee Shirt company. Here is our newest one

I'm Not In Anger Management. I'm Thurgreed

You should wear one. You might get a date, instead of going home to your $1,500 vibrator with dreams of some uninterested masseur dancing in your knucklehead.

edited to change "masseuse to masseur," although I'm sure she'd be uninterested too.

TM

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ironweed
Whoah! Whoahh hwhoa woahhh! I was just joking around, but you and Sebby apparently even know which brand of bourbon you'd prefer. At this point I think it's best to make clear that neither Lawtalkers nor its affiliates endorse the practice of mixing 30-40 valium, 10-15 xanax, 2-5 klonopin, however many over-the-counter sleeping pills you can buy without attracting undue suspicion, cough syrup to taste (for color and body) with 18-24 oz of small-batch Bourbon and (here's the kicker) 2-4 oz of Jagermeister in a standard kitchen blender and blending on a low setting (quite right about the froth problem). Serve over rocks . . . I mean don't. No no no. Sprig of mint is a nice touch.

And, of course, the most important touch.

Fire. makes. it. taste. good.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You should wear one. You might get a date, instead of going home to your $1,500 vibrator with dreams of some uninterested masseuse dancing in your knucklehead.

TM

Wait - that night when you, sebby and pp were about to consummate the threesome, who told who they didn't want who involved?

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You should wear one. You might get a date, instead of going home to your $1,500 vibrator with dreams of some uninterested masseuse dancing in your knucklehead.

TM

I can always use the tee shirt I made you to get pity fucked

I Jack The Sack. NTTAWWT

Originally posted by spookyfish
And, of course, the most important touch.

Fire. makes. it. taste. good.

Fuck. I just did the Flaming Mo joke and didn't even notice. Dry drunk indeed.

[nononono]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Extra creepy points. Excellent. I've always been a bit low on creepy points.

Can't you just ask massage guy for a happy ending?

Question on creepy calling etiquette:

If someone calls and doesn't leave a number but says will call back, is it creepy to call back the number that shows up on the phone screen?