Implanting Bill Gates's Micro-chips In Brains For Over 20 Years!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

This sort of thing does not happen in inhouse state agencies. At least where I am. Hell, people get fired for accepting baseball tickets from vendors.

At most big corporations too, today. I haven't been in big law for over 20 years. This same client is quite different now.

Like I have 5 admins that work closely with their two admins- one is in Illinois and one in CT. I thought it would great if they could all meet in person, so i proposed to the patent counsel that my firm would fly their two admins to Michigan for a day to meet. Way more practical then fly my 5 admins to IL and then CT.

Patent Counsel agreed it would be good for them to meet, but noted doing it would violate their policy against accepting what could be seen as something that could be seen as a bribe (whatever the term is). Understand, he took a trip to Detroit as being something that would be seen as a positive.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

It's all about the optics. Who gets the parade at work? The guy who spends 5 months and a million dollars in expenses on trial (while announcing it every day) to get a verdict but the company files CH11 the next day? Or the guy who quietly recovers $20 million dollars in actual money for a single person plaintiff but doesn't sing about it?

I've never met you, but I suspect we'd bond well in re: work ethic.

I can do office politics. I've been forced to get into all sorts of Machiavellian shenanigans and self-promoting shite. But I fucking hate it.

I view work in large organizations as a place of McFriends, and McPeers -- people and groups I interact with solely for the purpose of getting money I could use to live my actual life around organically-derived friends outside the office.

Every year I'd bitch about having posted crazy numbers, but still getting the same bonus as others with lesser results. In the end, I was kinda the sucker at the table, just a bit. If one can prance and preen and fake it to the top, he's probably smarter, or at least more shrewd, than people like me.

Those "actors" help flesh out the lie that the job is the brass ring, rather than an ATM one uses to get the actual brass ring (liquidity adequate to quit and live comfortably early on in life). People who just churn out numbers and openly despise the place are mercenaries. And management knows it.

I've never worked for anyone who wasn't absolutely certain that if I'd inherited a shit ton of money or won the lottery, I would quit in an instant. Being a better bullshitter might've been more lucrative.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

How does a PI firm handle a lawyer running up expenses that aren't collected?

Happens all the time. The guy running the costs is often not only bullshitting about how great his work is, but also the likelihood of success (winning and collecting, or settling well) of the case.

Churner is crunching through solid but unsexy cases with high likelihood of significant and early fee realization. Promoter is talking about all the neat theories and arguments and goings on in his case. What he's never talking is exactly how much the dollars are going to likely be and when exactly they're likely to arrive.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

As to wasteful business expenses, the key really is that waste should be shared, because everyone enjoys partaking of something wasteful now and then. Whether it be the private box, the nice wine, the fancy dinner... make sure you cut your support staff in on some of the waste, be generous with your profligacy. Let everyone have their piece of the waste.

Or just bonus them out of the blue. YMMV, but in the few experiences where I managed numbers of people, in and out of law, I found that small bonuses here and there - just little reminders that management appreciates the work and will share - drive up morale.

It's also a nice feeling. If you have a good quarter and there's some cash sitting around, share some of it. A lot of employers are learning just how little loyalty employees had to them since Covid started. Maybe these whining managers should have treated their people a little bit better.

I see very little difference between people who use leverage to pay workers like shit and people who treat the wait staff poorly. Those people suck all the dicks, and they deserve all the wage inflation our current period of post-Covid inflation is going to stick up their asses.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Or just bonus them out of the blue. YMMV, but in the few experiences where I managed numbers of people, in and out of law, I found that small bonuses here and there - just little reminders that management appreciates the work and will share - drive up morale.

It's also a nice feeling. If you have a good quarter and there's some cash sitting around, share some of it. A lot of employers are learning just how little loyalty employees had to them since Covid started. Maybe these whining managers should have treated their people a little bit better.

I see very little difference between people who use leverage to pay workers like shit and people who treat the wait staff poorly. Those people suck all the dicks, and they deserve all the wage inflation our current period of post-Covid inflation is going to stick up their asses.

I am totally here for this sort of thing:

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Happens all the time. The guy running the costs is often not only bullshitting about how great his work is, but also the likelihood of success (winning and collecting, or settling well) of the case.

Churner is crunching through solid but unsexy cases with high likelihood of significant and early fee realization. Promoter is talking about all the neat theories and arguments and goings on in his case. What he's never talking is exactly how much the dollars are going to likely be and when exactly they're likely to arrive.

Sure. But a case comes in with $1M in expenses and nothing collected although the D offered $2m to settle. There is no penalty to the GP that made that choice?

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

I am totally here for this sort of thing:

TBH, I have just blocked those numbers and said I lost my phone in a cab and don't have a new one.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

Sure. But a case comes in with $1M in expenses and nothing collected although the D offered $2m to settle. There is no penalty to the GP that made that choice?

Well, being that the settlement offer was makes it easier. But you don't have to spend a million bucks to get zero in the end.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Or just bonus them out of the blue. YMMV, but in the few experiences where I managed numbers of people, in and out of law, I found that small bonuses here and there - just little reminders that management appreciates the work and will share - drive up morale.

It's also a nice feeling. If you have a good quarter and there's some cash sitting around, share some of it. A lot of employers are learning just how little loyalty employees had to them since Covid started. Maybe these whining managers should have treated their people a little bit better.

I see very little difference between people who use leverage to pay workers like shit and people who treat the wait staff poorly. Those people suck all the dicks, and they deserve all the wage inflation our current period of post-Covid inflation is going to stick up their asses.

Agreed. Like getting a picture of the boss's new yacht or G5 is a great perk.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

I am totally here for this sort of thing:

My Harvard education taught me to treat staff better than that.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

I am totally here for this sort of thing:

That's hysterical. I've seen it in person, up close -- that look of horror when the person who thinks he has leverage suddenly realizes there is no negotiation taking place. The way the person's ego deflates in an instant is amusing. But not as amusing as having a recording like a text thread, showing the progression in detail.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Agreed. Like getting a picture of the boss's new yacht or G5 is a great perk.

Or the Judge Smails' treatment. "How about you and your spouse come out to our exclusive club and have dinner with us?"

How about you fucking shoot me instead? First, I've been a members-only club before. I was not born in a cave on Mars. The specials will be -- lemme guess -- crab cakes and prime rib? Second, the idea of spending a Saturday night with people I see in the office is as enticing as a colonoscopy.

You wanna grab a drink after work? Fine. Tempered with cocktails, I can tolerate pretending to care and finding you interesting for about a hour. Let's stick to borders like that.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

But you don't have to spend a million bucks to get zero in the end.

The Zero.Zero Club doesn't see it that way. They don't vet cases by first determining if there's a pocket and limited chance of bankruptcy. That's too... logical?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

The Zero.Zero Club doesn't see it that way. They don't vet cases by first determining if there's a pocket and limited chance of bankruptcy. That's too... logical?

When we first opened we had 6 attorneys. I was talking to a guy who had started a patent firm 20 years earlier with 6 attorneys, and they had 60 at the time I started here. He said "do not hire your 16th lawyer, because at that point there is no way for you to know all that is going on."

We are at 22 now. Last week I was checking on a client that owed us $80,000, $40K of which was out of pockets expenses. I had them contact the client trying to get some of that in. We got an email back saying "We lost $10,000,000 in 2020 and expect to lose as much this year. We can't pay."

Then I found out the client came to my partner telling him he was looking for a new patent firm because his old firm would no longer do work for it because the client didn't pay their bills, owed them $100,000. How the fuck do you take that client?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

When we first opened we had 6 attorneys. I was talking to a guy who had started a patent firm 20 years earlier with 6 attorneys, and they had 60 at the time I started here. He said "do not hire your 16th lawyer, because at that point there is no way for you to know all that is going on."

We are at 22 now. Last week I was checking on a client that owed us $80,000, $40K of which was out of pockets expenses. I had them contact the client trying to get some of that in. We got an email back saying "We lost $10,000,000 in 2020 and expect to lose as much this year. We can't pay."

Then I found out the client came to my partner telling him he was looking for a new patent firm because his old firm would no longer do work for it because the client didn't pay their bills, owed them $100,000. How the fuck do you take that client?

If they lost $10M they're paying a lot of people something. You're just not on their list.