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[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I think we should kill all fat people.

Jealous.

We -- with the slower metabolisms who can store fat better for the long ice age winters -- are the superior beings on this planet.

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Jealous.

We -- with the slower metabolisms who can store fat better for the long ice age winters -- are the superior beings on this planet.

Can I have the Hickeys that don't fit you anymore? The ones without the cumstains on the pants or any blue vein shitdick sucking residue, I mean.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by ironweed
Please. You are so totally re-foldering and cross-indexing your complete collection of Sebby posts by date and ranty-ness as we speak. During big important meetings, when you should be taking notes, you write "Gwinky Dangerfield" over and over in big puffy letters on your legal pad (the dots on the i's are little hearts). You've got the grass you scraped from under his lawnmower suspended in a little chunk of plastic on your desk and everyone thinks it's a deal toy, even though it only says "Sebby Sweet Sebby" on it. You're going back to grad school just so you can write a thesis called "Dis/Association: Reclaiming Sebby For A Post-Modern Internet Community."

Pull yourself together already.

It could never work. I mean, Sebby doesn't really dig the blowjobs. Sure, he's never had his cock sucked by the former Miss Legs Toronto (as far as I know, anyway), but the relationship seems doomed to failure.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
What could possibly be horrible about a skank who gives you drugs? Seems to me a nicer adjective is in order.

You know those quasi-dealers/brokers who do home delivery because they're desperate for friends and never shut the fuck up and hang out because they think the people sitting there, staring at them, waiting for them to leave, actually like hearing their riffs about how "my like hair dryer fell in the sink when I was brushing my teeth, and it, like, freaked me out because you can die from that shit, man! Did I ever tell you how I once met Bradley Nowell?"

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Jealous.

No. Just pushing fringey's buttons.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Somehow seems too festive, but I suppose it could work. Or wait until she goes to the rest room, then ejaculate in her coffee.

Wouldn't you want her to know about it? I say work one up, run in and ejaculate into her coffee while she's sitting at her desk.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I just went into my boss's office to give notice. Things were going very well until it came time for me to shit on her desk. Unfortunately, she had to take a phone call, and I didn't feel like holding things in, and now I'm feeling rather empty. What should I do?

You've got three hours... Hit Taco Bell (and hit it HARD)*, down a box of raisins and slug a 20 oz Starbucks Double Red Eye.

* Three bean burritos and a beef burrito. The beef is gross, I know. But its just as gross on the distribution end...

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
It could never work. I mean, Sebby doesn't really dig the blowjobs. Sure, he's never had his cock sucked by the former Miss Legs Toronto (as far as I know, anyway), but the relationship seems doomed to failure.

She knows. But she has a goth girl streak that can't resist the whole star-crossed and tragic aspect of her obsessive fascination.

Didn't the Smiths write a song about lawnmowers, irritable Philly lawyers who disdain the oral sex and the blowjob queens who love them? It was sad. But it had a peppy beat and nice guitar work.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
No. Just pushing fringey's buttons.

Lower, moron.

Poor sequels.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Wouldn't you want her to know about it? I say work one up, run in and ejaculate into her coffee while she's sitting at her desk.

If it were a male boss, would the ejaculation into the coffee routine even have come up (sts)?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ironweed
She knows. But she has a goth girl streak that can't resist the whole star-crossed and tragic aspect of her obsessive fascination.

Didn't the Smiths write a song about lawnmowers, irritable Philly lawyers who disdain the oral sex and the blowjob queens who love them? It was sad. But it had a peppy beat and nice guitar work.

<Sigh>

You nailed it. All the way from the legal pad doodlings to the unrequited longing in the back of my throat.

I'm crying over my "Sebbyfacts" flash cards now.

I hope you're happy now, Ironmeanie.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Lower, moron.

Poor sequels.

Ever had that guys? You'd be
searching for the pussy down there.

And your dick be sliding down and shit,
and the girl be going: "That's not it..."

"Is there any problem ?"
"No, ain't no problem, baby."

"You got a shoe horn or some shit like that?"

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
If it were a male boss, would the ejaculation into the coffee routine even have come up (sts)?

Not the portion involving doing it in front of the boss... But as to the rest of it, absolutely. In fact, if one is to masturbate into a superior's beverage, its better for that superior be a man. Most women have tasted the semen, some frequently. She could very well smile and say "A little salty, and you might want to check to see if you've got a touch of prostatitis," after you haughtily announce to her that the cream in her coffee "wasn't cream at all."

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by ironweed
She knows. But she has a goth girl streak that can't resist the whole star-crossed and tragic aspect of her obsessive fascination.

Didn't the Smiths write a song about lawnmowers, irritable Philly lawyers who disdain the oral sex and the blowjob queens who love them? It was sad. But it had a peppy beat and nice guitar work.

AoN, Johnny Marr has apparently been living in these parts of late, helping out on the new Modest Mouse album. Don't know if he's gotten any blowjobs while he's been here. I'd guess he has.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by taxwonk
I'd rather just become part of your faboo life. Even the teasing would be a welcome change of pace.

Jesus, man... go get an escort. That kind of defeatist talk has no place here.