General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

The small one is sick, and has lots of green eye goop. The doctor's office was unimpressed with his purported fever, but changed its tune immediately when presented with allegations of green eye goop. What's up with that?

[Secret_Agent_Man]

Originally posted by Trepidation_Mom
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6959880/site/newsweek/

Super article on crazy-making mommy-dom. (First-class child care costs more that state uni tuition? I gotta get me somma dat.)

An interesting article. While I hesitate to begin this conversation, I can't help but think that the generation of "super-moms" she discusses are operating under largely self-imposed pressure to give their kids lots of things/activities/stimulation/etc. without stopping to consider that that they never had all that as children and that these kids don't truly need all that in order to grow up as decent, educated, productive, and sucessful citizens.

[OK, there is plenty of societal pressure too from the legions of other crazies and the industries that have grown up around them. But no one _has_ to play the game.]

Here is one snippet from the article. My responses in brackets:

"Women today mother in the excessive, control-freakish way that they do in part because they are psychologically conditioned to do so. [Yep.] But they also do it because, to a large extent, they have to. [Why?] Because they are unsupported [either "horseshit" and/or "get a new husband and/or immediate family"], because their children are not taken care of, in any meaningful way, by society at large. [And they should be?] Because there is right now no widespread feeling of social responsibility—for children, for families, for anyone, really [What in the world does this mean?]—and so they must take everything onto themselves. [Nonsense.] And because they can't, humanly, take everything onto themselves, they simply go nuts."

No, many mothers go nuts because they try to take on everything and do everything. They [and many fathers] go nuts because they fall into the trap of believing that their child must go to the _best_ preschool so that she can get into Harvard someday. They believe that their child should go to the best ballet class and the best playgroup _and_ participate in five sports with three travel teams in order to achieve their full potential as human beings. They believe that hosting a class party for six year olds actually requires them to paint paper plates, buy gifts for everyone and color coordinate all the linens with their underwear.

One human can only do so much -- and what one mother can do is enough for a child. If you want to stop, just stop. Maybe not easy, but it is simple.

S_A_M

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
The small one is sick, and has lots of green eye goop. The doctor's office was unimpressed with his purported fever, but changed its tune immediately when presented with allegations of green eye goop. What's up with that?

It just sounds interesting- everyone gets bored mid-week.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Secret_Agent_Man
They believe that hosting a class party for six year olds actually requires them to paint paper plates, buy gifts for everyone and color coordinate all the linens with their underwear.

I don't have kids, but if I did, I would always go commando, which seems to kill several birds with one stone. Nothing to coordinate! No need for linens! Saves time on laundry!

I should have my own parenting advice show on TV.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
The small one is sick, and has lots of green eye goop. The doctor's office was unimpressed with his purported fever, but changed its tune immediately when presented with allegations of green eye goop. What's up with that?

Survey says: Conjunctivitis.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I don't have kids, but if I did, I would always go commando, which seems to kill several birds with one stone. Nothing to coordinate! No need for linens! Saves time on laundry!

I should have my own parenting advice show on TV.

Mama!

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
The small one is sick, and has lots of green eye goop. The doctor's office was unimpressed with his purported fever, but changed its tune immediately when presented with allegations of green eye goop. What's up with that?

Any time any part of the human body starts producing green discharge, it's evidence of infection. Yes, even boogers.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Any time any part of the human body starts producing green discharge, it's evidence of infection. Yes, even boogers.

Any time the body runs a fever, it's evidence of infection.

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Any time the body runs a fever, it's evidence of infection.

Mostly, but little kids' temps go up from crying too much, running around, too many blankies, teething.... A low grade fever in a (not-newborn) baby is not cause for alarm w/o more.

That said, Eww. Pink-eye. Keep that little infected booger-eyed baby far away from this house, Ty! Seriously, hope he's feeling better.

BTW, the Lexling reports for his 15mo weigh-in this afternoon, so we'll see if he's grown any.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by TexLex
Mostly, but little kids' temps go up from crying too much, running around, too many blankies, teething.... A low grade fever in a (not-newborn) baby is not cause for alarm w/o more.

That said, Eww. Pink-eye. Keep that little infected booger-eyed baby far away from this house, Ty! Seriously, hope he's feeling better.

BTW, the Lexling reports for his 15mo weigh-in this afternoon, so we'll see if he's grown any.

Aside from teething, those aren't fevers.

[OscarCrease]

Did I miss it or has the fundamentalist right been asleep at the wheel, still drunk on the results of the last two presidential elections? When Clinton was in office, Teewinkie (or whatever that Teletubby's name was) almost got lynched and here we are in year 5 of the reign of George II and Toot & Puddle appear to be living in a blatant civil union unmolested by the thought police. Any theories on this?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Any time the body runs a fever, it's evidence of infection.

In younger people, fevers aren't as relaible a predictor as discharge, but your point is well taken.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Any time the body runs a fever, it's evidence of infection.

Those times you feel sick in the head, and go on your rants- are those infection driven?

Originally posted by OscarCrease
Did I miss it or has the fundamentalist right been asleep at the wheel, still drunk on the results of the last two presidential elections? When Clinton was in office, Teewinkie (or whatever that Teletubby's name was) almost got lynched and here we are in year 5 of the reign of George II and Toot & Puddle appear to be living in a blatant civil union unmolested by the thought police. Any theories on this?

They've been busy with their campaigns against Spongebob and that PBS postcard rabbit - Buster (?).

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by TexLex
For a full range of hidden nannycams, click HERE.

Interesting. That link is to a company called "Know Your Nanny" and I bought a nanny cam from this company,which is really just one cool guy who happens to live in my state. He is really great. This was a year ago and Viet Babe was expressing angst when I turned her over to the new Nanny of 2 weeks (scrupulously hired as per the advice books on interviewing and references). Viet Babe didn't normally show that angst with others. I HAD to go to a work event the next day (a Friday) and was nervous about leaving her so I called the guy after finding his website on a Thursday night. He said he'd rush the cam over to me so I'd get it "first thing the next [Friday] morning". Well, darn, the thing showed up at 6 am, enabling me to set it up Friday morning before the Nanny even arrived at my house for work. The guy even gave me his cell number and told me to call him the next morning with questions about installation (and I did). I was able to set that puppy up before the Nanny even got to my house for work. Then I left for work/the event.

It was a clock radio (functional) which I put in the living room near the TV which broadcact the sofa area everyone usually hangs out on to watch TV. The transister thingey was in the room above on the second floor, hooked up to an old VCR recording. I left that morning amazed that I didn't even think of a cam until Thursday night and now I had it and it was all hooked up, with even time for a dry run before she got there. I watched it when she left Friday night.

Like will never be the same. I had to go to my neighbors who I hardly knew to ask them to watch it with me. I then had an attorney watch it familiar with criminal law and we agonized whether to turn it over to the prosecutor's office. Instead, my Dad (also a lawyer) and I called her and fired her.

The nanny cam guy told me that of all people who cam -- even those people who cam their caregivers "just to make sure but don't have suspicions" -- some huge percentage (I think 80%) fire the Nanny within 24 hours. That is a really large percentage, and I fell within it. Daycare for us, forever more. PS - that guy is REALLY nice and when I gave the cam to my sister a year later, he didn't mind that she bugged him with questions on the cam. I can't say enough good things about him and his company, Know Your Nanny. To think I'd have waited a week for a cam, subjecting the Babe to another week of the Nanny From Hell is beyond comprehension. Before I was a privacy freak, and a big believer in trust after due diligence. Now, I'm a cam advocate.

Of course, realize that you'll see things you don't like such as the Nanny watching too much TV or being lazy or spending too much time on the phone and letting the child do things they aren't supposed to do usually. This you have to think about hard and don't jump to conclusions. Maybe the problem will be fixed with a talk. On the other hand, if you are watching a video showing a lady watching TV as your child screams for 2 hours in their crib upstairs long after their nap time is over, or someone refusing to touch or pick up a crying 1 year old whose hands are reaching out to the Nanny, or a Nanny who sleeps on an armchair for 3 hours as your kid runs rampant, then that's something different. Anyone planning to cam will help themselves immensely by (before using the cam) making a list of potential new nannies or day cares, and having all phone numbers handy because if you watch the tape and are freaked out, it's comforting to know you have at least started finding backup. Cam them on a Friday so you have the day off the next day to freak out and get help from friends and family.

Sorry about the long post. I obviously am pretty opinionated about this.

Vietmom