Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Not even the toys are dangerous any more.
Not a lawn dart in sight.

Jarts were great.

Why the hell were they called "jarts"?

Edited to add a link to the Jarts annual tournament page:
http://www.jarts.com/

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Not even the toys are dangerous any more.

http://money.cnn.com/2003/11/18/news...ex.htm?cnn=yes

This article describes the toys on the "10 Worst Toys" list. You'd have to seriously try to hurt yourself with any of these. Not a lawn dart in sight. And what happened to metal erector sets? How is one supposed to build weapons to fend off Big Brother when he comes to hang you from the door by your tightie whities? The damn water yo yo (#1 on the list) sure isn't going to do the trick.

I think the key to dangerous toys today is electricity.

Most kids' toys have been sanitized, but there is nothing more dangerous than a good voltage techie toy and a screwdriver.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
This is roughly the theory put forward by Bruno Bettelheim in his book The Uses of Enchantment. Very briefly, kids learn how to survive the cruel, chaotic world through lessons learned from fairy tales.

Amazon link here

Interestingly enough, someone from another board just linked to this fascinating article on the stories that homeless kids in Miami tell each other. Horrific and gruesome, but also hopeful. I think it's a very well written article.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/issues/...5/feature.html

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by dtb
Didn't SNL do a skit about this where Dan Akroyd was a sleazy salesman trying to sell dangerous toys? The only one I can remember is "Bag of Broken Glass" (although there may have been something like "Plastic Bag with Neckrope" or some such thing.)

I think there was both, though the bag of broken glass was what immediately sprang to mind when I saw the article. I think there was also something called Johnny Flamethrower, but that may have been one of the salesman's Halloween costumes.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Jarts were great.

Why the hell were they called "jarts"?

Edited to add a link to the Jarts annual tournament page:
http://www.jarts.com/

Gotta love the disclaimer:

WARNING: Lawn Jarts have been banned for manufacturing and resale in the United States. The government of the United States has asked that all Jarts be destroyed. In no way do we encourage or condone children using Jarts. Injuries from Lawn Jarts can result in serious injury or possibly even death. Those who play in this tournament are aware of the dangers of using Lawn Jarts and choose to take on the responsibilities associated with this sport.

I guess this explains the lack of a "16 & under" division.

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Gotta love the disclaimer:

WARNING: Lawn Jarts have been banned for manufacturing and resale in the United States. The government of the United States has asked that all Jarts be destroyed. In no way do we encourage or condone children using Jarts. Injuries from Lawn Jarts can result in serious injury or possibly even death. Those who play in this tournament are aware of the dangers of using Lawn Jarts and choose to take on the responsibilities associated with this sport.

I guess this explains the lack of a "16 & under" division.

Wow, are you like a personal injury lawyer?

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I think there was both, though the bag of broken glass was what immediately sprang to mind when I saw the article. I think there was also something called Johnny Flamethrower, but that may have been one of the salesman's Halloween costumes.

Here's the transcript of the first dangerous toys sketch...

My favorite was Johnny Switchblade, which had knives shoot out of its arms, or the spaceman kit which consisted of a plastic bag to put over your head...

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jconsumerprobe.phtml

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Not even the toys are dangerous any more.

http://money.cnn.com/2003/11/18/news...ex.htm?cnn=yes

This article describes the toys on the "10 Worst Toys" list. You'd have to seriously try to hurt yourself with any of these. Not a lawn dart in sight. And what happened to metal erector sets? How is one supposed to build weapons to fend off Big Brother when he comes to hang you from the door by your tightie whities? The damn water yo yo (#1 on the list) sure isn't going to do the trick.

This is proof that I could still hold my own with today's kids in a Roman Candle war. They'd probably wave sparklers at me.

Pussies.

[SEC_Chick]

I can't have been the only kid to learn about sex from the old classic "Cats Have Kittens. Do Gloves Have Mittens?"


Ah well. So much for my post for this month.

favorite cartoon character.

well here is my most least favorite ever. In fact I get a case of cheval like rage when he magically appears uninvited on the right side of my screen and wont leave like the Lingerons (what was that from anyway/). That paper clip with the eyes. grrrrrrr

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I think there was both, though the bag of broken glass was what immediately sprang to mind when I saw the article. I think there was also something called Johnny Flamethrower, but that may have been one of the salesman's Halloween costumes.

A bag of gas-soaked rags and a lighter.

The best part of that skit is when he demonstrates the danger in all toys, choking himself with a teddy bear or something.

TM

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Here's the transcript of the first dangerous toys sketch...

My favorite was Johnny Switchblade, which had knives shoot out of its arms, or the spaceman kit which consisted of a plastic bag to put over your head...

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jconsumerprobe.phtml

I'm all over Bag O' Vipers for the nieces and nephews. They open the present on Christmas morning while Mom and Dad are in the kitchen putting up some coffee. Hilarity ensues!

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
favorite cartoon character.

well here is my most least favorite ever. In fact I get a case of cheval like rage when he magically appears uninvited on the right side of my screen and wont leave like the Lingerons (what was that from anyway/). That paper clip with the eyes. grrrrrrr

Any of that abysmally crappy Japanese animation where it's just an immobile character with the mouth moving about once every ten seconds. That, and the Legion of Doom should've just taken out the friggin' Wonder Twins.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Wow, are you like a personal injury lawyer?

Wish I were. That way, I could dress classy.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by SEC_Chick
I can't have been the only kid to learn about sex from the old classic "Cats Have Kittens. Do Gloves Have Mittens?"


Ah well. So much for my post for this month.

I thought most kids learned about sex from manuals, like I did:



So how did you all learn about sex?