Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
A bag of gas-soaked rags and a lighter.

The best part of that skit is when he demonstrates the danger in all toys, choking himself with a teddy bear or something.

TM

Here's the Halloween sketch transcript with the spaceman costume I mentioned and TM's Johnny Human Torch costume...

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77dconsumerprobe.phtml

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I thought most kids learned about sex from manuals, like I did:



So how did you all learn about sex?

Wouldn't this cause some initial insecurity for a male?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I thought most kids learned about sex from manuals, like I did:

So how did you all learn about sex?

I think it was a combo of things. The details were sort of sketchy in the books I was reading, though there was a lot of inuendo. I knew that nakedness was involved somehow, probably from TV, but undressing the barbies did nothing to further my education, and probably further mystified me. Finally (I think), I found one of those "how babies are made" books that start out with the prhase "when two people love each other very, very much" in a bookstore and spent an hour reading it. Fascinating stuff to a seven-year old. The mechanics seemed a little difficult to understand, and I'm sure that I asked my parents about it. They may or may not have blushed and shuffled their feet. I think they drew my attention to the cows in order to distract me from the human stuff. I know that I saw a lot of calves being born at around eight or nine years old. I dutifully passed on what I had learned to my younger siblings, using the relatively useless Barbies as a demonstrative aid, and opting out of the more obscure cow reference.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Wouldn't this cause some initial insecurity for a male?

You mean a stallion?

[leagleaze]

My parents showed and bred dogs, so I learned about sex from watching dogs breed. I helped deliver puppies also. While they were frank about the mechanics of breeding dogs, they never really did discuss human sexuality with me. They gave me a book to read. I forget the name but it had a white cover. We had sex education in school that was actually pretty good as I recall.

Now, about this jart thing. How could anyone ever have thought this was a good idea?

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by dtb
Anyway, speaking of stories that remain branded into one's brain -- and not in a good way -- I remember some short story about how a futuristic society would administer some kind of intelligence (?) test to each child at age 12 (or whatever). The story centers around a set of parents who, although very worried about the outcome of the test (as there is some hint given that a less-than-desirable outcome will have grave consequences), put on a brave face, and send junior into the testing center with smiles and encouragement.

You're thinking of Kurt Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron." It was eventually made into a movie starring Sean Astin. I've never seen the movie, but the story was pretty much burned in my brain.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by leagleaze
My parents showed and bred dogs, so I learned about sex from watching dogs breed.

Well, that explains why you sniffed me instead of shaking my hand. Not that I'm complaining.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by leagleaze

Now, about this jart thing. How could anyone ever have though this was a good idea?

Note that the game is only for adults.

I pass no judgment on what two (or more) consenting adults do in their own back yard, as long as they keep it away from the kids.

But then, I'm from Massachusetts.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Well, that explains why you sniffed me instead of shaking my hand. Not that I'm complaining.

Sorry, bad habit. But you seemed to like it when I licked you.




















His hand people, his hand.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by leagleaze
My parents showed and bred dogs, so I learned about sex from watching dogs breed.

How did they breed lesbian dogs? Can I watch?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

So how did you all learn about sex?

My best friend's parents had a book called "Show Me" that was like in large print with graphic 70's style photographs of this couple having sex. I remember she had a huge disco mitt and he had really bad hair. I think the purpose of this book was actually to teach little kids about sex because it wasn't an adult book and it wasn't porn. We must have been about 7 when we first read it. My friend's parents were very hippie-ish and smoked a lot of pot. I totally wanted them for my parents and wanted to be Jewish because they were the only Jewish people I knew and I thought being Jewish = being cool like them.

I think I had my first orgasm on a horse, so I guess I learned from the animal kingdom as well.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Note that the game is only for adults.

I pass no judgment on what two (or more) consenting adults do in their own back yard, as long as they keep it away from the kids.

But then, I'm from Massachusetts.

You people are so liberal. Next thing you will say group scrabbling is ok. And you'll want to be able to spell out...dirty words.


These people have got to be stopped.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by leagleaze

Now, about this jart thing. How could anyone ever have thought this was a good idea?

They didn't consult their in-house counsel apparently. Though I'm sure they did after the first round of sweet-faced-child-with-gross-disfiguring-dart-scar claims hit the jury room.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by purse junkie
I'm all over Bag O' Vipers for the nieces and nephews. They open the present on Christmas morning while Mom and Dad are in the kitchen putting up some coffee. Hilarity ensues!

I remember a Leno skit about the worst Christmas toys. The one I remember was the "Gasoline Powered Sharp Thing."

I think it was a different year that he had the Ebola cabbage patch doll - squeeze it and blood pours out of its orifices and skin. Very, very gross. I would have loved it as a kid.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
How did they breed lesbian dogs? Can I watch?

My boss had to step outside his office and ask who was crying I was laughing so hard.

Thank you.