Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants - Page 112

Anne Elk · 04-13-2005, 01:47 AM

Prosecutor dies in helicopter crash

It is a tragic situation, but enough already. This is getting more press coverage than the pre-season ARod bashing, Cardinal Law's celebration of one of the nine offical mourning masses for JPII, and the Celtics playoff prospects.

04-13-2005, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
"Stripper party" or strip club? If fidelity is your concern, there is no safer place for a bunch of drunk married/attached guys to end up than a strip club (okay, certain San Francisco establishments excepted). Your man ain't gettin' any at the strip club. He may blow a bunch of cash, but all he's likely to get for it is a bunch of stripper glitter on his collar.

As a wise man once said, "there is no sex in the Champagne Room."

04-13-2005, 11:22 AM

This one has it all:

An Open Letter From McSweeneys

Spree: text only ya pussies.

lactation lover · 04-13-2005, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ironweed
As a wise man once said, "there is no sex in the Champagne Room."

But occassionally there is boobie juice.

Sidd Finch · 04-13-2005, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
"Stripper party" or strip club? If fidelity is your concern, there is no safer place for a bunch of drunk married/attached guys to end up than a strip club (okay, certain San Francisco establishments excepted). Your man ain't gettin' any at the strip club. He may blow a bunch of cash, but all he's likely to get for it is a bunch of stripper glitter on his collar.

Some women have issues with their husbands getting tits rubbed in their faces and hands. I can't explain this, but I have heard about it.

ABBAKiss · 04-13-2005, 12:11 PM

I sold my house and bought a condo when I divorced Mr. Kiss. This morning, I received the e-mail below from my upstairs neighbor. How do I respond? Do I need to move? Oh, and last night was another night with Commando Boy. Swoon. But I didn't think we were loud.....

Hi [ABBAKiss],

I need to let you know that I could hear everything last night. Unfortunately our walls are thin and I am a light sleeper. So I heard much more than I really ever want to hear. I can also hear your piano playing at 2:30am and when you come home with friends at 2am and party at your place. I wish I could sleep through anything, but I can't and I obviously need more sleep than you do. I'm not sure how you do it. We both have different lives and schedules, but we need to be able to live in the same building. So, I hope that this can be worked out and that you will just be aware that our walls are very thin.

[Upstairs Neighbor]

andViolins · 04-13-2005, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I sold my house and bought a condo when I divorced Mr. Kiss. This morning, I received the e-mail below from my upstairs neighbor. How do I respond? Do I need to move? Oh, and last night was another night with Commando Boy. Swoon. But I didn't think we were loud.....

Hi [ABBAKiss],

I need to let you know that I could hear everything last night. Unfortunately our walls are thin and I am a light sleeper. So I heard much more than I really ever want to hear. I can also hear your piano playing at 2:30am and when you come home with friends at 2am and party at your place. I wish I could sleep through anything, but I can't and I obviously need more sleep than you do. I'm not sure how you do it. We both have different lives and schedules, but we need to be able to live in the same building. So, I hope that this can be worked out and that you will just be aware that our walls are very thin.

[Upstairs Neighbor]

Let's get to the important stuff. Is she hot?

aV

ABBAKiss · 04-13-2005, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by andViolins
Let's get to the important stuff. Is she hot?

aV

No.

Replaced_Texan · 04-13-2005, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I sold my house and bought a condo when I divorced Mr. Kiss. This morning, I received the e-mail below from my upstairs neighbor. How do I respond? Do I need to move? Oh, and last night was another night with Commando Boy. Swoon. But I didn't think we were loud.....

Hi [ABBAKiss],

I need to let you know that I could hear everything last night. Unfortunately our walls are thin and I am a light sleeper. So I heard much more than I really ever want to hear. I can also hear your piano playing at 2:30am and when you come home with friends at 2am and party at your place. I wish I could sleep through anything, but I can't and I obviously need more sleep than you do. I'm not sure how you do it. We both have different lives and schedules, but we need to be able to live in the same building. So, I hope that this can be worked out and that you will just be aware that our walls are very thin.

[Upstairs Neighbor]

That's one of the most polite shut the fuck up letters that I've ever read.

Hank Chinaski · 04-13-2005, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I sold my house and bought a condo when I divorced Mr. Kiss. This morning, I received the e-mail below from my upstairs neighbor. How do I respond? Do I need to move? Oh, and last night was another night with Commando Boy. Swoon. But I didn't think we were loud.....

Hi [ABBAKiss],

I need to let you know that I could hear everything last night. Unfortunately our walls are thin and I am a light sleeper. So I heard much more than I really ever want to hear. I can also hear your piano playing at 2:30am and when you come home with friends at 2am and party at your place. I wish I could sleep through anything, but I can't and I obviously need more sleep than you do. I'm not sure how you do it. We both have different lives and schedules, but we need to be able to live in the same building. So, I hope that this can be worked out and that you will just be aware that our walls are very thin.

[Upstairs Neighbor]

I lived in the 2nd floor of a 3 story, when the upstairs neighbor complained I blamed the people downstairs and asked for sympathy because I had it worse. Are you i a multi-story?

ABBAKiss · 04-13-2005, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I lived in the 2nd floor of a 3 story, when the upstairs neighbor complained I blamed the people downstairs and asked for sympathy because I had it worse. Are you i a multi-story?

It is clear it is me. I am the only one with a grand piano and probably the only one who is getting any. I am a bit surprised to learn that my neihbors know exactly how much of a slut I am though.

ABBAKiss · 04-13-2005, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
That's one of the most polite shut the fuck up letters that I've ever read.

Yes.

barely_legal · 04-13-2005, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I sold my house and bought a condo when I divorced Mr. Kiss. This morning, I received the e-mail below from my upstairs neighbor. How do I respond? Do I need to move? Oh, and last night was another night with Commando Boy. Swoon. But I didn't think we were loud.....

Hi [ABBAKiss],

I need to let you know that I could hear everything last night. Unfortunately our walls are thin and I am a light sleeper. So I heard much more than I really ever want to hear. I can also hear your piano playing at 2:30am and when you come home with friends at 2am and party at your place. I wish I could sleep through anything, but I can't and I obviously need more sleep than you do. I'm not sure how you do it. We both have different lives and schedules, but we need to be able to live in the same building. So, I hope that this can be worked out and that you will just be aware that our walls are very thin.

[Upstairs Neighbor]

All you can do is apologize and then start looking for a new condo. Or only fuck at Commando Boy's place. I live in a condo and if I had a neighbor who played the piano at 2:30 in the morning, I would fucking kill her. You are lucky this lady is so nice.

greatwhitenorthchick · 04-13-2005, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Yes.

Has she tried earplugs? I wear earplugs to sleep most of the time b/c of the traffic outside my window and they work like a charm.

bold_n_brazen · 04-13-2005, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by barely_legal
All you can do is apologize and then start looking for a new condo. Or only fuck at Commando Boy's place. I live in a condo and if I had a neighbor who played the piano at 2:30 in the morning, I would fucking kill her. You are lucky this lady is so nice.

Before you buy a new place, you might consider consulting with an architect or interior designer to find out if there is some product or treatment that can be applied to your walls/ceilings to sort of sound-proof your place.

I'm thinking upholstering the walls and ceiling of your bedroom might work, and might also look really fucking cool. It could also make it look like a padded cell, so I think you need to consult a professional.

And stop playing the piano at 2:30.