Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
You wound me.

I thought you and Hank were an item, even though he's been temporarily suspended for assholosity on politics.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You should name your child Sebastian.
Actually, I like the name Sebastian, and my wife even seemed to think that it would be a good name for a son.

When my wife became pregnant, she sternly dictated:

"If it's a boy, no fag names."

[soup sandwich]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
When my wife became pregnant, she sternly dictated:

"If it's a boy, no fag names."

My wife and I have had the following conversation:

Wife: How do you like the name "Cooper" for a boy?
Me: Cooper's not a bad name, but why not just name him Faggy McFaggot instead?

[SlaveNoMore]

sebastian_dangerfield
The pregnancy one is the best of the three. There's a Palm in Philly thats always packed full of jackasses who fancy themselves as imprtant "players" with a hidden bar right next to the serving area for the buddy with the video camera. I can even see the exact table I'd use. Dead center... can be seen perfectly from every other table.

Their food's overrated shit anyway. Its worth the lifetime ban.

Dude, go down to the TGIFridays in West Chester on any given weekend and you'll see plenty of real pregnant women "acting" out your skit.

Nary raises an eyebrow.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
When my wife became pregnant, she sternly dictated:

"If it's a boy, no fag names."

2. I told Atticus' wife to tell him he can't give my son any sissy names.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by soup sandwich
My wife and I have had the following conversation:

Wife: How do you like the name "Cooper" for a boy?
Me: Cooper's not a bad name, but why not just name him Faggy McFaggot instead?

I like it.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I thought you and Hank were an item, even though he's been temporarily suspended for assholosity on politics.

I can't decide if that's adding insult to injury, or injury to insult. In any event, it's salt in the prior wound.

No way. He calls me ugly all the time.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I can't decide if that's adding insult to injury, or injury to insult. In any event, it's salt in the prior wound.

No way. He calls me ugly all the time.

I thought he just did that to convince himself that he's in your league.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have always wanted to do a few skits and get them on videotape. One would be to saunter into an airport bar in a Captain’s uniform, slug down five or six drinks, start slurring and acting surly and make a scene, then look at my watch, scream “Fuck! My flight!” and run out the door, videotaping the patrons left behind. The other would be to assemble a group of friends in a hotel suite, put plastic tarp all over the floor, dress the friends in butcher uniforms and one guy in janitor-type uniform (all wearing surgical masks) and then call some seedy strippers to the room, videotaping their horrified reactions when they enter the scene (Yes, I realize that one is a tad sick, but it’d be pretty comical). Now, you have given me a great idea. I’d get a female friend to wear a fake pregnancy costume and accompany me to dinner at a center table at a very upscale restaurant, where she would proceed to get scandalously falling down loud and obnoxious drunk. A buddy at the bar would videotape the horrified reactions of the patrons.

I love you - you’ve rounded out my pitch. Of course, royalties will be paid to you.

Those are really, really funny. I will provide you with the camera, or the financial backing.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have always wanted to do a few skits and get them on videotape. One would be to saunter into an airport bar in a Captain’s uniform, slug down five or six drinks, start slurring and acting surly and make a scene, then look at my watch, scream “Fuck! My flight!” and run out the door, videotaping the patrons left behind.

Done (and much better too) by The Man Show.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The other would be to assemble a group of friends in a hotel suite, put plastic tarp all over the floor, dress the friends in butcher uniforms and one guy in janitor-type uniform (all wearing surgical masks) and then call some seedy strippers to the room, videotaping their horrified reactions when they enter the scene (Yes, I realize that one is a tad sick, but it’d be pretty comical).

Done in the opposite direction on Reno 911 (put a "dead" stripper and a bunch of blood in bed with passed-out partner).

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Now, you have given me a great idea. I’d get a female friend to wear a fake pregnancy costume and accompany me to dinner at a center table at a very upscale restaurant, where she would proceed to get scandalously falling down loud and obnoxious drunk. A buddy at the bar would videotape the horrified reactions of the patrons.

Been done so many times I can't even remember an exact reference.

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Those are really, really funny. I will provide you with the camera, or the financial backing.

I'll be the pregnant lady.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
2. I told Atticus' wife to tell him he can't give my son any sissy names.

You should watch the Palo Alto City Confidential episode on A&E. I don't want to out Atticus or anything, but your scenario might have already played out here.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
He was doing the talk-to-people-in-a-food-court thing that Leno does to such non-comedic effect. Corolla did not do it any funnier than Leno.

That is simply unpossible.

TM

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by dtb
I'll be the pregnant lady.

Off my new corner, ho.

Good lord, it's only been a few hours and yet again, you cannot restraing yourself from moving in on my man.

[dtb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Off my new corner, ho.

Good lord, it's only been a few hours and yet again, you cannot restraing yourself from moving in on my man.

Duh -- you can't be the pregnant lady -- you ARE the pregnant lady.

Far be it from me to poach your internet boyfriend. That is a sacred bond.