General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[OscarCrease]

On the subject of having 3 or more kids. What do you drive? We have 3 kids and have a minivan (which I'm not afraid to admit I love). I thought about finally getting rid of the gas guzzling giant SUV that is our second car but am running into the problem that all of the wagons (Outback, Audi, Volvo) can't quite handle three car seats across the middle (kids are all under 5) and most of the modest sized SUV's (4Runner, V90, etc) if they do have third row seating the third row is pressed against the back window so that getting rear ended seems really scary. At this point I'm thinking I need to hope that my kids grow into booster seats before the car dies (it's at 120K which I'm told in the world of Chevrolets means it's knocking on death's door). I can't really wrap my head around having a car that can't actually fit the whole family even if they primarly ride in the van. Any ideas?

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by OscarCrease
On the subject of having 3 or more kids. What do you drive? We have 3 kids and have a minivan (which I'm not afraid to admit I love). I thought about finally getting rid of the gas guzzling giant SUV that is our second car but am running into the problem that all of the wagons (Outback, Audi, Volvo) can't quite handle three car seats across the middle (kids are all under 5) and most of the modest sized SUV's (4Runner, V90, etc) if they do have third row seating the third row is pressed against the back window so that getting rear ended seems really scary. At this point I'm thinking I need to hope that my kids grow into booster seats before the car dies (it's at 120K which I'm told in the world of Chevrolets means it's knocking on death's door). I can't really wrap my head around having a car that can't actually fit the whole family even if they primarly ride in the van. Any ideas?

I don't understand the need to have two cars that each can accomodate the entire family. I think this is a new expectation. Most of my grade school peers had at least three kids in their respective fams, and only Mom's car was able to accomodate them (this was in the days before minivans, natch) and no one ever saw this as a problem. Riding in Dad's car was considered a rare treat.

Obviously family dynamics have changed since 1977 --- lord knows the length of time in which you're required to be in some kind of safety seat has risen with time --- but my image is that every family has (1) a family car and (2) a sedan/roadster. Get a Mini or CLK depending on your budget.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I don't understand the need to have two cars that each can accomodate the entire family. I think this is a new expectation. Most of my grade school peers had at least three kids in their respective fams, and only Mom's car was able to accomodate them (this was in the days before minivans, natch) and no one ever saw this as a problem. Riding in Dad's car was considered a rare treat.

Obviously family dynamics have changed since 1977 --- lord knows the length of time in which you're required to be in some kind of safety seat has risen with time --- but my image is that every family has (1) a family car and (2) a sedan/roadster. Get a Mini or CLK depending on your budget.

I wish someone had told me this before I sold my sportier coupe for a slow SUV. THANKS A LOT ATTICUS.

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I don't understand the need to have two cars that each can accomodate the entire family.

We don't. We have a pickup that is not appropriate for babies at any time and a Camry. Boring, huh? The Ford is getting elderly, so it will be replaced soon, but we're not sure what with. We hope to have more than 2 kids, so the replacement vehicle may try to accomodate that or we may just put one of the kids in the trunk with a bunch of pillows.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
We don't. We have a pickup that is not appropriate for babies at any time and a Camry. Boring, huh? The Ford is getting elderly, so it will be replaced soon, but we're not sure what with. We hope to have more than 2 kids, so the replacement vehicle may try to accomodate that or we may just put one of the kids in the trunk with a bunch of pillows.

Much as I hate to say it, get a minivan even if you're planning to stay at 2. When we upgraded to 2 we considered a minivan but the wife vetoed on the basis of the allegedly diminished MILFedness of minivan drivers. So we got a wagon, which we like, BUT THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH FUCKING ROOM. We can't do things like drive friends to the airport etc. without it being a major production. I wish I'd held out for the minivan. Vanity of vanities; all is vanity!

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I don't understand the need to have two cars that each can accomodate the entire family. I think this is a new expectation. Most of my grade school peers had at least three kids in their respective fams, and only Mom's car was able to accomodate them (this was in the days before minivans, natch) and no one ever saw this as a problem. Riding in Dad's car was considered a rare treat.

Obviously family dynamics have changed since 1977 --- lord knows the length of time in which you're required to be in some kind of safety seat has risen with time --- but my image is that every family has (1) a family car and (2) a sedan/roadster. Get a Mini or CLK depending on your budget.

Far be it from me to criticize the Grinchish family values, but in some families childcare isn't entirely the wife's domain, and thus each spouse needs a car that can accommodate the kids.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Far be it from me to criticize the Grinchish family values, but in some families childcare isn't entirely the wife's domain, and thus each spouse needs a car that can accommodate the kids.

2. Atticus why don't YOU get the minivan. The girlies will love you- it shows you go all the way NOALWTALW.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Far be it from me to criticize the Grinchish family values, but in some families childcare isn't entirely the wife's domain, and thus each spouse needs a car that can accommodate the kids.

Understood. I tried to be gender neutral except when describing my experience in the '70s, where it was definitely moms in the big car. The behemoth can follow the kids on any particular day, but IMHO it's possible to avoid having 2 SUVs or two minivans if you really want to.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Understood. I tried to be gender neutral except when describing my experience in the '70s, where it was definitely moms in the big car. The behemoth can follow the kids on any particular day, but IMHO it's possible to avoid having 2 SUVs or two minivans if you really want to.

How do you do this if you have one parent dropping off in the morning and the other parent picking up in the afternoon?

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
How do you do this if you have one parent dropping off in the morning and the other parent picking up in the afternoon?

Give people some fucking credit. Obviously, my advice wouldn't apply to someone who ALREADY KNOWS THEY NEED TWO CARS THAT EACH CAN ACCOMODATE 100% OF THEIR KIDS IN CARSEATS. But such a person would not ask a board full of anonymous lawyers, "Do I really need two cars that each can accomodate all of my kids?" I interpreted OscarCrease's original question to be WHETHER it's possible to get by with two cars, one of which can't hold all the kids. I pointed out that every car-owning generation prior to this one has found the answer to be "yes." The modern families for whom the answer is "no" already know who they are.

Fringey, you know I heart you to pieces, but jeebus.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Give people some fucking credit. Obviously, my advice wouldn't apply to someone who ALREADY KNOWS THEY NEED TWO CARS THAT EACH CAN ACCOMODATE 100% OF THEIR KIDS IN CARSEATS. But such a person would not ask a board full of anonymous lawyers, "Do I really need two cars that each can accomodate all of my kids?" I interpreted OscarCrease's original question to be WHETHER it's possible to get by with two cars, one of which can't hold all the kids. I pointed out that every car-owning generation prior to this one has found the answer to be "yes." The modern families for whom the answer is "no" already know who they are.

Fringey, you know I heart you to pieces, but jeebus.

You didn't do well in reading comprehension on the LSAt, did you? Oscar asked for car recs, not affirmation of need. Your taking the stance of knowing what all familys need might be a little bit pompous, no? And wouldn't buying a car that won't hold the children guarentee that he wouldn't have to pick up or drop off until the lease expires? It just seems to me that buying a vehicle that forces his spouse to stay in the role of sole child transport is a bit passive-aggressive. you vote Republican, don't you?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You didn't do well in reading comprehension on the LSAt, did you? Oscar asked for car recs, not affirmation of need. Your taking the stance of knowing what all familys need might be a little bit pompous, no? And wouldn't buying a car that won't hold the children guarentee that he wouldn't have to pick up or drop off until the lease expires? It just seems to me that buying a vehicle that forces his spouse to stay in the role of sole child transport is a bit passive-aggressive. you vote Republican, don't you?

2, other than the R part. You and Sidd are close, yes?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by OscarCrease
At this point I'm thinking I need to hope that my kids grow into booster seats before the car dies (it's at 120K which I'm told in the world of Chevrolets means it's knocking on death's door). I can't really wrap my head around having a car that can't actually fit the whole family even if they primarly ride in the van. Any ideas?

I've driven Suburbans that had over 750,000 miles on them and they still worked perfectly. Even the power mirrors were still functional and those things never last. I wouldn't worry about your current beast yet unless it's already showing signs of imminent death.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You didn't do well in reading comprehension on the LSAt, did you? Oscar asked for car recs, not affirmation of need.

I interpreted "I can't really wrap my head around having a car that can't actually fit the whole family even if they primarly ride in the van. Any ideas?" to invite the response I gave, to wit, "My idea is to wrap your head around having a car that can't actually fit the whole family."

It used to be that conservatives were the ones in the business of telling people non-affirming things that they didn't want to hear.

Your taking the stance of knowing what all familys need might be a little bit pompous, no?

Which is precisely why I explained that I assumed the way he asked his question meant he was potentially receptive to my response. Not all families can swing this; my point (which remains lost on you) is that some families can, and he should consider whether he belongs to one of them. That you, or Fringey, or Ty, or frankly anyone, is a member of a family that cannot does nothing to either (1) defeat my point or (2) make my point somehow sexist or pompous.

And wouldn't buying a car that won't hold the children guarentee that he wouldn't have to pick up or drop off until the lease expires? It just seems to me that buying a vehicle that forces his spouse to stay in the role of sole child transport is a bit passive-aggressive. you vote Republican, don't you?

Frankly, no. I reiterate: There are families that somehow manage to arrange to have productive lives with only one car that can fit ALL of the kids at once. I cannot think of any that have two minivans, and precious few with two SUVs. Why is that controversial? Is SF the only place on the planet where one family member can drive a Prius without reducing the other to domestic slave or houseboy?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
make my point somehow sexist or pompous.

Please. It was quite clear where you were coming from. Your wife should be barefoot and pregnant, except when required to wear shoes so as to drive the family truckster to pick up the fruit of your loins. Meanwhile, you'll be out in the Z4, having a blast.