Toronto Trim's Hotel Cum Drop-in Centre

[Nut Case, Sensitive]

Originally posted by Iron Steve
Aren't you my sock!?!?!?

Nuts?

Trees??

Sod!

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I spent two days reading while sprawled out under the sun this weekend. I'm at the tender red stage right before I turn golden brown.

Please post a picture of your tan lines or lack thereof.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I think that you owe a person you've been with a while a discussion of issues and attempted resolution before you just get the fuck out.

Why? If it's over in your head, you are just leading the other person on if you act like it's not over.

Other than that, I sort of almost agree with most of your post.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by mmm3587


This reminds me: whatever happened with all that F. Lee Bailey stuff? Did he do any time? Get disbarred?

He was certainly disbarred. Was he up on criminal charges, or just some sort of civil fraud/embezzlement charge? I thought he went to jail for contempt of court, not actual criminal convictions.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Why? If it's over in your head, you are just leading the other person on if you act like it's not over.

Other than that, I sort of almost agree with most of your post.

I just don't think that it's cool to break up with someone that you've been with for a while without having talked about the reason that you're breaking up with them. I reject the "people are either right or wrong for each other, and you've not going to change that, so I'm breaking up with you" breakup. It's childish and I would never be with a person who I thought would act like that.

What were her reasons? He's too caught up in himself and she doesn't like being around him? First of all, it was immature to let that fester until it made her want to break up with him. If she felt that way, she should have discussed it and tried to understand and change the things in her and him that made that be the case. It's different if it was just a dalliance, but didn't she talk about him and his lunchboxes and truck and all that other stuff all the time?

Maybe I just see things differently as a serial monogamist who would never get married unless he was as sure as he could be about permanence. I've had relationships longer than many of my friends' marriages, and there's never been any violence or destruction of property in the breakups.

[pony_trekker]

I just got this Seamless Web email:

Enjoy SeamlessWeb at the office?

Try SeamlessWeb At Home (and we'll pick up the tip!)

If you order delivery food in Manhattan, you can now enjoy SeamlessWeb while lying on your couch with your feet up - thanks to SeamlessWeb At Home.

As a special thanks to loyal corporate members like you, SeamlessWeb will discount your first 5 orders by the average tip given on SeamlessWeb-- 12.85%.

I never use the service, preferring to scrape mold off of old cheese in the fridge when I am working late but: Is it possible that some of you are such cheap fucking bastards that the average tip is less than 13%? Christ, no wonder it costs so much to rent a box truck in San Diego with a NY dropoff.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by mmm3587
2, who the fuck is destroying passports of their ex-lovers? I don't think that I would ever date someone I thought would get all apeshit on me after the fact, including destroying proprerty, calling or e-mailing people (including work contacts) or having knock-down/drag-out arguments in public or any sort of physical violence.

Similarly, hasn't she been with this guy awhile? I think that you owe a person you've been with a while a discussion of issues and attempted resolution before you just get the fuck out. Get your passport and other important stuff during that period. If he was out of the country for three months and she had a key to his place and was gonna break up with him when he came back, why didn't she address possessions-related issues when he was shitting in the snow four miles above the Earth?

Finally, I think the fact that he gave her a key with the intent that she use it means that she has both implied and express consent to enter his apartment using that key, even if the reason is to get her shit so that she can break up with him, or because she has already broken up with him.

I hate to answer this seriously, but I will. I wasn't planning on dumping him while he was gone. I missed him, but I did have a lovely time with friends and doing things i hadn't had time for when he was here. As soon as he got back, a lot of the things that bothered me before were magnified. Everyone around me noted that my personality went downhill upon his return and he did a couple shit bag things you just don't do to someone that you've been with two years who has been taking care of your mail and paying your bills while you're off climbing mountains....for example, cancelling a weekend getaway we had planned because he wanted to go golfing instead. I realized quickly this wasn't how I wanted to spend the rest of my life and at least for me, once that realization hits, I'd rather get to the rest of my life sooner rather than later. Normally, he's a pretty mellow guy but the bailing on him so he'd have to explain to all his friends and family coming into town that we'd broken up really hit a nerve. But I just wasn't up for "faking it" for a weeken and answering questions form grandma on when we were getting married...he thought I owed him one last command performance and I thought opposite. He probably wouldn't have torched my passport, but he probably would ahve made it a real PITA for me to get and was definitely capable of destroying my passport, IMO...so there you have it.
Good enough?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I just don't think that it's cool to break up with someone that you've been with for a while without having talked about the reason that you're breaking up with them.

Fine, neither do I. That's not what you initially posted.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by mmm3587
... would never get married unless he was as sure as he could be about permanence.

Uh, I can't speak for everyone but I sincerely doubt that oodles of people say "I do" thinking that there is little or no chance of permanence. This is a short sighted thing for you to have said.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I missed him, but I did have a lovely time with friends and doing things i hadn't had time for when he was here. ....for example, cancelling a weekend getaway we had planned because he wanted to go golfing instead.
Good enough?

Fuck him. He is a shit. I hope you at least fucked some of his friends while he was away. If not, you should have. or should now.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I just don't think that it's cool to break up with someone that you've been with for a while without having talked about the reason that you're breaking up with them. I reject the "people are either right or wrong for each other, and you've not going to change that, so I'm breaking up with you" breakup. It's childish and I would never be with a person who I thought would act like that.

What were her reasons? He's too caught up in himself and she doesn't like being around him? First of all, it was immature to let that fester until it made her want to break up with him. If she felt that way, she should have discussed it and tried to understand and change the things in her and him that made that be the case. It's different if it was just a dalliance, but didn't she talk about him and his lunchboxes and truck and all that other stuff all the time?

Maybe I just see things differently as a serial monogamist who would never get married unless he was as sure as he could be about permanence. I've had relationships longer than many of my friends' marriages, and there's never been any violence or destruction of property in the breakups.

Sometimes things change and there's really no explanation or, more importantly, anything the other person can do about it. Giving an opportunty for the other person to magically change his or her behavior seems like giving false hope to me.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Uh, I can't speak for everyone but I sincerely doubt that oodles of people say "I do" thinking that there is little or no chance of permanence. This is a short sighted thing for you to have said.

Yes. Those people say "um, okay" or "yeah, sure," rather than "I do."

[Iron Steve]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
As soon as he got back, a lot of the things that bothered me before were magnified. Everyone around me noted that my personality went downhill upon his return and he did a couple shit bag things you just don't do to someone that you've been with two years who has been taking care of your mail and paying your bills while you're off climbing mountains....for example, cancelling a weekend getaway we had planned because he wanted to go golfing instead. ?

In the fair warning department, triathletes are really self-centered. In good way.

Originally posted by sunnybunny
...he thought I owed him one last command performance....... He probably wouldn't have torched my passport, but he probably would ahve made it a real PITA for me....

Was "passport" a literal or figurative reference?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Sometimes things change and there's really no explanation or, more importantly, anything the other person can do about it. Giving an opportunty for the other person to magically change his or her behavior seems like giving false hope to me.

sure, but weren't they together for a few years? the guy is just back from an extremely intense few months. I would think you should see how he is a few months after he gets back before deciding to dump his ass.

Example: a friend sailed across the Atlantic with 2 other guys. For several weeks it was just the three of them. For the first few weeks after he got back, he couldn't deal with crowds. He go to parties and we'd find him sitting alone in the yard- he had been pretty social, so it was wierd. turns out he just had to ease back into being with people. After a bit he was the same as he had been.

Lunchbox boy had just gotten back from a trek where he frequently could have died at any moment. For weeks (months?) he was with a small group enduring physical hardship.

He came back to civilization and make a few selfish choices? I think there is a chance that might have been transient behavior. OTOH, someone who would climb Mt. everst is probably so into themselves as to be bad boyfriend material, but that would have been true from the start.

I'm just saying he might change back to the same acceptable level of selfishness if given time.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Sometimes things change and there's really no explanation or, more importantly, anything the other person can do about it.

And somewhere in houston, Oscar is working on some other woman's street.