Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by SEC_Chick
Anyone else watching the show about newlyweds Jessica Simpson and her oy band husband (Nick??? I sure ABBA will know).

After reading Abba's response, I realized you meant b oy band. For a minute there, I thought Jessica Simpson had married some tatooed skinhead from an oi band. That would have been much more interesting.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by SEC_Chick
her oy band husband

Oy band is my new name for all those New Kids/Menudo knock-offs. Kind of descriptive of how I feel about them. So thanks SEC Chick!

[dtb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Oy band is my new name for all those New Kids/Menudo knock-offs.

I thought Oy bands was another name for Klezmer musicians.







b'dum bum, tssssssss

Thanks, I'll be here all week...

(But not next week, because I'm goin' on VACATION!!!)

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Now I'm beginning to question whether I ever really was, in fact, on my game, or whether I am just looking at the past with scotch-colored glasses.

Ah, you are brazenly taking credit for the hard work of others. This is good. Plagiarism is in. You are well on your way.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I was saying that the Episcopalian (or Baptist, or Methodist) person was performing the ceremony, but the ceremony was not in a church. So is it a religious ceremony deserving of the respect of covered shoulders, or is it a non-religious ceremony to which I can wear my pretty dress?

Uncle. If you have an evening wedding presided over by a man or womyn of God outdoors or in a private residence, I will not vomit with rage into the ficus planters if you have bare shoulders. This does not apply if the wedding ceremony is a Eucharist, no matter where it occurs. You may not have bare shoulders at a ritual eucharistic meal, whether you're a memorialist or a transubstantiationist.*

*You really don't want me vomiting into the ficus planters if you're a transubstantiationist. After all, I might puke up a beard and sandals.

[str8outavannuys]

Q: What types of non-sporting events do you bet on? We recently attended a wedding in Atlantic City, and had the following lines in play:

Number of bridesmaids: +/- 6

Number of ice sculptures: +/- 3

Length of church service: +/- 45 minutes

Time when first drunk guest makes a fool out of themselves: +/- 9.30 p.m.

Any ideas for other events? -- Mike K., Philadelphia

SG: You came to the right place. I've attended so many weddings over the past 10 years, they've all merged together into some sort of drunken haze. And let's face it: Every wedding is pretty much the same. By the time you hit your late-'20s, you could care less about who's getting married; you only want a fast ceremony, an open bar, and a cool balcony or deck outside where everyone can smoke butts.

So sprucing the festivities up with gambling. ... I mean, that's inspired genius. Let's assume that we're working with a 5 p.m. wedding ceremony, just for the sake of accuracy. Here are some other things you could gamble on:

1. Quality of the best man's toast vs. quality of the cake (even odds): This one could be especially fun if you wagered heavily on the best man, then he choked in his speech, and you wanted to kill him afterward. And yes, few things in life are more enjoyable than someone screwing up a best man's speech. I can't believe somebody hasn't turned "Worst Best Man Speeches" into its own TV show yet.

2. Girl who catches the bouquet hooks up with the guy who catches the garter (10-1 odds): I've only been to one wedding where this ever happened, so the 10-1 odds seem generous here.

3. Groom's horny friend starts grinding on the dance floor with somebody's attractive cousin who isn't 21 yet (even odds): And somebody's mother is always horrified. You can usually see this one coming. As an aside, I was delighted when this exact scenario happened at my wedding. It was a dream come true.

4. Band plays "I Will Survive" (+/- 8:45pm): I hate this song. There's always that one girl on the dance floor who just broke up with someone and gets a little too into the lyrics. Calm down, honey.

5. Token slutty bridesmaid goes after a waiter, band member, or any friend of the groom attending the wedding without his girlfriend (wager $400 to win $100): Easy money. When you mix the emotions of "I'm sad because my friend's getting married and I'm still single" with "I'm horny and drunk" and "Everyone looks good because we're all dressed up," just about anything's possible. They probably can't make these odds high enough.

6. Groom cries or faints during the wedding ceremony (3-1 odds): And here's the worst thing: You can't really make fun of them afterward. It was too big of a moment. So you might as well wager on it.

7. Puking or fisticuffs during the reception (10-1 odds): Although these odds drop to 3-1 in the general Boston area.

8. The Mother-Groom dance is "You Look Wonderful Tonight" (20-1 odds): We needed a long-shot wager on here. Imagine the excitement if you had 20-1 on Clapton and those first few seconds of the song started playing.

9. Fat guys dancing without their jackets and sweatstains under their arms (+/- 2.5): Another great part about weddings. Huge, sweeping sweatstains are always funny.

10. The token "couple who's been dating for three years and either need to get engaged or break up" have a huge blowout during the wedding reception (even odds): Not good times. Uh-oh ... I'm having flashbacks ...

And the ultimate long-shot bet...

11. Wedding called off at last minute (50-1 odds): It's dark, it's evil ... but a $10 bet wins you $500. More than enough to pay for your tux.

[W.W.L.D.]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Oy band is my new name for all those New Kids/Menudo knock-offs. Kind of descriptive of how I feel about them. So thanks SEC Chick!

"Oy" is slang for "dude" in some parts of this country.

I have never used this word.

[SlaveNoMore]

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
For a minute there, I thought Jessica Simpson had married some tatooed skinhead from an oi band. That would have been much more interesting.

Which reminds me of two things:

1) Recently got Romper Stomper on DVD. Such a great flick.

2) Saw some punker wearing a Plasmatics T-shirt yesterday. I wonder if our friend realized a cut of the profits.

not7yS

[SlaveNoMore]

str8outavannuys
2. Girl who catches the bouquet hooks up with the guy who catches the garter (10-1 odds): I've only been to one wedding where this ever happened, so the 10-1 odds seem generous here.

I've actually done this once.

And as I've caught 9 garters in my life, this guy's odds are nearly spot on.

not7y(I hate that they killed this tradition)S

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Uncle.

that's all I want. Apparently. Judging by my recent posts.

[SlaveNoMore]

Seven of Nine

Might as well be. Precious little is left to the imagination around here. Worse, when they bend over (and let me tell you, they seem to bend over all the time), it's a veritable smorgasborg of little fleshy hussie-tattoos proudly displayed for all the world to see. It's a bit like watching the rejects from the B-grade porn world in their "summer casual" attire.

And although just about all of them have little roses on their ankles, on the small of their backs, or between their belly button and their hip, one in particular has a *giant* cat on her shoulder with the text "Naughty Kitty" scrawled above it.

Is the Borg hiring?

not7y(looking for a better view)S

[SlaveNoMore]

ABBAKiss
I didn't see the show but her husband is Nick Lachey, formerly of 98 degrees, now a solo act (though I couldn't tell you what he sings). He is way hot though. Somewhere hotter than Justin but less hot than Angelina.

And Jessica Simpson has really, really nice Cans.

not7yS

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by evenodds
I left a fantastic reality show off my list . . . American Choppers.

I've caught this a couple of times recently, and its a compelling show. I like that it's not pseudo-reality (to the extent any television show can really be reality - the Heisenberg Principle applies equally to people as to atomic particles).

But what I like the best about it is what it does to my over-educated lawyer prejudices. These guys build bikes. They look like they build bikes. They act like they build bikes. But they are very, very smart, very talented and shrewed businessmen. Shave of his 'stach, laser the tats and put him in an Armani, and the dad would be a dangerous guy in a boardroom.

[notcasesensitive]

Driving home I was reminded of what a nice coincidence it was that a car called Fiero was discontinued because of its tendency to catch fire.

That is all.

[W.W.L.D.]

Originally posted by baltassoc
But what I like the best about it is what it does to my over-educated lawyer prejudices. These guys build bikes. They look like they build bikes. They act like they build bikes. But they are very, very smart, very talented and shrewed businessmen. Shave of his 'stach, laser the tats and put him in an Armani, and the dad would be a dangerous guy in a boardroom.

I have not met many lawyers who I would dub "over-educated." This is a common fallacy that is self-supported by lawyers using an over-blown definition of "education."

You should get out a bit more often.

Edit: This is, of course, not a comment on your level of education, of which I know nothing.