Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[Anne Elk]

For those interested in my sister's dating life, no pee was exchanged during date 1, they just made out on the couch. Date #2 was on Sunday, more fooling around (after singing Jackson Browne songs together). She confessed that he saw her sexy underwear, but would not say how far they went.

According to her, they are both totally smitten with each other, and he is The One. I expect the wedding plans will develop as the week goes on.

The train wreck is barrelling along, gaining momentum.

[Not Me]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I recently found out that someone who was a mentor to me when I was younger (horse person), who has looked very sick for years and everyone always asks me "does X have the hiv" does, in fact have HIV, that he ignored treating for a long time and now is very sick to the extent that he can't do a lot of daily tasks anymore. So my question is, he didn't tell me himself, so I obviously can't call up and say "hey, I hear you've got AIDS, can I stop by cause I feel bad" but is there an appropriate way to stop by for a visit to someone you don't normally visit under such circumstances? Do I just stop by his farm out of the blue and say hello? he's always there. I could "just be in the neighborhood"? I'd think calling ahead (he never answers his phone) and saying I'd like to stop by sounds a little more akward than a "just passing through" but generally I'd consider that a bit rude.

Thoughts?

I would just call or send an e-mail or mail a card saying "I have been thinking about you lately and wanted to stop by for a visit to see how you are doing (or catch up with you or however you would tend to say that sort of thing)." Then add a few more sentences telling him what is going on in your life and inquiring about how he is doing, and all the usual pleasantries.

Sometimes people who are sick are afraid to contact others or ask for help because they don't want to be perceived as looking for sympathy or burdening others with their problems. He may welcome you approaching him first.

If he doesn't want the contact, he can just not respond. I don't think a phone call or an e-mail or a card in the mail is too intrusive.

[dtb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Well, was it a Clear Channel station? (they likey the wingnuts)

I'm not sure -- I just hit "scan" and that's the station it stopped on. I think it was a Dick Clark Top 40 show.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
(after singing Jackson Browne songs together).

That's just sick.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I totally agree. I hate talking on the phone, and when I am not feeling well I do not want to see people. Maybe send a note that just says "thinking of you" or find some article you think he would enjoy and enclose it.

He doesn't answer the phone because it's also the business line to the farm, so he always has the machine pick up. the awkwardness is this....he's my old horse trainer who found me one of my present horses. I left there to go to another trainer, who is 10 minutes away, so i'm always "in the neigborhood" but not necessarily always on his road. that's why the call ahead to me seems odd, but the "I was driving down the road and thought I'd say hello and see the old gang" would be nice. I saw him at a show in October and we talked a bit and he gave me a hug, but don't really talk regularly. Last time I called him was about a year ago. I was going to have my will made up and wanted to will one of my horses to him (the one he found) should something happen to me and wanted to make sure it was ok. He loves her and offered to buy her several times and was touched that I would want to give the horse to him, should something happen to me. But that was the last time we talked oh the phone. I guess I still should call ahead. I just seems so awkward and when I kept my horses there, it was a place I drove into every day and has lots of people coming and going every day.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
He doesn't answer the phone because it's also the business line to the farm, so he always has the machine pick up. the awkwardness is this....he's my old horse trainer who found me one of my present horses. I left there to go to another trainer, who is 10 minutes away, so i'm always "in the neigborhood" but not necessarily always on his road. that's why the call ahead to me seems odd, but the "I was driving down the road and thought I'd say hello and see the old gang" would be nice. I saw him at a show in October and we talked a bit and he gave me a hug, but don't really talk regularly. Last time I called him was about a year ago. I was going to have my will made up and wanted to will one of my horses to him (the one he found) should something happen to me and wanted to make sure it was ok. He loves her and offered to buy her several times and was touched that I would want to give the horse to him, should something happen to me. But that was the last time we talked oh the phone. I guess I still should call ahead. I just seems so awkward and when I kept my horses there, it was a place I drove into every day and has lots of people coming and going every day.

If you actually end up talking to him, maybe you shouldn't talk about wills. Just a suggestion.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by dtb
I'm not sure -- I just hit "scan" and that's the station it stopped on. I think it was a Dick Clark Top 40 show.

It would help if we knew the song or the artist. Ryan Seacrest's list is
Usher
Yeah

Britney Spears
Toxic

Maroon 5
This Love

Evanescence
My Immortal

Jessica Simpson
With You

Chingy
One Call Away

OutKast
The Way You Move

Linkin Park
Numb

Hilary Duff
Come Clean

J-Kwon
Tipsy

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
For those interested in my sister's dating life, no pee was exchanged during date 1, they just made out on the couch. Date #2 was on Sunday, more fooling around (after singing Jackson Browne songs together). She confessed that he saw her sexy underwear, but would not say how far they went.

According to her, they are both totally smitten with each other, and he is The One. I expect the wedding plans will develop as the week goes on.

The train wreck is barrelling along, gaining momentum.

Confidential to Anne: The only hope for salvaging this post is for you to go back and edit it to add a description of her "sexy" underwear and a description of his underwear.

[Dualit]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It would be really so incredibly helpful if you could break up with your SO and document having sex with these various famous men who are rumored to be gay. Just for the benefit of the board -- no need to go to the National Enquirer or anything. We trust you not to make stuff up.

Please?

My only "I slept with a [semi-]famous person" incident was years ago with a television reporter -- he's on in LA. Nathan Lane (*shudder*) gave crabs to a friend of mine. I see Ron Palillo (Horshack from "Welcome Back Kotter") periodically in the bars. I ran into John Spencer (from "The West Wing") in a piano bar in the Village, although some straight people hang out there, too, and he didn't hit on me.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by barely_legal
If you actually end up talking to him, maybe you shouldn't talk about wills. Just a suggestion.

Tell me about it. I'm going to ahve to redo my will, but I won't tell him that I'm cutting him out of it.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
(making out on the couch after singing Jackson Browne songs together).

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
That's just sick.

Oh, come on. Who hasn't hit a single (at least!) after listening to "Runnin on Empty" in the rumpus room?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Dualit
[lots of information about what is known now]

Yeah, look, unless it is about a celebrity whose sexual preference is debatable, I don't care. You need to go out and mee up with the Spellmans and Toms and Jameses of the world and let us know whether they were willing to let you have your wicked way with them.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
black is the new white

There goes my shot at a mentor.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I thought your cats were half siamese?

not to defend sebby, but one of the characteristics of the siamese cat is its tendency to be loquacious. this is a fact. ditto on its relative the burmese. and its loquanciousness can be seen as a sign of its intellignence.

exactly how many maine coons do you know who went to the bano outside the litterbox? bc if you are thinking of the one I am thinkging of, that cat was telling its owner, hey stop abandoinging me for twelve days out of the month.

We have this big dumb Anna Nicole Smith-ish cat with shit for brains who eats nothing but dry crap and shits outside the litter all the time. She's really friendly and people like her, but in reality, if you know the damn cat, she's just dumb treat addicted lumox who knows that is she rolls around and purrs in front of people, she'll get more junk food. The Maine Coon is frighteningly smart. That fucker won't eat dry food even if its the only thing in the house, and he really digs sushi and lox, but he never jumps in your face and tries to take either. He just sits on the table and politely stares at you. The cat's so frigging atractive that you can't help but reward him. The little bastard always winds up sucking down at least one piece of tuna nigiri. The fattie will chase a laser pen around the floor until she's dizzy and runs into a wall. The Maine Coon won't even look at the laser pen. He watches the lumox run around and you can almost see in his expression that he's thinking "What a fucking moron."

Based on what I see in my living room, Maine Coons are pretty damn smart.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Tell me about it. I'm going to ahve to redo my will, but I won't tell him that I'm cutting him out of it.

I'd like to cast a dissenting vote -- if you think of him as a mentor, you should definitely stop by while you are in his neighborhood.

People who are in his situation don't want to ask to people to visit. But lots of time they do want company. And if he doesn't, you'll know, and leave after a very brief visit.

Or he may have a friend or family member staying with him who would love a visit from one of his friends. If you find out that he has people staying with him, come by for a second visit with food, videos, books, etc.

From personal experience, I can tell you that it is appreciated. A few years ago, I had a relative who was dying at home under hospice care. When his friends came to visit, sometimes he was up for seeing them, sometimes he wasn't. But he was always happy to hear that a friend stopped by, and those of us who were there at his house also appreciated the visits.