Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

The safest place to put a restless tongue is your drink.

Tell that to MR.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dude, Audrey Hepburn? She's been dead longer than the average Starbucks latte jockey has been alive. What would you think if a chick told you you looked like James Dean? I'd check to see if she was wearing a girdle. Audrey Hepburn's a sex star to the false teeth set.

The safest place to put a restless tongue is your drink.

Actually, Sebby, I get Audrey Hepburn now and then. and Mia Farrow, and Nicole Kidman, esp around that time that movie came out when she wore the short wig. I used to get Darryl Hannah in the 80s, but no longer. Out of all of them, I would take Audrey Hepburn as the biggest compliment.


Translation: I'm extraordinarily hot

[Hank Chinaski]

aaarrrrghhh

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
A proper host knows that it is considered good manners to have an unopened bottle of peppermint schnapps on hand for guests, in the event that guests should like to freshen up after eating the host's ass.

I hope you keep that bottle hidden away from the drinkable liquor you serve to guests. Results could be disastrous if there is any 'backwash'.

"Hmmm, I didn't know Rumplemintz had flecks in it... I thought that was Goldschlager... Think I'll take a swig...."

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dude, Audrey Hepburn? She's been dead longer than the average Starbucks latte jockey has been alive. What would you think if a chick told you you looked like James Dean? I'd check to see if she was wearing a girdle. Audrey Hepburn's a sex star to the false teeth set.

The safest place to put a restless tongue is your drink.

Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of the 10 best movies ever made. And she was stunning in it.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Actually, Sebby, I get Audrey Hepburn now and then. and Mia Farrow, and Nicole Kidman, esp around that time that movie came out when she wore the short wig. I used to get Darryl Hannah in the 80s, but no longer. Out of all of them, I would take Audrey Hepburn as the biggest compliment.


Translation: I'm extraordinarily hot

See, I don't think AH looks anything like any of those other stars you mentioned.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of the 10 best movies ever made. And she was stunning in it.

George Peppard's only good work involved Mr. T.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
See, I don't think AH looks anything like any of those other stars you mentioned.

I'm a woman of 1000 faces.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Actually, Sebby, I get Audrey Hepburn now and then. and Mia Farrow, and Nicole Kidman, esp around that time that movie came out when she wore the short wig. I used to get Darryl Hannah in the 80s, but no longer. Out of all of them, I would take Audrey Hepburn as the biggest compliment.


Translation: I'm extraordinarily hot

Translation: Guys with bad lines love me.

TM

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Because I know you all are interested, I managed to keep my vow very easily last night and this is why.

Date was not very attractive - tall, not ugly, but strange habit of making a weird face once in a while. Also did not look me in the eye.

Conversation was painful. I was doing most of the question-asking and carrying the conversation. Then, he asked me what I like to do on the weekends. So I said that most weekends these days I box for several hours on Saturday morning and he says:

"Boxing? Really? that's so vulgar. Women shouldn't box. Especially pretty women that look like Audrey Hepburn. It's so vulgar."

So I just stared at him thinking wtf. And I said that I didn't think it was vulgar at all, and it's a lot of fun, and I enjoy it a lot and I'm into it.

Awkward silence.

Then he says, "So, you're from Canada?" and I asked him if he had ever been there. And he said that he had been to Mont-Tremblant, but it was so cold that he stayed in the hottub most of the time.

And by then I couldn't take it any more, and although I'm generally very sympathetic to people who don't like cold weather, I was pissed, so I said "hmm. Well, I'd much rather be vulgar than a big pussy who can't take the cold."

Then I said I had to go feed my cat. And I gave him $ for my drink and left.

That's 37 min of my life I'll never get back.

I admire that you can so quickly and bluntly end a date. I always feel sorry for the person and dull the pain they are causing with alcohol until its a proper date ending hour. I like your system.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Translation: Guys with bad lines love me.

TM

It mostly comes from women. and they are not trying to hit on me.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
George Peppard's only good work involved Mr. T.

? the two of those guys were carried by Dirk Benedict.

Originally posted by lo-berry
Makes sense, coffee's for closers.

It just occurs to me that you are chris.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Even I learned long ago that if you want to get laid, bag the lines. They never work. I think douches like this cat forget that to get any, you have to connect, and to connect, you have to put away the facade. Its fucked up. People spend so much time try to figure out how to get laid, not realizing that its all the figuring and overthinking that sinks them every time. And why the fuck would you want to be with somebody whom you'd tricked into believeing you were something you're not? It makes no sense... entirely self-defeating right out of the gate.

RP - I type fast. The English, it suffers as a result.

ETA - Yes, this is my pompous post of the day.

Douches like cats?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Douches like cats?

Douching your cat - $1,499.00 in reconstructive surgery to your hands.

Fantastic ice breaker hand bandages provide - priceless.