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Old 08-26-2003, 04:51 PM   #20341
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Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Size, shape, hairyness, reaction to water/cold. Whether the position one is sitting in is killing them; whether jeans he's wearing aren't giving him enough breathing room. Whether sitting bitch in the back seat of the car is causing him extreme pain b/c the other two guys have their legs spread so wide so THEIR balls can breathe.
Then here's a question...why do they have to be "adjusted" all the time. I am constantly hearing that they are not in the right place. And...this guy sitting next to me on the train the other day kept adjusting his. Like over and over and over and over again. Dude, stand up, take care of it and stop fidgeting.
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Old 08-26-2003, 04:52 PM   #20342
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Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
And the amount that they hang: one friend admits to his balls hanging VERY LOW (as his wife tells him). Also frequently discussed. "Oh, b/c your balls hang so low."
Everyone thinks it is so fucking cool to have low hanging balls, like they are all bad ass motherfucking cool fucking hombres with their low hanging balls or whatever. But that is because everyone does not realize that low hanging balls are just that much more prone to being lopped off by errant lawnmower blades and children running with scissors. But not Penske. My main man Penske likes to follow up his ultra-marathons with a frigid ice-water bath. Ain't nothing lopping his little buddies off, short of a botched tracheotomy.
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Old 08-26-2003, 04:53 PM   #20343
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Epiphany.

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Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I cannot believe I am saying this, but you're right. Although there may be a mean-spirited few who enjoy my patronizing barbs and cooler-than-thou schtick, the majority of posters on this board are here for affirmation, not bitter snipes. We share a community here and, though we may not know each others real names, we know each other's purity scores, whether an online algorithm thinks us male or female, and all sorts of other things thanks to infinite e-mode polls. Also, many of us have slept with others.

We post here when we are tired, or lonely, or need advice for a loved one or friend or even for ourselves. We post here because, deep down, we all seek the approval of our little virtual community. Indeed, even my cranky rants and condescending cut-downs are really nothing more than an attempt to be liked. Not too far below the surface of any of my posts, it is pretty clear that I want you to think I'm funny and I want you think I'm interesting. But I realize that I have been going about it the wrong way. I am like the kid on the playground who keeps going up to the girl on whom he has a crush and punching her in the arm, because he is too socially awkward to actually flirt. Well, after years of my self-idolization posts and impatient cut-downs, I think I am beginning to realize that I may have delivered a few too many cyber-punches to a few too many cyber-arms. And, although this may be a day late and a dollar short in a way that is both too little and too late, let me start to try to make things right by saying I'm sorry.
Oh, pretty! You know what else we used to do on the playground? We used to see bridge of love coming toward our boxball boxes and grab three of our best friends and say, "quick, I am serving, you guys get in here. that pussy, bridge of love is coming and man does he lack a sense of humor". Pretty, you may be the bully that everyone secretly fears and loaths, but at least you arent bridge of love, the biggest loser of them all. He moves to our town and joins our school, and without learning the ways of the FB, he starts slamming his locker and throwing his books around the hallway. Well, I am flunking him. Back to the newcomer board for him., til he is ready to graduate to the big school. By then, he will be the hairiest motherfucker in the second grade.
 
Old 08-26-2003, 04:56 PM   #20344
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by paigowprincess
repressed balls. the poor dears. [QUOTE]



Quote:
and i never heard taht term, "bitch in the backseat". Is that redneck for sitting on the hump?
Not just mine. Everyone's get repressed at one time or another.

Yes.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:02 PM   #20345
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[hiccup]
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:06 PM   #20346
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Everyone thinks it is so fucking cool to have low hanging balls, like they are all bad ass motherfucking cool fucking hombres with their low hanging balls or whatever. But that is because everyone does not realize that low hanging balls are just that much more prone to being lopped off by errant lawnmower blades and children running with scissors. But not Penske. My main man Penske likes to follow up his ultra-marathons with a frigid ice-water bath. Ain't nothing lopping his little buddies off, short of a botched tracheotomy.
Or a really forceful hiccup.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:08 PM   #20347
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pushy the Puppy
Dear Paigow,

Balls are filled with semen and sometimes make children even when it is an accident and you have to run out on the woman you claim to love in order to dodge your responsibilities as a father especially if the act of dodging your responsibilities as a father is something you would be infinitely more capable of doing than actually raising your own children. At least that is what my mother always told me when we talked about balls.

Love,
Pushy the Puppy

P.S., I miss you very much, Paigow.

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Dear admins. Can we please limit the font to "less fucking obnoxious?"


edited to add...yes, I know what's coming next.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:16 PM   #20348
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Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
hey, I used to TCB to chicks like that when I was 14").
Assertions like these require 9/5-type proof.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:27 PM   #20349
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Assertions like these require 9/5-type proof.
who are you salivating for?
 
Old 08-26-2003, 05:30 PM   #20350
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Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Dear admins. Can we please limit the font to "less fucking obnoxious?"
I am less irritated by Pushy's creative font use than by people continuing to quote entire posts -- with images!

So, no.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:32 PM   #20351
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Quote:
Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Not just mine. Everyone's get repressed at one time or another.
Repressed, recessed, tomato, tomahto.

Actually, on second thought, getting repressed would probably hurt like hell, given how much just getting pressed smarts.

Yours,

Timmy

Yes this is a f-cking joke (YTIAFJ).
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:34 PM   #20352
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Things you have slurped.

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Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Is that "Two Buck Chuck" or is that the Four Dollar bottle of wine Chevy always tries to order when we go out? not7ys (confused)S
Don't you remember? I always brought you Thunderbird in a paper bag, and you'd pass out afterwards in a corner. At which point we'd rob you, leave you for dead, and go blow your money on strippers.

Those were the days.

Quote:
Originally posted by Sebastian Dangerfield
I have no idea whether men have soft pubes... I haven't gone down on a man since I was kicked out of being an altar boy for drinking holy wine.
Hmmmm. This demonstrates, quite powerfully, the important distinction between "since" and "because."

I think we all know which one Sebby meant.

CDF
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:35 PM   #20353
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Quote:
Originally posted by evenodds
I am less irritated by Pushy's creative font use than by people continuing to quote entire posts -- with images!

So, no.
I was just trying to make a point. The comment would not have sounded as snarky without the complete post with pictures.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:36 PM   #20354
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Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
who are you salivating for?
Not SD. anttwat
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:37 PM   #20355
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Things you have slurped.

Quote:
Originally posted by cheval de frise
Quote:
Originally posted by Sebastian Dangerfield
I have no idea whether men have soft pubes... I haven't gone down on a man since I was kicked out of being an altar boy for drinking holy wine.
Hmmmm. This demonstrates, quite powerfully, the important distinction between "since" and "because."

I think we all know which one Sebby meant.
He was using the temporal one. His priest was obviously a watcher and he only went down on other alter boys, who did not yet have secondary sexual characteristics.
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