Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
I've been on vacation.

Ah, vacation. I could really run with this, BUT . . .

I know all you lookie loos are dying for a more detailed account of ACL and now that I have had sufficient recovery time I am happy to oblige. Please understand that the views expressed in this post are mine alone and may not reflect the expreriences of other ACLers, reality, or the fine ACL promoters, who are probably too busy counting their money to read this board.

The ACL experience started a little early this year. RT and I met with e/o and her Band of Vampires (BOVs). We met at a chic restaurant/nightclub called [name not remembered] for Mexitinis, Dos Equis, Makers Mark, some coffee liqueur handed out by the friendly coffee liqueur promotions chick, and something red served in overly large Burgandy glasses. The BOVs were in fine form, providing many laughs and their hypnotic aura that seemed to attract chicks that boosted my self-esteem from being seen within 10 feet of them. During the riotous conversation with the BOVs, they announced that RT was a lesbian (or, in the alternative, that she and I are sleeping together), speculated and commented upon the probablity of my rib-eating Cherokee ancestry, and determined that one of them would marry RT's sister in order to lounge on the porch at the ranch while ice cream was hand-made for him by a crew of peasant Mexicans. The BOVs also discussed a friend of theirs, the Whiney Bitch, while he sat at the opposite end of the table, quietly whining and bitching.

We left, Cherokee war-whooping up Lavaca to go to [name not remembered]. The BOVs led us past the lines and through the velvet rope to a chic bar featuring nonintrusive techno music, minimalist interior design, and even more minimalist clothing on the unending stream of exceptional Texas beauties flowing through the door. My jaw was glued to the floor and this facilitated the hasty consumption of alcohol. We drank a bunch of things and a lot of them. One of the BOVs politely declined my offer of a krumping showdown, so I sat in the overstuffed chairs and took in the scenery which, in addition to the lovelies, included several current and former professional athletes and, I think, Billy Idol.

Next we went to [denomine no recordado], but didn't stay long because no one but RT knew how to salsa. The BOVs next war-whooped us through another velvet rope to [name not remembered], where things start to get really fuzzy for me, but I remember there being drinks and music. And I think there may have been dancing between cocktails made with what I recall as being Ketel One and Scope.

I was informed that e/o's sex dungeon was booked for the evening, so I somehow managed to be transported to Casa de Shifter. Was it a dream, or was there naked outdoor frolicking involving pecan branches and tilapia?

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Jump from about 1-2 feet up on to the ground. If you double over in more intense pain, get to the hospital right away. If the pain does not notably increase from the jump, it's probably not your appy but it still could be something bad, so you might as well go in.

(but note, getting healtcare advice from lawyers on the internet is even worse than seeking anonymous tax advice here).

the standing up to jump almost killed me, but the jump itself did not. I jsut called my doctor and they ahve no appointments today....i'm wondering whether I should go to the ER.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Were you born unfunny or did some life-changing event strip you of any humor you may have had?

TM

I've tried to debate this issue with you here, but through no fault of your's, no one can really argue with you about aethetics. I will simply note that several people here, who are objectively funny, think I'm funny.*

However, i am willing to acept the possible truth of your statement. Thus, unless I recieve 6 PM's from people I find funny telling me they find me funny, I will no longer try and post any attempts at humor on the FB. I will continue to engage in fish cooking/music/income tax talks, but limited to factual input.

If you are correct, you will have made a great stride towards improving this board. Notably the 17 posts so far today will be reduced to 14, minus my 1 and the 2 corrective criticisms.

*Unless I am the victim of a massive campaign to convince me to post more by people who hate my posts.

[tmdiva]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
About an hour ago i started to get a pain in my stomach so bad I feel like I want to die. What does an apendicitis feel like? Ulcer?

Where in your stomach? Appendix is lower right. Gall bladder is upper right. Stomach is upper left, mostly. Pancreas a little lower on the left. Ovaries just above the crease on either side. The middle of your stomach is mostly small intestine.

tm

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
the standing up to jump almost killed me, but the jump itself did not. I jsut called my doctor and they ahve no appointments today....i'm wondering whether I should go to the ER.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

Did you describe your symptoms to a nurse on the telephone at your doctor's office? Did they suggest you go to the ER?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you are without question the dumbest person I've ever known.

[Cliff Yablonski]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I've tried to debate this issue with you here, but through no fault of your's, no one can really argue with you about aethetics. I will simply note that several people here, who are objectively funny, think I'm funny.*

However, i am willing to acept the possible truth of your statement. Thus, unless I recieve 6 PM's from people I find funny telling me they find me funny, I will no longer try and post any attempts at humor on the FB. I will continue to engage in fish cooking/music/income tax talks, but limited to factual input.

If you are correct, you will have made a great stride towards improving this board. Notably the 17 posts so far today will be reduced to 14, minus my 1 and the 2 corrective criticisms.

*Unless I am the victim of a massive campaign to convince me to post more by people who hate my posts.

You two sound like a bunch of 7 year old Appleton City school boys comparing penis size. "Mine's bigger." "No, mine's bigger." Guess what, boys? You both have tiny wee wees and ...

[Cliff Yablonski]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You're fucking kidding me, right?

Did you describe your symptoms to a nurse on the telephone at your doctor's office? Did they suggest you go to the ER?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you are without question the dumbest person I've ever known.

Don't encourage her. We like it when stupid people die before they get a chance to breed.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by tmdiva
Where in your stomach? Appendix is lower right. Gall bladder is upper right. Stomach is upper left, mostly. Pancreas a little lower on the left. Ovaries just above the crease on either side. The middle of your stomach is mostly small intestine.

tm

Even on both sides and it starts at teh end of my rib cage and goes to about 2-3" past my navel. Area is about six inches wide from side to side. but i'm not very wide, so it's a pretty large area.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Even on both sides and it starts at teh end of my rib cage and goes to about 2-3" past my navel. Area is about six inches wide from side to side. but i'm not very wide, so it's a pretty large area.

Though perhaps a different example than the one I usually offer, let me use this occasion to reiterate my call for making Lawtalkers "web-cam-enabled."

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You're fucking kidding me, right?

Did you describe your symptoms to a nurse on the telephone at your doctor's office? Did they suggest you go to the ER?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you are without question the dumbest person I've ever known.

No, no, no -- there is a longstanding tradition of people seeking medical advice from their imaginary FB friends. Seriously.

I say we start a pool. And since I came up with the idea, I get first pick -- and I pick "gastroenteritis."

I hope you feel better soon, sunny. (And I hope I win the pool, too, but that is because I am a self-centered prick.)

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Not Bob
No, no, no -- there is a longstanding tradition of people seeking medical advice from their imaginary FB friends. Seriously.

I say we start a pool. And since I came up with the idea, I get first pick -- and I pick "gastroenteritis."

I hope you feel better soon, sunny. (And I hope I win the pool, too, but that is because I am a self-centered prick.)

I'm guessing she just got some bad horse meat.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
I'm guessing she just got some bad horse meat.

Like Catherine the Great?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I pick "gastroenteritis."

I hope you feel better soon, sunny. (And I hope I win the pool, too, but that is because I am a self-centered prick.)

Ecotopic pregnancy.

2.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Ecotopic pregnancy.

Those are so much better than the pregnancies that harm the environment.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You're fucking kidding me, right?

Did you describe your symptoms to a nurse on the telephone at your doctor's office? Did they suggest you go to the ER?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you are without question the dumbest person I've ever known.

Geez, way to kick a girl when she's down.

Does anyone else wonder how the bunny types when she's in so much pain? I'm thinking of the Castle Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh.