Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by ironweed
Law student with an unusual background, but still. Also refers to emself in the third person in the bit where everyone feels compelled to tell you what their interests are.

I automatically ding all summer associate candidates who feel that their accomplishments deserve two pieces of paper. The recruiting people get pissed sometimes when I write that on the evaluations, but I think it's important to have standards.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by ironweed
Law student with an unusual background, but still. Also refers to emself in the third person in the bit where everyone feels compelled to tell you what their interests are.

If you can't handle the bs-laden bullet points, don't go in-house ["in house"? dtb?].

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
This post has been dually endorsed by paigow and Coltrane:

[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=zing/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=11pf8id6d/EXP=1128012149/*-http%3A//www.pongman.com/irons/zing.jpg[/IMG]

My dear boy, if I had co-endorsed the post, which would have required reading it, I think it would have said "Ping! Zing. But I cannot endorse that kind of derivative drivel. I invented the breakfast whiff post.

Hasn't she spawned yet? I thought she and Britney were on the same cycle?

[SlaveNoMore]

ThurgreedMarshall
Translation: How weird is it that Viggo had a kid with Exene Cervenka?

What's next? Overuse of the word "surreal?"

TM

"Surreal" is so 2004. The hep kids all now use "phantasmagoric"

Originally posted by ironweed
I'm looking at a resume with bullet point "qualifications" at the top (e.g., "successful track record of blah blah blah" and "innovative strategic planner.") Does this impress anyone? Also the thing is two pages long. Probably a brilliant candidate but I'm annoyed already.

Maybe em will bring me a chocolate muffin.

My good man. The Two Page Resume is an automatic ding. Unless its from a recrutier who took over the job. Nah, still an automatic ding. One's accomplishments should speak for themselves.

I knew a gal who was a Two Pager (not including a Deal Sheet). There were paragraphs devoted to her internatinoal travels and multilingual adventures. She was widely despised and I weep for whoever ended up having to work with her.

If this is the same resume, please PM me immediately if not sooner.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Translation: I'm too old for the "husky" section.

TM

Is "husky" the new "bear"?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ironweed
Law student with an unusual background, but still. Also refers to emself in the third person in the bit where everyone feels compelled to tell you what their interests are.

We are Not Amused.

Seriously, when I get annoyed at resumes, I try to withhold judgment until the interview. Sometimes the annoying resumes are submitted by hot babes . . . uh, exceptionally well-qualified candidates, and they can overcome the annoyingness.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Translation: I often think of Weed's cock. MMMMMM. Weedcock. So delicious.

TM

Pathetic. It's sad, really. They say that in his day, Thurgreed was one of the best. His caustic wit and razor-sharp repartee kept the boards alive through many a dull k race or Paigow/Slave scratch-your-eyes-out-bitch marathon. And now, look at what's become of him. Hanging out at the Port Authority bus terminal, spewing out I'm-rubber-you're-glue retorts while he waits for his mama to throw him her castoffs.

I blame a life lived too long in the white-hot light of the wonder and the glory that are dtb and gwinky. No mere mortal could hold up in that rarified environment for too long.

Or perhaps it was his miserably failed attempt to carry off TMBD III. Once the people realized he couldn't deliver without the goodwill of the Betties, they smelled blood. When NFH declared the breasticle boycott, he was toast.

Oh well. Never let it be said that we don't take care of our own. I hereby pledge to fund Lawtalkers for a week for every photo of Thurgreed being fed a meal by a topless FBetty between now and Thanksgiving. Dig deep, people. Let's not let this tragicomic legend be lost forever.

Ladies, get out those crockpots and bare two for the Man Who Once Called Paigow Whackadoo.

Originally posted by ironweed
Law student with an unusual background, but still. Also refers to emself in the third person in the bit where everyone feels compelled to tell you what their interests are.

Example please! Is it like "paigow enjoys horseback riding, donating to PETA and flaming name droppers"

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by ironweed
Law student with an unusual background, but still. Also refers to emself in the third person in the bit where everyone feels compelled to tell you what their interests are.

That's horrible. I've always liked the "interests" section because it gives you something to talk about besides law. But the third person? I think that's almost an automatic no.

Unless she's hot.

ETA: Damnit, NotBob

Originally posted by Not Bob
We are Not Amused.

Seriously, when I get annoyed at resumes, I try to withhold judgment until the interview. Sometimes the annoying resumes are submitted by hot babes . . . uh, exceptionally well-qualified candidates, and they can overcome the annoyingness.

Not Bob, when is the last time a hot babe applied for a legal job in Podunkville?

Originally posted by taxwonk
Pathetic. It's sad, really. They say that in his day, Thurgreed was one of the best. His caustic wit and razor-sharp repartee kept the boards alive through many a dull k race or Paigow/Slave scratch-your-eyes-out-bitch marathon. And now, look at what's become of him. Hanging out at the Port Authority bus terminal, spewing out I'm-rubber-you're-glue retorts while he waits for his mama to throw him her castoffs.

I blame a life lived too long in the white-hot light of the wonder and the glory that are dtb and gwinky. No mere mortal could hold up in that rarified environment for too long.

Or perhaps it was his miserably failed attempt to carry off TMBD III. Once the people realized he couldn't deliver without the goodwill of the Betties, they smelled blood. When NFH declared the breasticle boycott, he was toast.

Oh well. Never let it be said that we don't take care of our own. I hereby pledge to fund Lawtalkers for a week for every photo of Thurgreed being fed a meal by a topless FBetty between now and Thanksgiving. Dig deep, people. Let's not let this tragicomic legend be lost forever.

Ladies, get out those crockpots and bare two for the Man Who Once Called Paigow Whackadoo.

Are you mad at me for calling you a leery old perv with a preggo fetish?

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Example please! Is it like "paigow enjoys horseback riding, donating to PETA and flaming name droppers"

Or is it like: "Mr. Man enoys eating stolen horsemeat with Burt Reynolds and all the many other famous people he knows"?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by taxwonk
I gave up trying to look hip at about 35. Past 40, looking hip is equal to looking pathetic. It's like the ponytail on the bald dude in his 50s or the 40-something Mom at the mall wearing the same pair of Juicy sweatpants and cropped t-shirt as her 14 y.o. daughter.

You should just end it all. I mean, really, whats the fucking point?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ironweed
Law student with an unusual background, but still. Also refers to emself in the third person in the bit where everyone feels compelled to tell you what their interests are.

Are you interviewing Bob Dole?*

* Who is an excellent dead pool choice.