General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

I found it extremely difficult to get anything done at home while LittleRitz was an infant (and even worse now that he's a toddler). He needed constant holding - I used my Baby Bjorn all of the time. For the "at home days," you might try a mommy's helper. In my area, there are several colleges and/or high schools that offer early childhood education programs. The students are required to obtain a certain amount of hours of childcare experience in order to complete their degree. They are generally screened by the school since the school's reputation is at stake. The hourly rate is significantly less than paying a nanny. Another suggestion might be to pay a neighborhood kid to come in for a few hours while you are there working.

As for daycare, my pediatrician claims that a child who attends library story hour, play group, Gymboree, a Sunday-only church daycare, etc., will get sick just as often if not more often (due to exposure to more people) than a child in a regular daycare. Little Ritz started daycare (three days per week) at about seven months. There were six children, including him, and two caregivers in his room. He was exposed to the same group of people every day and did not have lot of illnesses. He has actually picked up more things at play group than at daycare (I know because I've had those calls from mothers that go, "I'm really sorry but I just found out that Jr. had x and has probably exposed the whole play group. You may want to keep an eye on your child.") It is true that a child who is kept at home with absolutely no contact with other children will get sick less but then there might be social issues later on.

I really wouldn't worry about the daycare-illness issue. If its a good daycare, they will keep everything clean and disinfected and send home any child who has the slightest sign of an ailment.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
I am working on getting everything in order so I will be able to work from my home office a few days a week after the kid arrives. Thankfully I have no billable requirement (other than to rake in enough for the mortgage) since I am a free agent. I am figuring working maybe 3/4 of each day spent at home.

You're setting your expectations way too high and may wind up frustrated and disappointed. Unless you have a mother's helper, you'll be lucky to bill two hours a day for the first six weeks. Being a Mom is really hard work for the first two months. Newborns are parasitic and don't even have the decency to be cooperative. You're also not accounting for loss of sleep, which cuts into productivity big time.

I suggest that you plan on a six week hiatus from billable time from the delivery date, and then you set a highly optimistic goal of four hours of billable time per at-home day (at most) until the kid starts walking. Then, all bets are off.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
We have a very nice daycare within walking distance of the house which comes highly recommended - I just don't like the idea for an infant due to them getting sick all the time.

Almost forgot --- do not fear daycare. If you make life decisions based primarily on germ exposure, you'll miss out on a lot of good things. For example, you never would have conceived in the first place.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
You're setting your expectations way too high and may wind up frustrated and disappointed. Unless you have a mother's helper, you'll be lucky to bill two hours a day for the first six weeks

Agreed. baltspouse, who is also a lawyer, billed about eight hours total in the first two months after the baltspawns' arrival. Working at home without someone else to watch the baby is essentially impossible. Even when they settle down into a semi-regular nap schedule, there are so many other things that have to happen that will seem a higher priority than work (In rough order from baltspouse's experience: showering, washing bottles, doing kid laundry and picking up the mess. Sometimes none of these things happened in a given day until I got home form work.).

Realistically, once you've gotten the hang of things, I think you could expect to do as much as three hours of billable work a day on days that you have the kid to yourself. For more, you've got to have some help.

Originally posted by baltassoc
Agreed. baltspouse, who is also a lawyer, billed about eight hours total in the first two months after the baltspawns' arrival.

May I join the chorus here? There is absolutely no way you will be able to work more than an hour (at best) in a day at home with an newborn.

My second was an angel for the first 6 weeks and slept almost all the time - so I managed to get to the office with her in tow twice a week, and open mail, respond to phone messages, clear conflicts, etc. And that was a fairly heroic effort. It couldn't have been done with the first, who was far less obliging.

Needless to say every child is different, but the first couple months of breast feeding tend to be almost continuous. Prepare yourself to be nursing 45 minutes out of every two hours for a while. And let's be honest here - you can, with some difficulty - do a little work while nursing. But why cheat yourself out of one of life's great interactions?

Take a break. Relax with the baby, learn about each other, coax a smile (don't listen to those naysayers that it's only gas). Infancy seems hard when you are there, but it's heartrending when it's gone.

And a good nanny will save your life and make the world beautiful. I hired one when my first was an infant, and she stayed for 10 years. Expensive, but worth every penny.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Threads
And let's be honest here - you can, with some difficulty - do a little work while nursing.

Not working from first-hand knowledge here (obviously, as I don't lactate), but pretty accurate second-hand knowledge tells me that in the great and ruthless battle between the Baby Boppy and My Breast Friend nursing pillows --- brace yourself for irrational product loyalty here --- the MBF wins hands-down. It velcros around you, and you can carry the baby on a shelf around the house without losing the nipple latch.

The Boppy continues to be useful during the sitting-up phase, but the MBF is the winner when it comes to being mobile while nursing.*

*If this had been posted on the FB, it would have won All-time Most Boring, with one dissenting vote by lactation_lover.

After the first six weeks, you may actually get real work done at home, depending on the baby. Agree with all posters- breastfeeding in the first 6 weeks is relentless and you will get nothing done unless you can scan email with a baby on the breast (this can be done, but I only managed it with number two).

After that, you may or may not be ok- my second took two 3 hour naps a day for several months, which gave me some solid time; my first never would have let me get away with it. For a brief shining moment the baby is old enough to entertain emself for a half hour at a time and can't crawl or walk away, but that doesn't last long. Best, as others have said, not to get your expectations out of line.

Plus, don't cheat yourself of the opportunity to focus 100% on being a new mom for the first 4-6 weeks- I know it is harder if you are a freelancer and don't get the paid maternity leave, but it really is all-consuming at first, which can be a wonderful thing if you can let yourself be consumed and an awful thing if you ask too much of yourself during that period.

good luck!

Deleted - don't know why it posted 1/2 the message?

Thanks!

I should have added that I don't plan to do much for the first 6wks, so the working 3/4 time was what I was thinking for later. I have already reset pending trials until March or later, so I won't have to worry about them for now. Luckily, the first 6wks will include the holidays, so nothing much will be going on in the office anyway - wish I could say I planned that.

The only work I will probably be doing early on is taking care of the clients I have on a monthly retainer, but that is minimal and can be done in 30 minute spurts, while the Mr. deals with Jr. All my clients know about the kid and ask about him everytime they call, so they will all be very understanding about court delay and such.

Also, commuting takes up so much of my day right now, that simply working at home a couple days a week would free up about 2.5hrs a day, which is not an insubstantial chunk of unproductive time - I love Houston traffic! Eventually I plan to ditch the office I commute to in exchange for another one much closer to home, but since I don't get charged rent right now, I can hardly pass it up, despite the drive.

I like the idea of a mother's helper - even for a couple hours after the high school lets out would be enough to catch up on things. We don't have a maid right now, but I think we probably will break down and get one soon, which will lighten the load a little - either that or teach Mr. Lex to breastfed.

Thanks for everyone's input!

-TL

[MisterEbola]

Originally posted by TexLex
Thanks!

I should have added that I don't plan to do much for the first 6wks, so the working 3/4 time was what I was thinking for later. I have already reset pending trials until March or later, so I won't have to worry about them for now. Luckily, the first 6wks will include the holidays, so nothing much will be going on in the office anyway - wish I could say I planned that.

-TL

That should be the understatement of the year. Remembering to eat during the first couple weeks is a challenge. So to is showering.

[viet_mom]

Working at home without someone else to watch the baby is essentially impossible.

Okay, I am the work-at-home QUEEN here. Mostly these days it's because I'm so busy on the phone with clients very early and with agencies I work with, I find that by the time I come up for air from the initial phone calls and frantic emails back and forth with colleagues from our firm's offices in other states, it's 7 pm, I'm still in pajamas, haven't eaten, or even brought in the mail. So while I often *intend* to commute into work, I'm hitting the ground running with emails and calls so I never make it in with the commute. Hopefully, my colleagues don't think I'm home to play with Vietbabe or something (I don't think they could possibly think that with the level of emails and phone calls back and forth).

Okay, so clearly for that kind of work at home, you need someone either in the home, or using that day care near you. For times you are not so busy, I think back to when I wasn't as busy, and I still don't see how I could work from home without child care. If you're on the phone with a client (even for a short call) you don't want them hearing the baby in the background. And if you're alone at home, you'll be feeding, dressing her/him, changing diapers, washing their clothes, their bottles, and you'll need to run to the store a lot for stuff.

Even working from home, part time, I find I need full time help because I simply can't time client needs around a specific part time schedule. When I'm not working, I'm running to the store, playing with Vietbabe, making baby food, preparing for things, thank you notes, getting photos developed, and all the other chores, like picking up drycleaning, food shopping, etc. And don't forgot doctor's appointments etc.

I think what would be best is to get either in-house help like a Mother's Helper or Nanny or use that day care. If you are free for a few hours or even a full day -- then send the helper home, or have her do some shopping, or don't send the baby to the child care center that day.

You'll only know what you can handle until the little one arrives. I suspect you are going to want child care. You can only schlep the baby to the office so many times.

Now that I'll soon be back to part time now that my big project is almost over, I intend to keep the full time child care because I really can't time it when a client needs me (or colleague) or a project comes in and so I need to have someone there always. So yes, I have a part time salary myself, but pay a full time salary to the Nanny. But it suits me the best and on slow days I can go downstairs and play with Vietbabe, or sneak in a nap. In fact today, after working from 6 am in frantic high gear, I then slept from 2-5 pm today (so did Vietbabe AND the Nanny) and I woke up feeling like I can conquer the world and squired babe off to the pool for a fun-filled night and I had a lot of energy. Without my nap, she would have gotten a tired mommy and boring night of dinner and the usual play in the living room. Instead she's zonked out in the crib after a 3 hour swim with me tossing her around in the pool and eating popsicles.

If you are working part time, I'd say use part of the non-working time on being with the baby, and part of it doing things other than that, like fidditzing with your photo album, keeping in touch with friends and family and catching naps. I think the money is worth it. I feel like I'm a better Mom. I would say find the money to get full time help and only use it when you need it. It's not necessarily money down the drain. You'll feel less frantic and feel more able to both work and be a good/great Mom. Otherwise you'll be confused trying to plan work around the baby and babies aren't known to be very accomodating. Mine in fact NEVER sat in a bouncy chair or swing, which is something many parents rely on. So you don't know until you have the baby.

Just my thoughts.

[lawyer_princess]

... went off without a hitch. The teachers made good first impressions, the kids were enthusiastic, and our school has converted to a normal 9 month schedule (instead of 12 month).

When do yours start the school year?

Originally posted by viet_mom
Okay, I am the work-at-home QUEEN here.

Just wanted to say thanks to you and everyone else who responded here and who PM'd me, even if I didn't respond because I fell asleep (again) at my desk.

-T(Zzzzzzzz....)L

[viet_mom]

Has anyone ever had an episode with their little one where they had consistent diarrhea (or some other symptom) and was diagnosed with a virus (an Enterovirus or other virus) that in turn caused red spots on their body which was diagnosed as Erythema Multiforme ("EM")?

EM has two variations (Minor and Major) and I'm hoping it's the Minor variation but the docs don't know yet. The legions are just starting.

Apparently, an Enterovirus is common in kids especially in the summer but does not always, of course, result in the child also getting EM. And I understand a person with EM does not always get it from a virus (I think most EM cases are caused by a reaction to a drug or EM just spontaneously appears with no apparent precurser, like a virus).

But considering the doc said many children get Enteroviruses, I was wondering if any of your kids have ever gotten an Enterovirus (or other virus) and, if so, did they then get the rash which was diagnosed as Minor (or Major) EM?

I've already scoured the Internet on EM and have all the information but I guess it would be comforting to hear if someone's child had it and it was not big deal (was Minor) and went away. I assume I'm not the only parent whose child's virus turned into EM if (as the doc says) so many kids get Enteroviruses.

If not, is there any child health forum where I could post my question?

Thanks.

VietMom to a sick little one and very upset.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by viet_mom
But considering the doc said many children get Enteroviruses, I was wondering if any of your kids have ever gotten an Enterovirus (or other virus) and, if so, did they then get the rash which was diagnosed as Minor (or Major) EM?
...
If not, is there any child health forum where I could post my question?

A baltspawn recently was diagnosed with an enterovirus with a rash on the face. While the doctor didn't put the issue in quite the same terms, she wasn't particularly concerned about it, and prescribed no medication. Our doctor, too, said it was quite common in summer. It took about 10 days or so, but the rash went away.

Have you tried webMD (www.webmd.com)?