Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[Hank Chinaski]

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Q: "That's OK, mom will eat it ... " So said the Macaroni Grille waitress. She was speaking about my now ex-girlfriend (I'm 27, she is 39). Would you like to hear how this ended?
-- Coltrane, Chicago, Ill.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/050914

This sounds familiar:

Q: My boyfriend recently showed me a letter from one of your columns about Jennifer Love Hewitt written by some crazed woman. He tried to make the point that women are just jealous of her looks (he knows I hate her). I don't think this is true, I just think she is an incredibly bad actress. However, I countered by asking him what he thought of Ashton Kutcher. At which point he went on a long diatribe about how overrated, overexposed and terrible of an actor he is. So is Kutcher Jennifer's mirror image? Men like her and hate him and women are just the opposite.
-- Shelly D, Pasco, Wash.



Q: After watching the "Thursday Night Football" pregame show, is there now an equivalent to the "Jennifer Love Hewitt is a Great Actress" test for men? Imagine your response be if the Sports Gal remarked "Hey, I'll tell you who did a great job with that pregame show, that Freddie Prinze Jr." Even if you knew she was baiting you, could you control yourself?
-- Will Cornock, Roseland, N.J.



SG: Both excellent points. One problem though -- I don't think any guy truly takes Kutcher or Prinze seriously, whereas when USA Today showed a photo of Love Hewitt pursing her lips and trying to look sexy at the "Ghost Whisperer" press junket recently, I showed it to the Sports Gal with the comment "Doesn't she look great?" Twenty seconds later, she was still dropping F-bombs. That's why I think CBS is missing such a golden opportunity with Hewitt's new show -- she should play the world's most successful fashion model/nuclear physicist and date a never-ending string of good-looking rich guys. Women would watch every week just so they could be furious about it. I'm telling you, this would work.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Q: "That's OK, mom will eat it ... " So said the Macaroni Grille waitress. She was speaking about my now ex-girlfriend (I'm 27, she is 39). Would you like to hear how this ended?
-- Coltrane, Chicago, Ill.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/050914

I liked this one:

Q: How much money could Valerie Malone have actually received from Jonesy in the "get Dylan's money from his father's ex-wife" storyline in 90210? I mean, she bought a 'Vette, lived in the Penthouse Bel-Age Hotel and bought out Rush Sanders from the After Dark? This is really bothering me.
-- Jon Elsass, Chicago



SG: Excellent questions, and there's really no answer -- that's why the show was never the same after that moment, followed by some brief resurgences over the next three years, and culminating in Brandon not even getting a two-hour episode when he finally left the show. When Valerie became rich, that was it. I'll take a leap of faith with David Silver's budding music career, Brandon leading Beverly Hills High in a "Donna Martin graduates!" chant, Steve Sanders being a world-class volleyball player, even Tori Spelling's character becoming a high-end fashion model in France. But Valerie somehow buying a 'Vette and a nightclub and living in a four-figure suite after cutting a deal for fifty grand at best? That was too much for me.

[dtb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
This sounds familiar:

Really? Chicks go apoplectic over Jennifer Love Hewitt? She barely even registers on my radar. The only reason I know anything at all about her is because she was (supposedly) the subject of that John Mayer song.
Isn't she kind of a B-minus-list “star”?

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by dtb
Really? Chicks go apoplectic over Jennifer Love Hewitt? She barely even registers on my radar. The only reason I know anything at all about her is because she was (supposedly) the subject of that John Mayer song.
Isn't she kind of a B-minus-list “star”?

Defintely C, possibly D.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by dtb
Really? Chicks go apoplectic over Jennifer Love Hewitt? She barely even registers on my radar. The only reason I know anything at all about her is because she was (supposedly) the subject of that John Mayer song.
Isn't she kind of a B-minus-list “star”?

I don't think any FB chick has gone apoplectic over her (although some men assign such descriptions as apoplectic when women are only somewhat effusive about a topic), but we have discussed both her and Ashton on the FB.

I am on record as being mystified by Ashton's appeal and not by Jennifer's (come on), although she is a terrible actress and her being cast as Audrey Hepburn was the wrongest thing ever.

And Flinty, those are definitely D's.

[dtb]

There's a pretty funny article in today's NYT about what a miserable book “What to Expect when You're Expecting” is. I can't link to it, but I thought that had been a recent topic of discussion.

Apparently, Brigham & Women's Hospital specifically advises against reading it. Ha.

[ABBAKiss]

I am soliciting suggestions for baptism gifts for my identical twin nieces. I am their brother's godmother but just their aunt. Thoughts? I was thinking little charm bracelets they can add to but I am having trouble finding these.

In other news, looks like am back in the running for slutiest as I have just broken up with Commando Boy. Back to all the sex with all the people all the time. I am taking applications in the Twin Cities metro area.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by robustpuppy

And Flinty, those are definitely D's.

Don't worry, they can't hold a candle to yours. Well, actually, I have fit a candle in there before, but you know what I'm trying to say.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Don't worry, they can't hold a candle to yours. Well, actually, I have fit a candle in there before, but you know what I'm trying to say.

Sweetie, that was my ear.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am soliciting suggestions for baptism gifts for my identical twin nieces. I am their brother's godmother but just their aunt. Thoughts? I was thinking little charm bracelets they can add to but I am having trouble finding these.

In other news, looks like am back in the running for slutiest as I have just broken up with Commando Boy. Back to all the sex with all the people all the time. I am taking applications in the Twin Cities metro area.

Maybe you should have just talked about your feelings and communcated your expectations better before you went for that threesome in Vegas....

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy

I am on record as being mystified by Ashton's appeal and not by Jennifer's (come on), although she is a terrible actress and her being cast as Audrey Hepburn was the wrongest thing ever.

And Flinty, those are definitely D's.

I am one of the FBoys who has admitted to finding JLH very hot, but she doesn't hold a candle to Audrey.* She just had "it". "It" is unexplainable.

*thank god - without her, Breakfast at Tiffany's is unbearable.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am soliciting suggestions for baptism gifts for my identical twin nieces.

Rain hats. And I don't mean condoms.

In other news, looks like am back in the running for slutiest as I have just broken up with Commando Boy. Back to all the sex with all the people all the time.

Three weeks after I visit Minneapolis/St.Paul?!?! Bitch.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am soliciting suggestions for baptism gifts for my identical twin nieces. I am their brother's godmother but just their aunt. Thoughts? I was thinking little charm bracelets they can add to but I am having trouble finding these.

Gift certificates for a babyjesus tat.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by barely_legal
Maybe you should have just talked about your feelings and communcated your expectations better before you went for that threesome in Vegas....

Every time I go to Vegas I get married.