Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
On a related note, Dockers' new "package fit" khakis are cut to accentuate a sculpted and perfectly-toned ass. The pants are also cut with a little extra room in front to avoid suffocating your mammoth love anaconda.

This is good advice for those who need, but you shouldn't try and use this fit if the regular fit fits you- of course there is always padded underwear- http://www.penissizedebate.com/page3...-underwear.htm (spree- underwear catalog)

But keep in mind this advice, which for most of us is more relevant than Flower's advice-


One more thing: if you don't have much bulge never try to make up for your lack of sex-appeal by using so called "sexy" underwear. These will turn your already unflattering profile into a feminized travesty and you will be women's laughingstock for ages to come.

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh, and why if you're tall is it not OK to be full of confidence? Historically, I have had many people tell me "Oh, you're very, uh... self assured" which clearly means "You're arrogant or aloof." But I bet if I were a short fat little fucker, they'd tell me "Oh, its so refreshing that you have such confidence." Fucking discriminatory bastards. When you're tall its not Ok to have a little self confidence? I should shrink from people and hide my personality? Perhaps let the short fat guy hold the floor, so everyone can bask in his stunning confidence... his wonderful achievement over physical shortcomings? Fuck him.

Um....since when are tall, handsome, confident men discriminated against? I thought studies showed we buy more shit from tall guys, tall guys are more well-liked, etc. etc. God forbid a short Japanese guy in light blue polyester should get a little attention here and there. Shame on you, Sebby.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Um....since when are tall, handsome, confident men discriminated against? I thought studies showed we buy more shit from tall guys, tall guys are more well-liked, etc. etc. God forbid a short Japanese guy in light blue polyester should get a little attention here and there. Shame on you, Sebby.

I am 6'4" (on the internet). Plus, I may or may not bear some resemblance to Clive Owen, who some people consider handsome. And I am generally quite confident. Yet everyone here is always hating on me. So forgive me if I'm a little skeptical of your "studies."

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Um....since when are tall, handsome, confident men discriminated against? I thought studies showed we buy more shit from tall guys, tall guys are more well-liked, etc. etc. God forbid a short Japanese guy in light blue polyester should get a little attention here and there. Shame on you, Sebby.

Oh, I'm just making an observation. I've worked in a short nebbish-populated industry. I sometimes feel left out. Its like the Keebler Elves have a secret handshake I don't know. And I'm only 6'1. I can't imgine being 6'4 like Flower. He must cry himself to sleep.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I am 6'4" (on the internet). Plus, I may or may not bear some resemblance to Clive Owen, who some people consider handsome. And I am generally quite confident. Yet everyone here is always hating on me. So forgive me if I'm a little skeptical of your "studies."

Jesus, that makeover has really gotten to you. From Paul Linde to Clive Owen in three years?

You're more cute than sexy.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I can't imgine being 6'4 like Flower. He must cry himself to sleep.

Well, I'm only 6'4" on the internet, but the hurt carries over to real life.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh, I'm just making an observation. I've worked in a short nebbish-populated industry. I sometimes feel left out. Its like the Keebler Elves have a secret handshake I don't know. And I'm only 6'1. I can't imgine being 6'4 like Flower. He must cry himself to sleep.

As someone who actually is 6'4", I can tell you that it truly sucks...

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
From Paul Linde to Clive Owen in three years?

The Clive Owen thing is a bit of a stretch. Quite a bit. But it was nice of that guy to say it, all things considered.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
As someone who actually is 6'4", I can tell you that it truly sucks...

I have noticed that you look like George Muresan (horrible misspelling) in most court appearances.

I hear the jockey convention talking about you behind your back. "Lets trip him on the way out." "No, I'll crawl up inside his engine block during lunch and disconnect his sparks plugs." Then they all chant "Metzpah!" in their Alvin & the Chipmunks voices. I have no idea what that means, but your brakes going out last week on your way back from that court appearence... that was no accident.

I think Robert Reich is their leader, but I can't prove it.

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
And I am generally quite confident.

Really? I'm thinking a man who uses a white fluffy pussy with a pink princess hat as his avatar is probably trying too hard to come across as manly. Give it a rest, macho man.

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I've worked in a short nebbish-populated industry...the Keebler Elves have a secret handshake I don't know.

Anti-Keebler anti-Semite!

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have noticed that you look like George Muresan (horrible misspelling) in most court appearances.

I hear the jockey convention talking about you behind your back. "Lets trip him on the way out." "No, I'll crawl up inside his engine block during lunch and disconnect his sparks plugs." Then they all chant "Metzpah!" in their Alvin & the Chipmunks voices. I have no idea what that means, but your brakes going out last week on your way back from that court appearence... that was no accident.

I think Robert Reich is their leader, but I can't prove it.

Those bastards. Time for napalm death.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
The Clive Owen thing is a bit of a stretch. Quite a bit. But it was nice of that guy to say it, all things considered.

Especially considering you fucked his wife.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Especially considering you fucked his wife.

She was not his wife at the time.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Don't be too hasty- when you wear seersucker to court, a purple shirt just might take attention away from the no socks thing.

Seen it. Recall, I'm in Philly. I was tempted to ask the offender if he had any barely teen Thai girls for me. I felt that would be too cheap, so I just asked him where I could find white wall tires for a 1976 Eldorado Biarritz. He slapped me in the lips, told me he knew the Montgomery Scotts, threatened to have me jailed and broke down in a puddle, wailing about brandy induced colorblindedness. I hate this city.