More pie

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by andViolins
You can put on the brave face all you want bn'b., but WE all know that you sit at home, weeping softly to yourself. Alone in that huge fucking mansion. Probably swimming around in the money pool.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

aV

I'm not quarrelling with her being happy with her lifestyle, I'm picking a fight with dtb about what constitutes happiness. I think that we can agree that we would all be happy if we had the financial resources to be able to do whatever the fuck we wanted -- but some would work, some would have a passel of children, some would travel, etc. etc.

I guess this means what bnb calls "being able to do whatever I want" I would call "having enough resources not to have to work in order to support a resonably luxe lifestyle."

I don't know who, of people who currently do have to work in order to maintain a reasonably luxe lifestyle, would not want to have a chunk of change that would give them the option of taking some time off or taking a different job. Even if they ended up leaving it in the bank (or in real estate, or whatthefuckever).

It's like a tautology. Or whatever. It may be a little different for someone who grew up superrich -- they might think it would be interesting/fun for a while, or better for them, if they actually knew what it was like to HAVE to work.

[andViolins]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

Keep telling yourself that I lied about your looks. Because that's really all you have to hold onto. The truth hurts.

TM

I know that pp posted that you lied about her looks (i.e. that she is really beautiful). However, what has apparently slipped by is the posting today wherein she admits that she has lied about your conversation(s) with her.

Believe me. I may have lied about TM but this one was not a lie. And it will make her twist. not since she is so into being rated as pretty but for the betrayal it implies.

Is everything that she has posted a lie? Some of it?

aV

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
So the IT guy comes into my office a few minutes ago. Asks me what I am doing for a lunch....I say probably not eating and working at my desk. He says, "hmmmm, I can go for the tuna from [restaurant in our building]" I responded yes, that sounds good. He then says, "you treating?". Huh!?!? He then says, "oh by the way, I ran the quarterly cookie check on the Firm's network, some interesting cookies.......not quite work safe, if you know what I mean"....yes, I know what he means.

So, now I have to buy this doofus lunch.

But it gets worse and weirder....so then he says, "hey, you know Ron Jeremy, right?" I reply that I know who he is (the number of porn site cookies on my harddrive make it impossible for me to pretend I don't) but I don't know know him. He says, "right, yeah, so I had a dream last night, I was spit-roasting some hot chick with Ron Jeremy, and during the roasting, Ron puts up his hand for a high five, and when I give it to him, he holds my hand and won't let go.......then I woke up.......do you think I'm a gay? Latently?"

I hemmed and hawed and during which I IM'd my secretary and had her buzz me, and then pretended I had a client call and kicked him out.

Is this fucked up or what? What should I say to this guy next time I see him? (my secretary is delivering his tuna lunch to him, so I am avoiding him for now).

2 wods: allah akbar

[dtb]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
So the IT guy comes into my office a few minutes ago. Asks me what I am doing for a lunch....I say probably not eating and working at my desk. He says, "hmmmm, I can go for the tuna from [restaurant in our building]" I responded yes, that sounds good. He then says, "you treating?". Huh!?!? He then says, "oh by the way, I ran the quarterly cookie check on the Firm's network, some interesting cookies.......not quite work safe, if you know what I mean"....yes, I know what he means.

So, now I have to buy this doofus lunch.

But it gets worse and weirder....so then he says, "hey, you know Ron Jeremy, right?" I reply that I know who he is (the number of porn site cookies on my harddrive make it impossible for me to pretend I don't) but I don't know know him. He says, "right, yeah, so I had a dream last night, I was spit-roasting some hot chick with Ron Jeremy, and during the roasting, Ron puts up his hand for a high five, and when I give it to him, he holds my hand and won't let go.......then I woke up.......do you think I'm a gay? Latently?"

I hemmed and hawed and during which I IM'd my secretary and had her buzz me, and then pretended I had a client call and kicked him out.

Is this fucked up or what? What should I say to this guy next time I see him? (my secretary is delivering his tuna lunch to him, so I am avoiding him for now).

To the IT guy, I say, "W p, p."

To you, I say, WTF is "spit roasting"?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Wait. I need to think about this for a minute.

TM never said RP was not pretty.
Some third party did. And the third party got the information from someone else.
Plus, TM lied about himself being attractive?

Is that what you are saying?

Clearly I'm behind and hopefully this has been addressed, but you are right on points 1 and 2. I never spoke to her about my looks or anyone else's on the board. She meant that I lied about her attractiveness. She just can't construct a sentence because she is a brick.

TM

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Not Bob
As you know, all of us here at Not Bob take the Not Bob brand seriously, and are always looking for ways to improve and upgrade your experience with Not Bob.

After an extensive period of research into what it is that makes a Not Bob post the je ne sais quois experience that it is (is it the seeming reasonableness? the thinly-masked know-it-all-ism? the good manners?), including the use of focus groups and polling), your friends at Not Bob are thrilled and honored to announce the following exciting new developments:

(1) More editions of "Ask Not Bob"! That's correct, more of those fake letters to Not Bob which Not Bob can use in his lovably passive-aggressive way to make his seemingly rational yet subtly dismissive points. Get your letters in! Not that we'll use them, of course -- we like to make up our own.

(2) More Fenwick! Yup, Not Bob's much-beloved associate Fenwick will make more regular appearances in Not Bob posts. Look for Fenwick to be used as kind of a Greek chorus, or maybe a set-up person, or even simply an Everyperson. As an associate of indeterminate gender, Fenwick can serve as a handy placeholder for each and every member of the LawTalkers community. Fenwick will star in a series of advertisements promoting the Not Bob brand of shtick.

(3) You can take Not Bob out of Podunkville, but you can't take the Podunkville out of Not Bob! This season, Not Bob and his wacky friends and neighbors (all your favorites -- Big Ed, Big Edna (her real name is Michelle), Wanda of Help Me, Wanda's hair salon, the Harvard law chick mechanic at Big Ed's Fina station, Big Ed's brother Big Earl, all of the fun kids at the Dew Drop Inn, and various assistant managers, cashiers, and patrons at the Piggly-Wiggly) will visit various cities across the US of A. See Big Ed at the Rainbow Room, Wanda at the Sears Tower, and Big Earl at the Folsom Street Fair. Should be a *lot* of fun.

(4) The day Not Bob's music died -- today! Sadly, there is a time and a purpose to all things, and the time has passed for Not Bob song parodies. Sure, "Don't Cry For Me, Fashionistas," "What Would Billmore Baggins Do," and "Me and Paigow P" were all classics, but, well, they were also all composed a long time ago. We all share your disappointment with recent efforts, and have terminated with extreme prejudice those writers who created those flops. Enough said.

We here at Not Bob value your reading of Not Bob posts, and look forward to continuing to provide you with high quality posts at a fair price.

Have a Not Bob Day!

More podcasts, please!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
And all his strange wack assed half flirtatious comments attest to that.

You are completely insane. And if you think I flirted with you at all, at any point, it completely explains why you have fooled yourself into thinking everyone hits on you.

TM

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by dtb
To you, I say, WTF is "spit roasting"?

I have never seen the terms used this way before today, but I bet I have a pretty good idea what it means. Is MR the only one with stick-figure diagramming abilities?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Which of his comments are flirtatious, exactly? Did he <gasp> offer you a straw or something?

I paid for the drink. Clearly I want her.

TM

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have never seen the terms used this way before today, but I bet I have a pretty good idea what it means. Is MR the only one with stick-figure diagramming abilities?

Isn't there a web site someplace with stick figure Kama Sutra?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You know that movie where she gets trapped in the Target overnight? The one where the male lead says something to her like "I would want to touch you even if you were covered in spiders"?

I love that movie.

Career Opportunities.

TM

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have never seen the terms used this way before today, but I bet I have a pretty good idea what it means. Is MR the only one with stick-figure diagramming abilities?

Urban Dictionary needs stick figures.

[SlaveNoMore]

ThurgreedMarshall
I applied no such standard. You are not pretty at all. Period. You can jump up and down and pretend I lied or say I have impossibly high standards, but I was not judging you based on if I would sleep with you or date you. I simply looked at your face and could tell that you are neither pretty nor cute. I met you with the sole goal being to give everyone on this board an idea of what you look like.

The overwhelming majority of people on this earth would agree with me and I am quite certain everybody on this board would feel the same way. So, until you meet Sebby and he comes back and posts all about how cute you are (or until you convince SS to actually post about how pretty you are), shut the fuck up.

We know you did. You do every fucking day. The fact is, you are not pretty and the attention you get has absolutely no connection to your looks. If you think it does, you are completely delusional.

The attorneys are being nice to you because you work for them and they are probably nice people. Unless they are uglier than you or have some sort of fat, asian girl fetish, they are not hitting on you. Neither are the people you run into every day.

Whenever anyone says you are hot, they are telling you a white lie to avoid hurting your feelings. They do this because it is so very obvious to everyone around you that you need validation about (i) how you look (because you are well below average), (ii) your career choice (because paralegals ain't shit, no matter how much money you make -- I know, I used to be one) and (iii) your lifestyle (as evidenced by the fact that you can't have a conversation for more than 30 seconds without mentioning a brand name you want or are wearing).

You are a shallow, pathetic, empty, nothing of a person. Usually this perfect storm of emptiness occurs only in hot women. But you don't even have that. You are considerably overweight and unattractive. In fact, if you lost 40 pounds, you would still be unattractive.

Keep telling yourself that I lied about your looks. Because that's really all you have to hold onto. The truth hurts.

TM

You should have posted this under your Redrum sock.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
So the IT guy comes into my office a few minutes ago. Asks me what I am doing for a lunch....I say probably not eating and working at my desk. He says, "hmmmm, I can go for the tuna from [restaurant in our building]" I responded yes, that sounds good. He then says, "you treating?". Huh!?!? He then says, "oh by the way, I ran the quarterly cookie check on the Firm's network, some interesting cookies.......not quite work safe, if you know what I mean"....yes, I know what he means.

So, now I have to buy this doofus lunch.

But it gets worse and weirder....so then he says, "hey, you know Ron Jeremy, right?" I reply that I know who he is (the number of porn site cookies on my harddrive make it impossible for me to pretend I don't) but I don't know know him. He says, "right, yeah, so I had a dream last night, I was spit-roasting some hot chick with Ron Jeremy, and during the roasting, Ron puts up his hand for a high five, and when I give it to him, he holds my hand and won't let go.......then I woke up.......do you think I'm a gay? Latently?"

I hemmed and hawed and during which I IM'd my secretary and had her buzz me, and then pretended I had a client call and kicked him out.

Is this fucked up or what? What should I say to this guy next time I see him? (my secretary is delivering his tuna lunch to him, so I am avoiding him for now).

so the guy blackmails you with dirt that could cost you your job, and he figures the value of saving your job is a tuna sandwich? you're 40 or 50 or so right? that's the sign of one unhealthy career right there.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Although my last post was harsh, at least you aren't completely worthless. Maybe it makes me crazy, but I honestly could not believe that even you would stoop to something so low.

TM

I thought she stooped when she told the lie initially, and again, and again. The only reason she admitted to the lie today is that she thought that it would bother me to wonder who, who, who it could be.