Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by the Spartan have we ever done a poll on losing one’s virginity?

Funny you should bring this up. Well, I say funny, it really wasn't funny at all.

Me and Hank and Slave were having out in the quad, tanning ourselves amidst the snow in that joyous spring of 92, 94, or 78. Fuck the SPF, we were all about the olive oil. All over our bodies, slathering. We wanted the sun and we wanted a tasty outer crust. We were young and a Gorelickenan Wall couldn't have stood between us and a good time. We were young and Hank's big brother bought us a bottle of 151 Bacardi and a case of Tab. Good Times!!!

So we're there, cooking in our oil, curious about our pasty, hairless flesh. We life the hems of our skirts higher (franternity thing, don't ask) to receive rays higher upon our fleshy thighs. This may sound gay, in retrospect, nttawwt, but at the time it felt natural, like sampling cheese.

We got a little sick when Hank took his shirt off, but I'm not sure if it was the back acne or the 151. Or maybe it was the hairy mantits. Whatever. 151 burns when it goes out through the nose, and my eyes were teared considerably.

Slave lovingly cradled my head while Hank stumbled toward the beer bong. I vulnerably reached for Slave's well-conditioned hair while Slave bought a glass of water to my lips. It was then that he exposed his shaved, oiled penis to me and told me to relax. It was then that I realized that slave must have lied on his sorority application.

As things went black, I heard a swooshing sound. Someone said, "goddammit. Anybody got blow? I've had a little to drink. NTTAWWT."

Next morning, I managed to stumble back to The Temple, but I was told my initation was incomplete. I asked slave about this, but all that I only heard concern about relative skin quality.

Am I still a virgin?

[SlaveNoMore]

Shape Shifter

[insert Shifter's Pride Week fantasy]

Am I still a virgin?

More like a Catholic Priest with a guilt-complex.

Please seek help. Do it for the sake of the children.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Anyone who's ever had a heart
Wouldn't turn around and break it
and anyone who's ever played a part
Wouldn't turn around and hate it

That is, needless to say, so hot.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
This is a doctored photo, right? His hands and feet just don't seem to be positioned to provide enough support. Now, I did just recreate this pose in my living room, right down to the hair style and the outfit, and it seems possible, but I'm skeptical.

This particular photo is almost certainly a stock image used to illustrate the story, but is not an actual image of the five-year-old that is the subject of the story it illustrates. And yes, it's been doctored --- either that or Jack Palance begat a son with a member of the Lollypop Guild. No toddler of that age would hold such a pose long enough to be photographed, even if he could.

Actual photo of the German Uberkinder, whose identity is being kept secret (seriously, it is):

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Actual photo of the German Uberkinder, whose identity is being kept secret (seriously, it is):

His mother was a professional sprinter, no word about his father. I'm wondering what sport he'll play. We don't know who he is now, but in 10 years or so when the next Wonderkid is making an impact in (insert sport here) we'll know.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
This particular photo is almost certainly a stock image used to illustrate the story, but is not an actual image of the five-year-old that is the subject of the story it illustrates. And yes, it's been doctored --- either that or Jack Palance begat a son with a member of the Lollypop Guild. No toddler of that age would hold such a pose long enough to be photographed, even if he could.

Actual photo of the German Uberkinder, whose identity is being kept secret (seriously, it is):

Such a perfect post, but for want of an umlaut!

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Such a perfect post, but for want of an umlaut!

For want of a umlaut, the sentence was lost.
For the want of the sentence, the message was lost.
For the want of the message, the battle was lost.
For the want of the battle, the war was lost.
For the want of the war, the kingdom was lost.

[baltassoc]

Apparently Burger's e-mail was right and there is a new Internet worm that is attacking web sites on mass and that poses a danger to surfers:

Experts studying Internet attack

Go to Windows update to get the latest patches:

http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com/

[patentparanyc]

So If I hear "cheeseburger in paradise" blaring, and there's people with hats adorned with stuffed parrots on them, I can assume that it's Jimmy Buffet performing and the people are parrot heads? Me not really being a fan and all. That was way too early in the morning for that. a little trippy.

Has anyone read the Craig's List [NY board-although in each city also] "Rants and Raves" that shit is so funny. People go off about the craziest things. There was this crazy "preggos in the office" thread and also typical "I went to the deli, I asked for a bagel with cream cheese, you gave me a bagel with butter, arugala and tomato, I'm sorry I lost it and called you a fucktard!"

As an addendum to the train etiquette, commuting grind thing, can anyone tell me why, if the train car is empty, and I'm sitting there, why people would feel compelled to crawl right up my ass to sit? seriously, I understand when it's busy and crowded sometimes it's three to a seat and whatnot, but when it's empty SPREAD OUT. that is all.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
As an addendum to the train etiquette, commuting grind thing,

You need to move. Either out of TCOTU or way closer to where you work. Seriously. Do you see the rest of us (excepting Paigow) complaining about our commute?

I'm not saying you're a bad person. I'm just saying you're obviously out of balance with your commute tolerance.

[the Spartan]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Funny you should bring this up. Well, I say funny, it really wasn't funny at all.

Me and Hank and Slave were having out in the quad, tanning ourselves amidst the snow in that joyous spring of 92, 94, or 78......

Am I still a virgin?

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! (hi Hank!)

eta: apropos of none of that, I feel secure in my decision to don by my manchastity belt when I am in the office after 5. nttawwt.

[the Spartan]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
This particular photo is almost certainly a stock image used to illustrate the story, but is not an actual image of the five-year-old that is the subject of the story it illustrates. And yes, it's been doctored --- either that or Jack Palance begat a son with a member of the Lollypop Guild. No toddler of that age would hold such a pose long enough to be photographed, even if he could.

Actual photo of the German Uberkinder, whose identity is being kept secret (seriously, it is):

Uhm, either my endowment needs a fundraiser, sts, no pun intended, or this must be the pornobaby!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
an addendum to the train etiquette, commuting grind thing, can anyone tell me why, if the train car is empty, and I'm sitting there, why people would feel compelled to crawl right up my ass to sit? seriously, I understand when it's busy and crowded sometimes it's three to a seat and whatnot, but when it's empty SPREAD OUT. that is all.

Again, we'd need to know breast size and clothing info to make any intelligent response here.

I've never noticed this on trains, but have in health club locker rooms. it seems like it is often the case I am one of 2 people in a big empty locker, and we happened to pick the lockers next to each other. Its weird and creeps me out.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Again, we'd need to know breast size and clothing info to make any intelligent response here.

I've never noticed this on trains, but have in health club locker rooms. it seems like it is often the case I am one of 2 people in a big empty locker, and we happened to pick the lockers next to each other. Its weird and creeps me out.

Sorry to rant about my commute, first off. No more. or, nevermore quoth the raven.

Second, I really think it's one of two thing. People's neediness or loneliness, OR they're stalkers and they think you're cute.

FWIW, it was a guy and he was middle aged and unattractive. Squicked me out.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Speaking of which, if anyone wants to be in the pride parade in Houston on Saturday night, shoot me a PM. I have a group that's looking for more bead throwers. Orientation unimportant.

Translation: Wonk is looking for some bead catchers and pullers.

TM