Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I do not cook. What is something easy but reasonably impressive that I can cook for Commando Boy?

DiGiorno rising crust pizza.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I do not cook. What is something easy but reasonably impressive that I can cook for Commando Boy?

If you really can't/don't cook, why try for this guy? Unless you are really going to put in the effort and try the recipes out a few times to see how they work, nothing a novice tries for the first time is going to be that good.

Just put on a tight shirt and talk to the lesbian buther at Whole Foods about some easy-to-grill pre-prepared stuff they have there, and bust out with some of their other pre-prepared stuff. It's good.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by mmm3587
If you really can't/don't cook, why try for this guy? Unless you are really going to put in the effort and try the recipes out a few times to see how they work, nothing a novice tries for the first time is going to be that good.

I agree. Doing the "cooking impressively for the new guy even though you can't cook, and it will never happen again" thing is fairly dishonest, and will just lead to unmeetable expectations later. Buy a couple bags of White Castle sliders, and serve 'em topless.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by mmm3587
If you really can't/don't cook, why try for this guy?

Because he makes me SWOOON. And because I lost at Scrabble.

I may go with the bowl of strawberries and whipped cream......

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by bilmore
I agree. Doing the "cooking impressively for the new guy even though you can't cook, and it will never happen again" thing is fairly dishonest, and will just lead to unmeetable expectations later. Buy a couple bags of White Castle sliders, and serve 'em topless.

Oh -- he knows I don't cook. No pulling the wool over his eyes on that one. He cooks and is good at it -- I lost a bet.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss

I may go with the bowl of strawberries and whipped cream......

why bother with the bowl?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Oh -- he knows I don't cook. No pulling the wool over his eyes on that one. He cooks and is good at it -- I lost a bet.

Grill something and make a salad. Steak or fish and corn or asparagus. You can buy a dry rub for the meats that will make it appear complicated.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Because he makes me SWOOON. And because I lost at Scrabble.

I may go with the bowl of strawberries and whipped cream......

Scrabble? Sort of an extreme effort not to annoy your neighbor.


(And you LOST? I don't know how you can face the day.)

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
Yum. Makes me miss Chicago.

"Giordanos will half bake and freeze our famous stuffed pizzas. They are packed in dry ice for shipping anywhere in the USA. We will not ship to Canada. We only ship 12 inch medium stuffed pizzas and will not ship meat. The shipping price includes Fed Ex priority over night service, dry ice and an insulated container which can hold up to four pizzas."

Malnatis will also ship. You can even do a package deal with Portillo's or some other outfit for pizza and italian beef or polish sausage. Giordano's is a pale imitation of the true Chicago pizza.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Grill something and make a salad. Steak or fish and corn or asparagus. You can buy a dry rub for the meats that will make it appear complicated.

2. I have this great simple recipe for balsamic/olive oil marinated grilled chicken over romaine with chick peas and cut up pieces of french bread that you coat with olive oil and put on the grill. Incredibly simple and you can make it well the first time you try. Unfortunately I don't have it with me but the concept is simple enough. when are you doing this?

Or just a thick steak rubbed with montreal steak seasoning and cooked on a super hot grill, grilled asparagus brushed with you guessed it, balsamic and olive oil (or pop it in a foil packet), mixed greens with balsamic vinaigrette, cheddar-garlic biscuits.

For dessert you could make key lime pie, also incredibly easy if you have a hand mixer and buy key lime juice and a premade graham cracker crust. Strawberries and whipped cream, however, would probably offset the asparagus effect.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Oh -- he knows I don't cook. No pulling the wool over his eyes on that one. He cooks and is good at it -- I lost a bet.

Well, that's even more fraught with peril. If he knows food, some novice fucking up something easy is not going to be that impressive.

There is something about our generation that makes some people, often women, think that they can cook because they are smart and can figure things out, even if they never learned from their mothers and have never done it before.* If he knows you can't cook, just turn it into a sexy lesson; get him to show you some shit, whatever. There is a lot of remarkably easy stuff to do that somebody who knows what they're going can show you.

If you insist, just practice sauteeing thinly sliced vegetables (nothing fibrous like red peppers, just stuff like squash, zucchini, maybe some apples (yes, I know they're not vegetables)) in pepper, salt and white wine. Practice the slicing and sauteeing until you get good at it and it consistenty tastes good. And grill something simple, fresh or pre-prepared (like those cool grill items that Whole Foods has). And make some fresh bread and a nice homemade desert. Or maybe try a more complex recipe, like lasagna or a caserole. But, for god's sake, practice it at least twice before hand.

* I don't really care if someone thinks this is sexist. It's my experience. I've never had a terrible meal served by some guy who didn't understand that cooking is more than following a recipe like a monkey. I've had many served by women. It may very well be that there are plenty of guys out there doing this as well for women they want to bed, but it seems to me that men are much more willing to admit it when they know jack shit about cooking. Whenever guys try to cook for me (I have a lot of gay friends and a lot of foody friends, so it's not that uncommon), it's usually pretty good because they know what they're doing. But a lot of clueless women have tried to cook for me, and it's sucked.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by mmm3587
If he knows food, some novice fucking up something easy is not going to be that impressive.

I'm not worried about impressing him. He is a sure thing. I had him at "are you wearing any underpants." I just want to make something that is not out of a can.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What's the best steakhouse in Chicago (aside from the chains like Wollensky's and Ruth's Chris, etc.)? Is the Chop House the place to be? Or is there something better?

And what's the name of the greasy sandwich place that's supposed to be so good? I need answers. Lay it on me.

TM

Best steakhouse is Kiefer's. Greasy sandwich in question is the italian beef sandwich at Mr. Beef on Orleans. Alternatives are Al's on Ontario or Buona Beef out by my house on the Iowa border.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I just want to make something that is not out of a can.

And he won this bet?

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I'm not worried about impressing him. He is a sure thing. I had him at "are you wearing any underpants." I just want to make something that is not out of a can.

Fair enough. That's cool and sweet. I still think that the most important thing is practice. It's like sex; the first time will never be that great; you need to do a lot of practice runs and do some work on your own for it to be good. As mentioned, grilling simple stuff with good rubs or marinades, sauteeing interesting vegatables with simple spices and browning yummy bread with interesting spices and topics are all pretty easy.