Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by mmm3587
The first time with an individual person might be great in the "I'm deeply banging this person I've never banged before, and, ooh, look at that sexy stomach," but I always find that subsequent sexual escapades with such a person tend to be much more satisfying, once you know how to fuck someone the way they want to be fucked, and that person knows how to fuck you. Not that it's not good the first time, just that it doesn't tend to be great in the grand scheme of fucking. Your mileage may vary. If the best sex you ever have with a person is the first time you fuck, I think that's sad.

For an adequate time call mmm3587?

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Buy two tuna steaks. Get a skillet red-hot...

I think that doing a good job searing but not overcooking or actually really charring tuna steaks is axctually pretty difficult, especially for a first timer. Especially since you really need a true iron skillet that can sustain significant heat before the food is put on it, and you can't do it with a regular pan. But, hey, your mileage may vary.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by mmm3587
When I have "great" sex the first time I'm with someone, it's usually because the sex is psychologically hot for some reaon (it's dirty, it's forbidden, she's a client, it's a threesome, I just met her, she's particularly hot or pretty or smart or otherwise intriguing, whatever), not because, compared to other sex I've had, it particularly physically satisfies me.

That's interesting.

And again with the reading comprehension: I never said that all the sex I've had is great, or that it's even THAT common for it to be great with someone the first time. Even with my low standards.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
For an adequate time call mmm3587?

Sorry, the only Catholic Nazis I do are the female kind.

[mmm3587]

Damn, all this talk about food and fucking is making me hungry and horny.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I do not cook. What is something easy but reasonably impressive that I can cook for Commando Boy?

Any dietary constraints?

Insalata caprese is always easy, and always good. (Slice fresh beefsteak or hothouse tomatoes, slice fresh mozzarella, get some leaves basil, drizzle olive oil on top, salt and pepper to taste.)

Chop up a few fennel bulbs and throw lemon juice and salt and pepper on it.

Really easy way to wow him: Go buy some squid ink pasta, cook it aldente (i.e. so it has a little bit of moisture on it), drizzle some truffle oil on it, sprinkle a little fresh parmigiano and a little bit of lemon juice.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Come over tonight. I'll cook something for you and give you the best sex you ever had the first time, soul mate.

I am in. I'll bring my edible underpants.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Damn, all this talk about food and fucking is making me hungry and horny.

since sex with anyone here and you would be the first time, don't hold your breath.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Well, that's even more fraught with peril. If he knows food, some novice fucking up something easy is not going to be that impressive.

There is something about our generation that makes some people, often women, think that they can cook because they are smart and can figure things out, even if they never learned from their mothers and have never done it before.* If he knows you can't cook, just turn it into a sexy lesson; get him to show you some shit, whatever. There is a lot of remarkably easy stuff to do that somebody who knows what they're going can show you.

If you insist, just practice sauteeing thinly sliced vegetables (nothing fibrous like red peppers, just stuff like squash, zucchini, maybe some apples (yes, I know they're not vegetables)) in pepper, salt and white wine. Practice the slicing and sauteeing until you get good at it and it consistenty tastes good. And grill something simple, fresh or pre-prepared (like those cool grill items that Whole Foods has). And make some fresh bread and a nice homemade desert. Or maybe try a more complex recipe, like lasagna or a caserole. But, for god's sake, practice it at least twice before hand.

* I don't really care if someone thinks this is sexist. It's my experience. I've never had a terrible meal served by some guy who didn't understand that cooking is more than following a recipe like a monkey. I've had many served by women. It may very well be that there are plenty of guys out there doing this as well for women they want to bed, but it seems to me that men are much more willing to admit it when they know jack shit about cooking. Whenever guys try to cook for me (I have a lot of gay friends and a lot of foody friends, so it's not that uncommon), it's usually pretty good because they know what they're doing. But a lot of clueless women have tried to cook for me, and it's sucked.

You know, sometimes it's just nice to do something for other people, even if it's not done well.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I do hope you mean the first time EVER with anyone, and not that the first time with a new person is never that great. Because that would be sad.

2. Shit, there is nothing better than new "strange." Its a sad fact, considering our society's monogamy gig. Kinda fucked up, huh? To be in love, you have to be monogamous, but to enjoy one of the better sexual experiences out there, you need variety.

Life sucks. All the tasty shit is forbidden or bad for you.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
You know, sometimes it's just nice to do something for other people, even if it's not done well.

mmmm applies this principle to sex.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
For an adequate time call mmm3587?

I quote the great Bill MacNeal:

"I'm just overflowing with ade-quata-quasity."

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I quote the great Bill MacNeal:

"I'm just overflowing with ade-quata-quasity."

Is that finally going to be out on DVD any time soon? I gave up hope when Amazon kept e-mailing me with the bad news of continued delays...

eta Various sources say May 24, but they've been pushing back the dates for two years.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Maybe every time you have sex, it's supergreat, but you've got to have some objective standard instead of just thinking that it's "great" every time. My point is, it's generally going to get better. That's why I said, "it's never that great the first time." Maybe I should have capitalized "that," since that's what I was trying to emphasize, but the point is, practice makes perfect, and people get used to each other's bodies. When I have "great" sex the first time I'm with someone, it's usually because the sex is psychologically hot for some reaon (it's dirty, it's forbidden, she's a client, it's a threesome, I just met her, she's particularly hot or pretty or smart or otherwise intriguing, whatever), not because, compared to other sex I've had, it particularly physically satisfies me.

Or maybe you've just got low standards for sex and don't have the ability to differentiate good, great and average sex. Anything's possible. I don't have many complaints (unless, "Oh my god, you bastard, we've only been fucking for two hours, don't you dare stop!" counts). Until the next FB Great Cook- and Fuck-Off, we don't have much data on which to objectively compare fucking abilities.

1. You can, or should, be able to figure out how to fuck the other person and let them know how you want to be fucked during session #1, particularly since session #1 is always a marathon session.

2. Its all about communicating. My initial sex has always been under the influence, so I have no problem doing what I like and telling her to do what I like. I don't ask for the kinky shit up front, but I'm not shy either. You're bumping uglies, for Christ's sake... why the fuck would you be hesitant to let the other person know how you wat it? And as far as figuring out how she likes it, keep trying every trick you know until she goes nuts, and then keep doing whatever it was that made her go nuts.

Its fucking, not bypass surgery.

[robustpuppy]

That new pope sure is ugly. John Paul had a sweet face, and as he got older and frailer he was cute like a baby. I don't think having a Pope who looks like the devil is good, no matter how hard line you want your doctrine to be. If people get the faces they deserve as they age, it makes you wonder what he's done. He makes me think of the Picture of Dorian Gray.