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06-22-2005, 02:17 PM
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#2491
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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whiff
Quote:
Originally posted by Mojo Starbucks
"Run, everybody! RUN!!"
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Yeah, run and get me a fucking muffin, starbucks fucker. triple-time.
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06-22-2005, 02:19 PM
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#2492
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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Today
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Jokes involving midgets, colostomy bags, and talking bears tend to be funny. Smashing watermelons, not so much.
You can pay me through penske's paypal account.
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So you're keeping the lightbulb jokes for yourself?
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06-22-2005, 02:21 PM
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#2493
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,203
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For RP
Quote:
Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Good god, man. Dr. Everything-Will-Be-Alright.
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Dr. Xanax Von Adavan? He's a quack.
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
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06-22-2005, 02:22 PM
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#2494
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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For RP
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dr. Xanax Von Adavan? He's a quack.
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Just because you have a thing against everything being all right doesn't make him a quack. Some of us like being calm.
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06-22-2005, 02:28 PM
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#2495
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Moderasaurus Rex
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 33,050
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whiff
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Speaking of which, fucking starbucks didn't fucking have any fucking chocolate muffins this morning. I fucking might as well have fucking eaten oatmeal at home, or something. Fuckers.
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In my experience, the baked goods at Starbucks taste like cardboard, which is cheaper and has more fiber.
__________________
“It was fortunate that so few men acted according to moral principle, because it was so easy to get principles wrong, and a determined person acting on mistaken principles could really do some damage." - Larissa MacFarquhar
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06-22-2005, 02:30 PM
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#2496
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,203
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Today
Quote:
Originally posted by pony_trekker
Is that where sd's pecker snot* came from?
*a/k/a spooge, snake venom, jism, man-seed, soap-from-the-rope, squirt, dick-milk,
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No, no jacking off to the Today Show. Katie Couric is the reverse of the Stones' lyric "You, you, you make a dead man come." She could make a 15 year old virgin with a half a forty of St. Ides in him impotent. I forget the vapid, medicated target audience of that show and frequently find myself quipping "You useless cunt" toward my television as I listen to her prattle on about how the mother of that lost blonde chick in Aruba "is sooo brave." "Brave?" Really, Katie? Are any of your cue card monkeys familar with a fucking dictionary?
But as to morning masturbation, I haven't cracked one out to a television program since I found myself doing so to an aerobics show back in law school. For some reason, it was one of those, "It doesn't get any lower than this" moments.
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
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06-22-2005, 02:30 PM
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#2497
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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Today
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
So you're keeping the lightbulb jokes for yourself?
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I'll wait til I'm paid before I start giving him the good stuff.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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06-22-2005, 02:34 PM
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#2498
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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whiff
Quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
In my experience, the baked goods at Starbucks taste like cardboard, which is cheaper and has more fiber.
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I like the chocolate cream cheese muffins. Sue me.
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06-22-2005, 02:34 PM
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#2499
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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Frankly, My Dear, They Missed a Few
Top movie quotes of all time
Hard to argue with the top 5 or so, although I feel none are as good as "I love my dead gay son." IT nazis wouldn't let me see the entire list. What am I missing?
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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06-22-2005, 02:37 PM
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#2500
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: State of Chaos
Posts: 8,197
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Frankly, My Dear, They Missed a Few
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Hard to argue with the top 5 or so, although I feel none are as good as "I love my dead gay son."
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Is this from A Few Good Men?
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06-22-2005, 02:38 PM
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#2501
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Moderasaurus Rex
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 33,050
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whiff
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
I like the chocolate cream cheese muffins. Sue me.
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Perhaps I'll give one of those a try.
__________________
“It was fortunate that so few men acted according to moral principle, because it was so easy to get principles wrong, and a determined person acting on mistaken principles could really do some damage." - Larissa MacFarquhar
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06-22-2005, 02:39 PM
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#2502
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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whiff
Quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Perhaps I'll give one of those a try.
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Even cardboard is good if it's chocolatey. The chocolate croissant pastry is not good, but the filling is great (this is what I had instead). I have never tried any of the low/reduced-fat things.
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06-22-2005, 02:39 PM
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#2503
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Moderasaurus Rex
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 33,050
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Frankly, My Dear, They Missed a Few
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Is this from A Few Good Men?
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![](http://www.beckerfilms.com/AmericanBeauty.gif)
__________________
“It was fortunate that so few men acted according to moral principle, because it was so easy to get principles wrong, and a determined person acting on mistaken principles could really do some damage." - Larissa MacFarquhar
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06-22-2005, 02:41 PM
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#2504
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,203
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whiff
Quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
In my experience, the baked goods at Starbucks taste like cardboard, which is cheaper and has more fiber.
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I want to know where they get the stuff. How far is it flown? Clearly, none of its made locally. I saw some creepy fucko from the Home Office assisting workers at the local Starbucks. He had crazy wide bulgy hyperthyroid eyes, his pants were up way too high and he spoke in a creepy Mister Rogers tone, as though he were an android or the sort of man who had nude boys tied in pretzels in the trunk of his Mercury. Wherever the Home Office people come from, they are the sort of people I don't want anywhere near my foodstuffs. I won't be having any of their fucking brownies any time soon.
And for God's sake, don't ask for my fucking name and yell it as though you know me when my fucking espresso is finished. You don't know me.
AND GET RID OF THAT TEN FOOT "ANTIGONE RISING" DISPLAY! That band clearly sucks an incredible amount of ass... more than MR. They look like some talent scout found five screwheads at Vassar or Bryn Mawr college, and the local coffee shops, handed them a song catalogue written by some mincing shitass emo chickenshit songwriter and packaged them up as the next Lilith Fair phenom. Fuck them, and get their fucking shitass cd off the sound system and out of my fucking face.
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
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06-22-2005, 02:42 PM
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#2505
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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Frankly, My Dear, They Missed a Few
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Is this from A Few Good Men?
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Ah, thank you CNN.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movi....ap/index.html
"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape."
Lines like that change peoples' lives.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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