Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
1) what is "golem"?

I insult both of us by doing this, but the golem was a mythical clay automaton of European Jewish folklore --- a "made man," if you will. Inspired millions of nightmares and the Frankenstein novel.

What was so exceptionally funny about the reveal? I did enjoy a couple of lines like "that mother is going to take her shirt off" and "a mint julep is an Irish mojito", and the silence was kinda funny, but otherwise? please rehash for me. I was doind laundry so maybe I missed it?

I don't want to spoil, but the things he was muttering to himself as he swept the floor? The creative inclusion of gin in a certain Irish mojito? His multiple uses of the kitchen towel while making the canapes? The way he lept up to offer more drinks to everybody, when he'd already given his girlfriend's dad a Big Gulp of bourbon? Jesus, he was a fucking mess.

Also, how is Jai pronounced? "hi"?

Rhymes with "homosexual," i.e., it's the Broadway spelling of "Jay."

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Dualit
I love that Joan Rivers refers to him as "Carrot Bottom." I understand third-hand that he plays for my team.

In gym class, he would have been picked last.

Dua(Joan and her daughter are creepy, too)lit

It's the too-obvious eyelid job and the Spock-like diagonally plucked eyebrows (on Carrot-top) that frighten me.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by dtb
Which one was it?

The new one this week. The guy was getting prepped to host the meeting of his and his girlfriend's parents. The uncomfortable silences were just priceless.


spoiler



This ep sort of broke my heart. The SG fought, and fought hard, in defense of his cheapness. (The "aqua man/swamp man" comment was brilliant, too. Most SGs haven't had the balls to argue with the Fab 5.) But he was so, so delighted with his new nice things - like the antique Italian glasses and martini set. And then, disaster - the go smashing to the floor, kaboom! His distress was just horrible to watch - he kept saying "No, no, that was the coolest thing ever" and even worse, while sweeping up, saying "this is why you don't buy nice things, this is why you don't buy nice things." Being a firm believer that one should (i) have nice things, (ii) use them regularly and enjoy them, and (iii) therefore never have things SO nice that, if they die, you become so distraught that you begin repeating over and over "this is why I don't have nice things" like an autistic with OCD, I was really wrenched by that performance. Again, I may be a materialistic monster, but I, too, have gotten so attached to occasional things that, when they die, I feel real pain.

Jai's face when he found the schlub's kid's "He-Man, Masters of the Universe" sword in a closet. The expression on his face when it lights up and says "I HAVE THE POWER!!!!" was priceless.

I know. I want one.

Which one is Kyan? (and how do you pronounce it? like the pepper?) Is he the "grooming" guy?

he is the grooming guy. It appears to be pronounced "KHAI-in"

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
[excellent tell-off]

or just make up a number and rent from that store.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
How to avoid telemarketers in three words or less. Lose your groundline.

I get no unwanted calls now that I am pure cellphone. Its great.

Yup, did this in 2000.

And here's a link to the Sport's Guy's mailbag: http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/030924.html

My Favorites:

On Gordon Jump:

"And where was the tribute to the late Gordon Jump on yesterday's page? Here's a guy who guest-starred in the creepiest sitcom episode of all-time -- nearly molesting Arnold and Dudley on "Diff'rent Strokes," terrifying an entire generation of kids in the early '80's -- and he doesn't even get mentioned in the Daily Quickie? The man had Dudley's shirt off, for God's sake!"

On uncomfortable movie moments:

Honorable Mention: Gene Hackman planting one on Barbara Hershey in "Hoosiers" ... everything that happened during Adrian's coma in "Rocky 2" ... every scene with Bruce Willis and his girlfriend in "Pulp Fiction" ... Mr. Holland singing to his son in "Mr. Holland's Opus" ... every scene with Michael Corleone and his girlfriend before Sonny got shot ... the ending of "He Got Game" ... the answering machine scene from "Swingers."


Special Mention: The three-way hug from "The Battle of Shaker Heights" that ended up getting chopped out of the movie, but supplied us with a great name for a roto team.


Runner-up: The scene near the end of "The Breakfast Club" when they're dancing to the Wang Chung song, then Emilio Estevez smokes some pot -- so he runs around the library, shuts himself in the music room, then screams at the top of his lungs, shouting so powerfully that he shatters the glass window. I still can't believe this happened.


Winner: The scene in "Beautiful Girls" when everyone sings "Sweet Caroline." And it's not just because the whole scene is so forced, you actually feel sorry for the actors as it's happening. It's just so cliched and awkward, and you just want it to end, but it keeps going, and everyone's trying to seem so damned happy ... God, I'm getting the shakes just thinking about it. Plus, the Sports Gal loves this scene and we've actually fought about whether it's good or not. This one brings everything to the table.


(By the way, is the chorus to "Sweet Caroline" running through your head right now? Good. Now you know how I feel.)"

On Teen Wolf:

"Q: Why is Mick allowed to stand under the basket while Scott Howard shoots his free throws at the end of "Teen Wolf?" This has always bothered me. -- Dave Baksi, Mechanicaburg, Pa


SG: Wait a second ... out of all the things that happened in "Teen Wolf," THIS was what bothered you?"

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
1) what is "golem"?

Are you sure you're Jewish?

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
or just make up a number and rent from that store.

Actually, a friend, who is foreign and was living here illegally for a time (with no social security number) did this all the time. He not only had a video card, he had bank accounts, a credit card and a lease. If ever there was proof positive that the fucking number is useless to the assholes who ask for it, I think that is it.

I don't actually know if he amended the info when he finally got legal.

Edited to say: Thurgreed, I didn't know we had so much in common in the peeve/paranoia department. Cool.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
His multiple uses of the kitchen towel while making the canapes?

This is a pet peeve of a friend of mine (I don't know if this is exactly on point, because I didn't see the show, but whatever.)

You know in the deli when the sandwich guy makes a big show of wiping off the area where he's going to make your sandwich? Does the guy think that wiping it off with that skank-ass rag (the one he's been using all day to wipe up God-knows-what -- his nose, perhaps) is going to make you feel like the conditions are really hygienic and sanitary? I thought not.



Edited to fix spelling error in critical word -- but many thanks to Atticus for memorializing my error forever.

Also, since when are we able to delete posts? Cool.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
And to return to a topic of another day, I now realize that my action figure would be the personal finance educator and scam artist terminator. I don't know what such an outfit would look like -- impeccably tailored but conservative wool suit (navy pinstripe or charcoal gray?), spike heels for kicking the scam artists (and payday lenders, credit insurance hawkers, mortgage companies that charge you $375 to process biweekly payments for you, anybody who asks you for your social security number when it's not necessary, the list goes on and on) Armani glasses, perfectly coiffed hair, Quicken software, and an amortization table, maybe?

Baby, you have got me sooooo hot right now.

[Someone's Evil Twin]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I insult both of us by doing this, but the golem was a mythical clay automaton of European Jewish folklore --- a "made man," if you will. Inspired millions of nightmares and the Frankenstein novel.

Atticus Grinch: Goy Eye for the JAP Girl

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by dtb
This is a pet peeve of a friend of mine (I don't know if this is exactly on point, because I didn't see the show, but whatever.)

You know in the deli when the sandwich guy makes a big show of wiping off the area where he's going to make your sandwich? Does the guy thin that wiping it off with that skank-ass rag (the one he's been using all day to wipe up God-knows-what -- his nose, perhaps) is going to make you feel like the conditions are really hygienic and sanitary? I thought not.

Watch the show. You're in for a treat.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
I like to say, I'm very interested in that -- wait just a minute while I find my wallet. Then I set down the phone.

When the wonk monster was small, I used to give him the phone. He'd usually babble for a couple of minutes, then grin and let loose with an ear-splitting squeal of laughter.

Even now I think of all the deafened telemarketers and smile.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by taxwonk
When the wonk monster was small, I used to give him the phone. He'd usually babble for a couple of minutes, then grin and let loose with an ear-splitting squeal of laughter.

Even now I think of all the deafened telemarketers and smile.

They caught on to that trick years ago.

Once you hand the phone over, they start teaching him bad words, and telling him to hide his dad's keys.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Is there someone creepier on tv?

Ron Popeil is a tie.

Edited to add "for second," b/c Tony Robbins wins first place. Thanks, Coltrane.

It's fucking Don Lapre, but I'm unable to provide an image of his smarmy mug telling you how to make big money by taking out thousands of tiny classified ads. TM? Help a gent out?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I insult both of us by doing this, but the golem was a mythical clay automaton of European Jewish folklore --- a "made man," if you will. Inspired millions of nightmares and the Frankenstein novel.

The golem also figured prominently in the plot of Kavalier and Clay, which I had thought was a mandatory selection on the FB reading list.