Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

So what the hell do you do when the girlfriend has put on some lbs!!?? There is no way I'm saying ANYTHING, although I constantly am reminded of her weight increase (she's put on about 10-15 lbs) from her subtle comments like "I'm a fatty" and "don't look at my fat ass".

Just the other day she asked me how much a certain ex-girlfriend weighed, and I didn't want to tell her (103 but she was TINY)...I know this sounds shallow but I have a huge aversion to fat, especially since this whole country is grotesquely obese...

FYI, she's great in all other aspects. She keeps telling me she needs to lose weight. I, of course, am not going to overtly agree - I don't want her to get a complex. Additionally, I have received hints of an eating disorder in college, and in no way do I want her to starve herself...

Your thoughts?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by evenodds
In honor of April Fools Day:

Have you ever been the victim or the perpetrator of a particularly good practical joke?

I have, on both sides.

Last year I took a coffee cup, cut out the bottom, placed it on a friend's desk and filled it with uncooked rice before putting the lid on top. When the sucker...um...unsuspecting victim lifted the cup to throw it out, voila et voici! rice all over his desk.

Unfortunately for me, he then decided to fill all of my drawers with rice, which makes finding pens and other things somewhat difficult.

Unfortunately for him, someone (and I'm not saying if it was me or not, although I have a pretty good idea) filled his drawers, pen holders, cups, etc. with sugar. That must have been hard to clean up.

Also, a few years back now, I had a friend who had just passed the bar. He was very excited about it. I decided he was too excited about it. Let's say his name is Mike Smith. I called him and left a message in my most official sounding voice that there had been a mistake with the exam results and although he had received confirmation of a passing grade, the notification he received was supposed to have gone to a Mike Smithe. I apologized for the confusion and left my work number for him to call back to ask questions. He didn't make the connection and called back frantic. Needless to say, he was somewhat relieved (but surprisingly pissed) when he heard me (and his wife, also a friend of mine who worked in the next office over) laughing our asses off.

Thurgreed(SI's "Sidd Finch" was a good one too)Marshall

[evenodds]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous So what the hell do you do when the girlfriend has put on some lbs!!?? There is no way I'm saying ANYTHING, although I constantly am reminded of her weight increase (she's put on about 10-15 lbs) from her subtle comments like "I'm a fatty" and "don't look at my fat ass".

Just the other day she asked me how much a certain ex-girlfriend weighed, and I didn't want to tell her (103 but she was TINY)...I know this sounds shallow but I have a huge aversion to fat, especially since this whole country is grotesquely obese...

FYI, she's great in all other aspects. She keeps telling me she needs to lose weight. I, of course, am not going to overtly agree - I don't want her to get a complex. Additionally, I have received hints of an eating disorder in college, and in no way do I want her to starve herself...

Your thoughts?

My thoughts:

Don't be such a wimp about it.

Either it's a problem for you or it isn't.

If it is a problem for you, tell her. If it's not, tell her to stop whining unless she's going to do something about it.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
[B]Paigow,

"Who wants some pervy leery stranger ogling you."

I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't like the idea that when she passes, heads turn.

"I am not a performance artist or a an object to be ogled."

Then why all the dolling up? Who exactly buys all those copies of Vogue, Elle and Cosmo? Who spends a load on moisturizers, makeup, haircuts, manicures, pedicures, waxings? Who spends hours picking out bathing suits, dresses, etc... Come on. Of course you want to look as attractive as possible.

Clearly, you've never been leered at or otherwise street harassed by some perv. This includes the assholes in suits who have to impress their coworkers with their manliness by hassling us.

And am I supposed to wear a fucking burka so that a guy won't make some disgusting comment? If the guys can't control themselves, why not simply restrict them to their houses instead of limiting my life? Has it occurred to any guy that I might be dressing up to impress my friends or for myself that day, and don't care if he's attracted to me? Are you asking to be mugged by wearing that nice watch?

You don't usually piss me off sebby but this was just ignorant.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
So what the hell do you do when the girlfriend has put on some lbs!!?? There is no way I'm saying ANYTHING, although I constantly am reminded of her weight increase (she's put on about 10-15 lbs) from her subtle comments like "I'm a fatty" and "don't look at my fat ass".

Just the other day she asked me how much a certain ex-girlfriend weighed, and I didn't want to tell her (103 but she was TINY)...I know this sounds shallow but I have a huge aversion to fat, especially since this whole country is grotesquely obese...

FYI, she's great in all other aspects. She keeps telling me she needs to lose weight. I, of course, am not going to overtly agree - I don't want her to get a complex. Additionally, I have received hints of an eating disorder in college, and in no way do I want her to starve herself...

Your thoughts?

Are you anon because your fat ass gf is a lawyer and/or reads these boards? Because if not, it shouldn't be anon.

It's too bad weight is such an issue with women. I think it is with guys too, to a certain extent, but not nearly as close. I would give her some time. I'm sure she's picking up on your aversion. She should remedy it. If she doesn't, you'll have to say something. If she can't handle it or thinks it's mean, tough. You shouldn't be expected to be with someone you're not attracted to.

And to preempt all of the "What? 10-15 pounds isn't that much! Certainly not enough to comment on" comments which are soon to come, fuck that. You don't like what you don't like. If you can deal with it, cool. If not, you shouldn't have to.

TM

[bilmore]

Back in high school, I had this cool little overpowered foreign car that we used for off-road (lumber trails) racing for a bit. ( I think I paid fifty bucks for it, and then made it run.)

On April 1st, a friend tossed a smoke bomb in the front on the floor, (no big deal - carpet was gone, and the inside looked like . . . well, like an off-road racing vehicle), and yelled to me (inside the cabin) that "your car is on fire!" I ran outside, to find several friends trying not to laugh.

Should have been hilarious. Unfortunately, the seat started on fire, then the plastic interior, and finally the whole thing went up. We just backed up and watched while the tires flamed and exploded, and then the gas tank went.

The look on friend's face as the car went up almost made it worthwhile.

Almost.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
So what the hell do you do when the girlfriend has put on some lbs!!?? There is no way I'm saying ANYTHING, although I constantly am reminded of her weight increase (she's put on about 10-15 lbs) from her subtle comments like "I'm a fatty" and "don't look at my fat ass".

FYI, she's great in all other aspects. She keeps telling me she needs to lose weight. I, of course, am not going to overtly agree - I don't want her to get a complex. Additionally, I have received hints of an eating disorder in college, and in no way do I want her to starve herself...

Your thoughts?

My suggestion: tell her (if you can pull this off plausibly), "I think you look great, but if you're not happy with how you look, why not start a sensible diet/exercise program?"

At least, that's what I tell my husband if he asks me if he's fat -- he's a little sensitive about his weight.

Believe me, her weight gain has not gone unnoticed by her either. If she did have an eating disorder, she is undoubtedly only too aware of how much she weighs, her clothes are tighter, etc. Denying that she's put on weight won't solve anything -- ([one of] my own personal foible[s] is that when I've put on weight and my husband says I haven't I get so pissed off!!), but making her feel badly about it won't win you any points -- and could do damage.

In sum: Encourage the diet/exercise program while reaffirming to her that she looks great to you.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
So what the hell do you do when the girlfriend has put on some lbs!!??

Get the bikes out, and start riding together. Walk places that are close. Run up stairs with her. Stop buying and sharing the hot fudge sundaes. Switch to healthier foods, so she does too.

In short, make it a groupthink thing. If fat bothers you, share the pain in banishing it.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by evenodds
My thoughts:

Don't be such a wimp about it.

Either it's a problem for you or it isn't.

If it is a problem for you, tell her. If it's not, tell her to stop whining unless she's going to do something about it.

I might take a more delicate approach. Start suggesting that you go to the gym together. Try going to yoga classes or spinning classes or something. It's a great way to bond and it can be pretty fun with a good partner. You know, someone to share the agony with.

Make it seem like YOU need her to be there for you because it's just too hard to get to the gym when you'd rather be spending time with her.

This may sound manipulative, but there's something to be said for being NICE and not directly telling someone you like spending time with that he or she is fat.

[str8outavannuys]

I had to deal with this; both my s/o and I had put on a lot of weight in 2002. I have trouble being direct about stuff like that, but being the ass that I am, I couldn't refrain from making a few comments like "maybe we should skip dessert tonight" or, "let's go for a walk/go to the gym" today, or, in the less tactful vein, "are you really going to eat that whole container of dip?"

Anyways, we really had it out while on vacation in December, as she had had enough of my passive/aggressive comments, and I'd had enough of the weight gaining. Now, we've been on Atkins for 90 days and we're back to the weights we were at when we met (I'm a little less, actually).

If I could go back in time, I'd be less passive/aggressive and more honest and direct, but I suck at that . . .
str(waiting for the Jays to score their first run)8.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I have put my first poster on the ignore list. More like a non-someone.

Le ignoré, c'est moi? It certainly hurts to be a non-someone when the competition for H.R.H.'s attention are Penske socks.

As for practical jokes, when I did my first trial, I was trailing for an available courtroom on three-hour notice. The morning of the second day, I got a phone message saying the clerk had called and giving a department number. I nearly shat myself, and immediately called the client and all the witnesses telling them to be in the courtroom in less than three hours. I ran around the office like a madman getting everything ready. My supervising partner intercepted me in the parking lot, saying it had been a joke and the clerk hadn't called yet. I would have hauled off an hit him, but he was bigger than me and had played rugby. I had to call the client and say that it had been a mixup in the clerk's office, which was true only in the most literary sense.

Apropos of nothing, I've decided that the only reason the Bible calls homosexuality an "abomination" is that the ancient Hebrews hadn't yet heard Fleetwood Mac, which would have put the word into proper perspective.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Are you anon because your fat ass gf is a lawyer and/or reads these boards? Because if not, it shouldn't be anon.

It's too bad weight is such an issue with women. I think it is with guys too, to a certain extent, but not nearly as close. I would give her some time. I'm sure she's picking up on your aversion. She should remedy it. If she doesn't, you'll have to say something. If she can't handle it or thinks it's mean, tough. You shouldn't be expected to be with someone you're not attracted to.

And to preempt all of the "What? 10-15 pounds isn't that much! Certainly not enough to comment on" comments which are soon to come, fuck that. You don't like what you don't like. If you can deal with it, cool. If not, you shouldn't have to.

TM

I posted anon b/c I sound like a dick. Maybe I AM a dick.

[str8outavannuys]

Can anyone help me with a list of songs about (preferably female) movie stars? I heard the original Candle in the Wind, and started trying to think of more. I haven't come up with very many:

Candle in the Wind
Uptown Girl
and the best of my short list:
One-Eyed Fiona (Julia Roberts -- sample lyric: "Her daddy's gone to heaven/her momma won't like you/her brother he's crazy/just might bite you").

Any more?

[dtb]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Apropos of nothing, I've decided that the only reason the Bible calls homosexuality an "abomination" is that the ancient Hebrews hadn't yet heard Fleetwood Mac, which would have put the word into proper perspective.

I know I'm not allowed to say this (but up yours, Thurgreed -- ducking for cover), but my secretary just asked me if I was ok in here, as I just snorted so loudly laughing at this little gem. (I'm so lady-like.)

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Paigow,

"Who wants some pervy leery stranger ogling you."

I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't like the idea that when she passes, heads turn.

"I am not a performance artist or a an object to be ogled."

Then why all the dolling up? Who exactly buys all those copies of Vogue, Elle and Cosmo? Who spends a load on moisturizers, makeup, haircuts, manicures, pedicures, waxings? Who spends hours picking out bathing suits, dresses, etc... Come on. Of course you want to look as attractive as possible.

"Now, talking to you directly, of all people, I would think you would know that fake tits just arent classy."

I used to think so, until a friend of mine got them. She looks pretty damn good, and they look damn real. I made fun of her and she said "Who are you to judge?" I was left without comment. Where did I get the right to judge? Besides, "classy" is a fluid definition. You're not insinuating they don't do fake tits in greenwich, are you? If you are, I can offer a whole lotta contrary evidence. Yes... the folks who sip gin on sunday afternoon in seersucker do get plastic surgery, and lots of it.

"Since you are so into that whole thing, I would think you might share the love on this one. At least as far as women in your life are concerned."

I'm a reformed snob. And I'm not into fake tits - I just happen to recognize that my judgmental attitude was misplaced and unfounded. Hell, if I get fat someday, I'm going to get that shit sucked right out of me. Why the fuck not? Life's short.

"You are a classy guy, right?"

I know which forks to use.

"But yes, I have serious breast envy. Big time. That's it."

Hey, its a plausible theory.

S(I like the fact that chicks with fakes don't have to wear bras - that's just so... titillating [god, that's cheap of me])D

Until you are a woman, you cannot imagine how annoying and objectifiying it is to have men stare at your body. Just flagrantly stare. Which is bad manners by the way. The thought of having some dirty old man jerking off to an image of my breasts later in the day grosses me out. And that is what differes it from haircuts, makeup, whatever. Men view the breasts as a sex organ(s), which is incorrect. I dont want some strange guy mentally or literally masturbating to me. Its gross. And I am not so insecure, that it is the kind of thing that makes me feel better about myself, proves I am a beauty, etc. I am smarter than that, darlin. You want to tell me you are dumbstruck by my razor sharp cheekbones? Go right ahead. I suspect you wont whack off to them later.

As for fake tits and class, name one woman of a certain class who had the foreign objects stuck into her tits. Nouveau riche? Certainly, but not the nonflashy, modest types who represent what class truly is. Fake tits are antithetical to class, by definition. Plenty of trash lives in Greenwich. Most of them overflowing from Westchester. Just go to Dome on Greenwich Ave for a sample. Its been all over for Greenwich since Saks came in. Why do you think my parents moved?