Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones! - Page 180

Replaced_Texan · 10-03-2005, 04:58 PM

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Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Oh my god. That's the funniest thing I've read today.

She and Vanessa totally need to work together.

nononono · 10-03-2005, 05:01 PM

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Originally posted by Sparklehorse
I happened to read this Janice Dickinson interview the other day and she says that the ANTM winners will never be working models.

Interview here

Wow. She usually bugs me being so affected - but I liked her in that article. I still think she is deluded about how well known she is, though.

barely_legal · 10-03-2005, 05:05 PM

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Originally posted by paigowprincess
I don't? With the right airbrushing and makeup? I don't think so.

It's good to have self-confidence. It's not so good to be completely delusional.

ltl/fb · 10-03-2005, 05:06 PM

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Originally posted by nononono
Wow. She usually bugs me being so affected - but I liked her in that article. I still think she is deluded about how well known she is, though.

I didn't recognize her name, and I know who Twiggy is. I mean, her name sounded vaguely familiar, but I think I was thinking Angie Dickinson.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-03-2005, 05:08 PM

Women Have To Stop Starving Themselves Past The Point Of Hotness

Avoiding eating in order to improve your appearance is part of being a woman, and it's natural for a woman to devote all of her time to achieving a figure pleasing to the male eye. While there are many ways to get hot, one of the simplest, fastest, and most effective is through self-starvation. However, anorexia, like all things, is best used in moderation. For example, you should never get so thin that you lose your tits.

I've seen it time and time again: A woman of "normal" weight buys a scale, tapes pictures from W magazine to her refrigerator, draws a weight chart on her bathroom mirror, and makes a commitment to subsisting on iced tea and steamed broccoli. She resists the temptation to cheat, and slowly, her will power is rewarded: The butterfly emerges from its chrysalis. The pounds melt off, and she is undeniably hot.

But then, sometimes, inexplicably, something goes wrong. Rather than maintaining her new slim, sexy body through marathon training and obsessive calorie counting, a woman will continue to shed pounds, starving herself—dreadfully, heartrendingly—way past the point of hotness.

Reality check, ladies: If your ass resembles your scapula, you are in the danger zone. That kind of thing is not attractive.

It's like I told my ex-girlfriend Lisa: Feminine fragility is a plus, but if I actually snap your arm while having sex with you, you've gone too far. A woman should have a pleasingly light, impossibly fragile appearance, much like a piece of fine china, but if her body has begun digesting the calcium in its bones to sustain its necessary functions, there is a good chance she has starved herself beyond the point where I would even want to have sex with her at all.

Fat on the upper arms, hips, or waist is a turn-off, but there should be a thin matting of fat underneath the skin to prevent a man from being able to make out your skeletal system. A lot of girls don't know this, but slightly rounded, healthy appearing limbs are sexier than rail-thin ones, provided a man can still wrap his hands around your waist. Women like the emaciated thing, but guys actually like it if a girl's upper thigh is a shade wider than her knee.

It's heartbreaking to see a chick who's too anorexic. Don't get me wrong, because a little bit is a plus, but when I see a too-anorexic chick, I always imagine her spending night after night running on her treadmill, trolling the Internet for diet tips, doing stomach crunches in her cubicle, eating head after head of iceberg lettuce—all the while tragically unaware that, at her weight, she could probably be eating 1,000 calories a day. At least 700. Ironically, all her work has left her so crazy skinny, she's as desirable as that fat cow Kate Winslet.

Ladies, if you are suffering from too much anorexia, I urge you, in the name of all that is alluring, increase your calorie consumption by about 10 percent. Treat yourself to a bite of your boyfriend's sandwich. Drink a glass of skim milk. See what happens. You might see your ribs filling out a little, and that might frighten you, but please remember: We men like a woman who's obsessively fit and trim, but no one wants to bang a concentration-camp prisoner.

Harness the power of your misery and poor body image. You've got a good thing going with that. But just don't go too far.

10-03-2005, 05:10 PM

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Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Oh my god. That's the funniest thing I've read today.

Many choice quotes. Omarosa is Mister Ed. Balki is a "gimp motherfucker" and this" No, but where I go they go. Without Duke and Gabriel I am nothing. I am fake, fake, fake. I need my hair and makeup team; I’m not sitting around barefaced under fluorescent light for no one, honey.

So fake, yet so real. I am still not sure why she got fired from ANTM. Wasnt being a bitch the point?

Hank Chinaski · 10-03-2005, 05:10 PM

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Originally posted by ltl/fb
I didn't recognize her name, and I know who Twiggy is. I mean, her name sounded vaguely familiar, but I think I was thinking Angie Dickinson.

Liz Sheridan?

So the NYT tells me that Seinfeld's mom was the great love of James Dean's life. And my first thought is that the 45-50 years since when they were together, and when I first saw her as Jerry's mom, must have been tough years. James Dean had to be dating way high end hipster chicks right?

Wrong. Here she is in 1965.

she was as ugly, just younger. So anyway, it turns out James Dean was very deep, and went beyond the surface.

http://www.lizsheridan.com/

And it wasn't a Barbra Striesand thing becasue he was dating Liz in 50-53.

nononono · 10-03-2005, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I didn't recognize her name, and I know who Twiggy is. I mean, her name sounded vaguely familiar, but I think I was thinking Angie Dickinson.

exactly. I still haven't heard of her outside that show and resulting press/followups.

10-03-2005, 05:15 PM

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Originally posted by barely_legal
It's good to have self-confidence. It's not so good to be completely delusional.

OK, this conversatio is over.

LessinSF · 10-03-2005, 05:19 PM

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Originally posted by str8outavannuys
I'll give you a 5 team teaser this week. (For those of you who don't know, a teaser is a bet that you get to add a certain number of points to the spread in your favor, but you have to take multiple teams, and the payout is complicated.

Cinci -9.5 (+6.5)
Indy -7 (+6.5)
San Diego +4 (+6.5)
Tampa -6.5 (+6.5)
Carolina -7.5 (+6.5)

If you're feeling shy, or don't want to wait until Monday night, or don't want to bet against Brett Favre, then drop the Panthers out and make it a 4 teamer.

I think the 3 sure things are SD, Tampa and Indy on this one.

Good suggestion, but I went 4-0 on mine anyway (Oakland -3, Philly +1.5, Washington -1.5, and Cal -16.5). Roll on you Bears!!!

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-03-2005, 05:20 PM

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Originally posted by paigowprincess
OK, this conversatio is over.

Thank fucking god.

barely_legal · 10-03-2005, 05:24 PM

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Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Thank fucking god.

Yes, let's talk some more about baseball, please! Or maybe you can repost some more articles from The Onion! I don't know what I would do if you weren't around to repost shit from free websites for us. One week you actually forgot to repost Dan Savage's column (you must have been on your deathbed!) and I had to go to my browser and type in "TheOnion" all by myself and then I had to click on two more additional links before I finally found my way to his column. It was exhausting!

Shape Shifter · 10-03-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Many choice quotes. Omarosa is Mister Ed. Balki is a "gimp motherfucker" and this" No, but where I go they go. Without Duke and Gabriel I am nothing. I am fake, fake, fake. I need my hair and makeup team; I’m not sitting around barefaced under fluorescent light for no one, honey.

So fake, yet so real. I am still not sure why she got fired from ANTM. Wasnt being a bitch the point?

I enjoyed this one:

"I know who I am. I worked for Vogue."

robustpuppy · 10-03-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nononono
Wow. She usually bugs me being so affected - but I liked her in that article. I still think she is deluded about how well known she is, though.

I agree on both points. I especially liked

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Caprice is not a supermodel. She’s some girl who developed a fake accent after moving to England, like Madonna.

ltl/fb · 10-03-2005, 05:27 PM

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Originally posted by robustpuppy
I agree on both points. I especially liked

I have never heard of Caprice.

I think the paigow/bl conversation should continue. It's way more interesting than baseball.