Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
My sister's lab (it's always labs isn't it?) at about nine months old had to be rushed to the vet after dining on a dead squirrel. It wasn't even his first trip to the vet after something he ate.* The DD, having shared the meal, suffered from the squirts but otherwise showed no ill effects.



*That honor goes to the seran wrapped sandwich he ate about three hours after I finally went to sleep after having just finished the Texas Bar Exam and not having slept well in about three weeks and at all in the previous three days. He was three months old, and my sister needed someone to keep her calm as she discovered that he liked the hydrogen peroxide she was pouring down his throat to get him to throw up.

He ate a dead mouse a few weeks ago, and refused ipecac (he knows what it is now). I think he ate a cooked chicken bone on Monday. I'm surprised he's lived this long, and that's not even counting the number of times people have actively wanted to kill him.

My post-college roomate's puppy ate:

1. About $50 worth of marijuana (doesn't sound like a lot, but that's a lot of pot for a dog that weighs less than 10 pounds). He was fucking stoned out of his mind and we were both petrified that he would die. My friend took him to the vet, but at that point, he had to just ride it out. He just kept leaning over, drooling and had his eyes 3/4th shut.

2. A Shishkebab stick. Whole. Mind you, the stick was about 80% the length of his body. He was in tremendous pain, couldn't move at all. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. The x-rays the vet took were unbelievable.

3. About $75 worth of weed (my roomate was a big smoker). Apparently he had a good high the first time and needed more to maintain once he got bigger.

My roomate never trained that damn dog, so if he could reach it, he would eat it. That, combined with the fact that he was a slob and smoked with a bunch of other bluntheads on sega league night, who then all ordered a bunch of shit, ate it and left everything lying around after they finally passed out at 6:30 am, did not make for a healthy combination.

TM

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by tmdiva
Okay, so my fil is visiting. My problem: he has really bad aim. I don't know if it's because he's not wearing his glasses or if he just doesn't care that much, but it's really really bad. Like, drips down the front of the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet, visible stains on the toilet rug--you get the picture. I don't clean my own toilets, and he doesn't use the master bathroom, so it wouldn't be a problem except that he shares a bathroom with my son, who in spite of my best efforts has not yet learned that the toilet apparatus is not something you should feel free to touch all over.

Is there anything I can do about this?

tm

Scientific studies have shown that if you put a target of some sort in the urinal/toilet, that most men will actually try and aim at it. This is mainly correct, I believe.

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have had both platonic guy friends and boyfriends with this issue. What's the deal with that? Could someone please explain to us sitting pee-ers how it is possible not to notice this? I give a bit of a pass to my friend who typically only peed outside the lines when he was sleepwalking, but otherwise what is a plausible excuse?

What's deal with this response is the real question? And by peeing outside the lines, do you mean peeing outside of the boundary of the entire restroom?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
What's deal with this response is the real question? And by peeing outside the lines, do you mean peeing outside of the boundary of the entire restroom?

You shouldn't have let e/o loosen the speaker wire.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Scientific studies have shown that if you put a target of some sort in the urinal/toilet, that most men will actually try and aim at it. This is mainly correct, I believe.

Pops can't see, and is probably peeing half-asleep. There's the problem.

Put the wipes there and tell him sonny keeps rubbing at the toilet- tell him there're pee drips and its probably sonny's fault, but would he help by looking at the toilet and wiping it (to clean up sonny's mess) when he's in there.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
My post-college roomate's puppy ate:

1. About $50 worth of marijuana (doesn't sound like a lot, but that's a lot of pot for a dog that weighs less than 10 pounds). He was fucking stoned out of his mind and we were both petrified that he would die. My friend took him to the vet, but at that point, he had to just ride it out. He just kept leaning over, drooling and had his eyes 3/4th shut.

2. A Shishkebab stick. Whole. Mind you, the stick was about 80% the length of his body. He was in tremendous pain, couldn't move at all. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. The x-rays the vet took were unbelievable.

3. About $75 worth of weed (my roomate was a big smoker). Apparently he had a good high the first time and needed more to maintain once he got bigger.

My roomate never trained that damn dog, so if he could reach it, he would eat it. That, combined with the fact that he was a slob and smoked with a bunch of other bluntheads on sega league night, who then all ordered a bunch of shit, ate it and left everything lying around after they finally passed out at 6:30 am, did not make for a healthy combination.

TM

An ex-BF had a great dane that he never trained. Dane ate his own dog bed. The vet filled 10 five-gallon buckets with foam during surgery and was surprised the dog didn't die b/c the foam expanded in his stomach.

The Dane also had a pillow fight with himself while the boyfriend was living in a rental house. The owner had two down sofas in the house, and the Dane took every single cushion - that's 12 -- off each sofa and flopped them about until they were dead. We opened the door to the house one late afternoon to find the inside covered in feathers. It was like a fucking chicken house in there.

It cost the BF $1200 to replace all those cushions, and he still never trained that enormous, stupid, unbelievably sweet dog.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
What's deal with this response is the real question? And by peeing outside the lines, do you mean peeing outside of the boundary of the entire restroom?

Depends. Is there yellow tape at the restroom door?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Average at best, but I did like the docudrama hookers part. My favorite episode this season was the one with Kenny Schiavo and Cartman's BFF healthcare proxy.

Imitating that guy's voice and his bizarre rhymes about hos . . . I can't stop laughing. But again, it's not really funny if you haven't seen the HBO documetary.

You're right about the BFF episode. Classic. Did you see the Daily Show BFF reference on the Presidential-Friend-O-Meter?

Friends with Benefits
BFF
Guy I Swordfight With In The Men's Room

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Scientific studies have shown that if you put a target of some sort in the urinal/toilet, that most men will actually try and aim at it. This is mainly correct, I believe.

In my next life I really do want to come back as a man and remember my life as a woman. It would be such fun.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
My post-college roomate's puppy ate:

1. About $50 worth of marijuana (doesn't sound like a lot, but that's a lot of pot for a dog that weighs less than 10 pounds). He was fucking stoned out of his mind and we were both petrified that he would die. My friend took him to the vet, but at that point, he had to just ride it out. He just kept leaning over, drooling and had his eyes 3/4th shut.

3. About $75 worth of weed (my roomate was a big smoker). Apparently he had a good high the first time and needed more to maintain once he got bigger.

TM

I'm sure this poses something of a dilemma for the PETA people.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall 2. A Shishkebab stick. Whole. Mind you, the stick was about 80% the length of his body. He was in tremendous pain, couldn't move at all. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. The x-rays the vet took were unbelievable.

Meat is murder!

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
My post-college roomate's puppy ate:

1. About $50 worth of marijuana (doesn't sound like a lot, but that's a lot of pot for a dog that weighs less than 10 pounds). He was fucking stoned out of his mind and we were both petrified that he would die. My friend took him to the vet, but at that point, he had to just ride it out. He just kept leaning over, drooling and had his eyes 3/4th shut.

2. A Shishkebab stick. Whole. Mind you, the stick was about 80% the length of his body. He was in tremendous pain, couldn't move at all. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. The x-rays the vet took were unbelievable.

3. About $75 worth of weed (my roomate was a big smoker). Apparently he had a good high the first time and needed more to maintain once he got bigger.

My roomate never trained that damn dog, so if he could reach it, he would eat it. That, combined with the fact that he was a slob and smoked with a bunch of other bluntheads on sega league night, who then all ordered a bunch of shit, ate it and left everything lying around after they finally passed out at 6:30 am, did not make for a healthy combination.

TM

My god was that dog a cocker spaniel? Because I had a boyfriend whose cocker not only ate my panties, but ate a full bag of his roommate's weed. And his roommate was such a pig, that the dog got ahold of a 1 lb. bag of M&Ms. It made her throw up all day. But the whole box of Hostess O's did not.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Pops can't see, and is probably peeing half-asleep. There's the problem.

Put the wipes there and tell him sonny keeps rubbing at the toilet- tell him there're pee drips and its probably sonny's fault, but would he help by looking at the toilet and wiping it (to clean up sonny's mess) when he's in there.

I've been pretty blind drunk before at bars, but give me a target in the urinal, and I'm like a blind zen master. By force of will, my piss ends up in the urinal. At least the times I remember to unzip the fly.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Imitating that guy's voice and his bizarre rhymes about hos . . . I can't stop laughing. But again, it's not really funny if you haven't seen the HBO documetary.

You're right about the BFF episode. Classic. Did you see the Daily Show BFF reference on the Presidential-Friend-O-Meter?

Friends with Benefits
BFF
Guy I Swordfight With In The Men's Room

I've seen the documentary. Still didn't help the episode that much.

I think I missed The Daily Show BFF reference.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
My god was that dog a cocker spaniel? Because I had a boyfriend whose cocker not only ate my panties, but ate a full bag of his roommate's weed. And his roommate was such a pig, that the dog got ahold of a 1 lb. bag of M&Ms. It made her throw up all day. But the whole box of Hostess O's did not.

so the dog ate bitter, salty and sweet?

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Depends. Is there yellow tape at the restroom door?

I believe there may be some chance it was a scale, working model of a clothes hamper or something like that. In any event, the yellow tape would not even be in the field of vision at that point.

The more interesting question would be what would you do if you woke up after having passed out drinking a ton of beer the night before and the owner of the random apartment you are at is locked in the only bathroom for a seemingly 10 hour long shower, and the apartment is on the second floor and has a balcony? Theoretically, of course.