Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
I don't get why he thinks a dark apartment will protect comic books and stormtrooper helmets. (I'll have to try that)

Anyhow, besides the other disqualifiers (gains weight in face), he's evidently been passed over by several educated, attractive-but-still-single Jewish women pushing 40, even though he's probably got some money. This shiksa ignored the biggest red flag evah.

You have no romance in your soul. He never married because he compared every other woman he met to HER.

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Chicken in a Biskit crackers. I used to eat them by the box. I have finally reached the point where I don't even see them in the store anymore.

<Sniff.>

Coincidentally (not ironically), I had a box of those bad boys in my hand the other day while I was gathering provisions at the store. I opted for something else. Those things are mighty tasty.

[nononono]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
Coincidentally (not ironically), I had a box of those bad boys in my hand the other day while I was gathering provisions at the store. I opted for something else. Those things are mighty tasty.

Which reminds me...is there any polite way whatsoever to correct someone (whose feelings you don't particularly want to hurt) who says "ironic" when such person sometimes means "cool" and sometimes means "coincidental"? Assume these aren't the only language infractions and a willingness on the part of the speaker to accept correction, but a desire on my part not to be a drag about it all.

[patentparanyc]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,244004,00.html

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by nononono
Which reminds me...is there any polite way whatsoever to correct someone (whose feelings you don't particularly want to hurt) who says "ironic" when such person sometimes means "cool" and sometimes means "coincidental"? Assume these aren't the only language infractions and a willingness on the part of the speaker to accept correction, but a desire on my part not to be a drag about it all.

Please provide an example.

(eta: no. no polite way.)

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by nononono
Which reminds me...is there any polite way whatsoever to correct someone (whose feelings you don't particularly want to hurt) who says "ironic" when such person sometimes means "cool" and sometimes means "coincidental"? Assume these aren't the only language infractions and a willingness on the part of the speaker to accept correction, but a desire on my part not to be a drag about it all.

Maybe: "Is that ironic or coincidence? I always get that mixed up ever since Alanis Morrisette made the wrong use of it in 90% of the examples in her song. Here's how I think it works..."

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by nononono
Which reminds me...is there any polite way whatsoever to correct someone (whose feelings you don't particularly want to hurt) who says "ironic" when such person sometimes means "cool" and sometimes means "coincidental"? Assume these aren't the only language infractions and a willingness on the part of the speaker to accept correction, but a desire on my part not to be a drag about it all.

Say:

"How so?"

In other What to Say news, this particularly useful tidbit is from todays Miss Manner's column.

Dear Miss Manners:

From the row in back of me on a flight I took yesterday, I overheard a man say, to the two young women sitting there, "Hi! My name's Frank. What are your names?"

After a noticeable pause, the two women answered with their first names.

I would not have wanted to give my name under the circumstances but couldn't think of a polite way, if I'd been the one asked, to decline to do so. How can you turn a guy like this off?

By whispering, "I'm traveling incognito. Please don't give me away. Pretend you don't know me."

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
You have no romance in your soul. He never married because he compared every other woman he met to HER.

Am I a sap because I did find their story sweet?

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Maybe she's the top?

Let's hope so. There is nothing more repulsive than doing a fat boy. I once let friends convince me a guy I'd been dating was "big boned"; "just a big guy"; a "bear of a man". You know. All the excuses men seem to get away with that women don't. He was always in a suit and seemed to have broad shoulders so one night I decided to take the plunge. Bad mistake. No such thing as big boned. Just fat. And on a man, it's really femmy and gross. Scarred for life.

I'll be needing that trip to CVS/Duane Reade now.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Am I a sap because I did find their story sweet?

Yes, but I'm not sure that's the reason.

xxoo

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Am I a sap because I did find their story sweet?

Was it the argument on the street in the rain that did you in? Because no love story is complete without an argument on the street in the rain. See, e.g., About Last Night.

[nononono]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Please provide an example.

(eta: no. no polite way.)

Sigh. I didn't think so. This is very trying. Minor, but not. A partial paraphrase: "Yes, I looked at that [astrology thing*]. There are many aspects that are accurate. That's really ironic. Cool."

Another: "Oh, you and my sister were in the same sorority. That's kind of ironic."


*Indulge me.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by dtb
Another food poll topic (I was going to post this even before I saw Coltrane's most excellent inquiry, the answer to which is, of course, after):

What is nature's most perfect trashy snack?

My vote is for Combos. Those things are disgusting. And perfect in every way.

Fritos w/chili cheese dip.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Say:

"How so?"

In other What to Say news, this particularly useful tidbit is from todays Miss Manner's column.

Dear Miss Manners:

From the row in back of me on a flight I took yesterday, I overheard a man say, to the two young women sitting there, "Hi! My name's Frank. What are your names?"

After a noticeable pause, the two women answered with their first names.

I would not have wanted to give my name under the circumstances but couldn't think of a polite way, if I'd been the one asked, to decline to do so. How can you turn a guy like this off?

By whispering, "I'm traveling incognito. Please don't give me away. Pretend you don't know me."

I just lie. "My name? LaToya." (Sometimes my fake name is Fenestra.)

I was recently on a plane seated next to a guy who asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was an attorney.

"Wow," he said, "You're smart. That's really sexy. Men dig smart girls, you know."

To which I replied "Really? Then why'd I pay all this money for these new tits?"

Another fake name story: When I lived in LA, a parking valet at the Cheesecake Factory in Redondo Beach once asked for my phone number. I gave him a fake name and my real number. (See how smart I am?) My roommates and I changed our outgoing message on the answering machine to include a new, fifth roommate with my fictional name. I actually went on several dates with this guy using my fake name. After a while, I realised I'd like him better if he didn't speak. The girl with the fake name moved away shortly after that.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I hope she caresses his chest and murmurs, "they're real, and they're spectacular."

Somewhere, and without understanding why, Bilmore just came.