Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
My god was that dog a cocker spaniel? Because I had a boyfriend whose cocker not only ate my panties,

Wow, that dog had a healthy appetite.

Flinty, picking on the helpless/obvious target since 1970.

eta:

not as witty as Hank, but the thought was there

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
so the dog ate bitter, salty and sweet?

No, her bf's cocker did.

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
My god was that dog a cocker spaniel? Because I had a boyfriend whose cocker not only ate my panties, but ate a full bag of his roommate's weed. And his roommate was such a pig, that the dog got ahold of a 1 lb. bag of M&Ms. It made her throw up all day. But the whole box of Hostess O's did not.

I will note for the record that, in my view, the decline of US society is due mainly to the inability of the population to secure its drugs from dogs, cops and hanger-ons.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
If you were going to a Billy Idol concert tomorrow night, and you have something to do tonight thereby rendering it impossible to shop, AND you got an e-mail from your concert companions with the following instruction: BE SURE TO DRESS YOUR PART, what would you wear when you meet your friends for drinks at 7:15 tomorrow evening?

Assume concert companion ended her e-mail with "I’m getting out my white wedding dress and glue on tattoos as we speak!"

Wear as much leather as you've got, and if you can find any chains, wear them all. And the hair gel. Rip a t-shirt. You're there.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
I believe there may be some chance it was a scale, working model of a clothes hamper or something like that. In any event, the yellow tape would not even be in the field of vision at that point.

The more interesting question would be what would you do if you woke up after having passed out drinking a ton of beer the night before and the owner of the random apartment you are at is locked in the only bathroom for a seemingly 10 hour long shower, and the apartment is on the second floor and has a balcony? Theoretically, of course.

Potted plants?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I've been pretty blind drunk before at bars, but give me a target in the urinal, and I'm like a blind zen master. By force of will, my piss ends up in the urinal. At least the times I remember to unzip the fly.

So your suggestion to tm is to install a urinal? I've not seen that in a residential structure smaller than a dormitory.

I'm cancelling your walk-through for Home Again. I don't care what you say your chainsaw skills are, Bob Villa would not be impressed.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I'm glad my lab doesn't do that. I had her at the dog park once when a neighborhood golden ate a kid's scarf there and had to be rushed to the vet. The 12 year old to whom the golden belonged ran home (lucky duck, his house was next to the park, you could tell he thought of the whole place as his backyard) and we could hear him yell, "Mom, Bogey ate something again!" 2 minutes later we hear the front door slam see the Volvo wagon heading down the street with the dog in the back. The following week I had my pup in the vet for her checkup and somehow the story of the golden came up. It was his FOURTH surgery. Previous conquests were a bra, a sock, and a hat.

A woman I know from the dog park had Dobies. One day the topic of missing socks came up. Whenever she did laundry socks would disappear. A few day later one of her Dobies was doing the usual and sock remnants appeared. They didn't clear on the first pass. We were tempted to pull it out but another of our group was a vet and she said that was a bad idea. It took a few more passes for the sock to clear.

I should head back over to that dog park. Interesting characters over there.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
My post-college roomate's puppy ate:

1. About $50 worth of marijuana (doesn't sound like a lot, but that's a lot of pot for a dog that weighs less than 10 pounds). He was fucking stoned out of his mind and we were both petrified that he would die. My friend took him to the vet, but at that point, he had to just ride it out. He just kept leaning over, drooling and had his eyes 3/4th shut.

2. A Shishkebab stick. Whole. Mind you, the stick was about 80% the length of his body. He was in tremendous pain, couldn't move at all. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. The x-rays the vet took were unbelievable.

3. About $75 worth of weed (my roomate was a big smoker). Apparently he had a good high the first time and needed more to maintain once he got bigger.


TM

Did anybody ever consider just smoking the dog at some point?

Originally posted by Mr. Man
The more interesting question would be what would you do if you woke up after having passed out drinking a ton of beer the night before and the owner of the random apartment you are at is locked in the only bathroom for a seemingly 10 hour long shower, and the apartment is on the second floor and has a balcony? Theoretically, of course.

Piss in the sink. We're walking over here fer chrissakes.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Potted plants?

A shrubbery?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
A shrubbery?

My landscaper advised me to have the dogs pee on the clover to kill it.

[NotFromHere]

Bennifer redux:
Affleck, Garner engaged

He's got a thing for girls named Jennifer.
And engagement rings.



They met while shooting the action flick "Daredevil," but didn't begin dating until 2004. Their lone public appearance together has been a trip to the 2004 World Series in Boston.

The marriage would be Garner's second. The 33-year-old "Alias" star was divorced from actor Scott Foley in March 2004.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
I will note for the record that, in my view, the decline of US society is due mainly to the inability of the population to secure its drugs from dogs, cops and hanger-ons.

I always thought The Drug Problem was dealers not answering their phones.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
A woman I know from the dog park had Dobies. One day the topic of missing socks came up. Whenever she did laundry socks would disappear. A few day later one of her Dobies was doing the usual and sock remnants appeared. They didn't clear on the first pass. We were tempted to pull it out but another of our group was a vet and she said that was a bad idea. It took a few more passes for the sock to clear.

I should head back over to that dog park. Interesting characters over there.

Who is penske?

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Did anybody ever consider just smoking the dog at some point?

Hard to keep lit.