Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by dtb
Oh yeeees. It is called the "double genitive" construction (i.e, "a friend of my father's" or "a friend of mine"). Although some object to its usage, the construction has been used in English since the 14th century and serves a useful purpose. It can help sort out ambiguous phrases like "Bob's photograph", which could mean either "a photograph of Bob" (revealing his image) or a photograph in Bob's possession. "A photograph of Bob's", however, can only be a photo that Bob has in his possession and may or may not show Bob's image!

One of my favorite grammar books (Woe is I) says both are correct, but when a pronoun is used, make it a possessive (duh!):
a friend of his, not a friend of him.

IMHO, it should be disfavored except as necessary to avoid ambiguity.

But that's probably sour grapes.

MM, I just want you to be happy, and if Mira is what it takes to make you happy, I will do my utmost to see you together.

[dtb]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
The heiress to the hot-blond tennis throne? Maria Sharapova:

Damn! Look at those quads! She's definitely prettier than Anna Kournikova -- who has a great body, but her face is weird.

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by dtb
Oh yeeees. It is called the "double genitive" construction (i.e, "a friend of my father's" or "a friend of mine"). Although some object to its usage, the construction has been used in English since the 14th century and serves a useful purpose. It can help sort out ambiguous phrases like "Bob's photograph", which could mean either "a photograph of Bob" (revealing his image) or a photograph in Bob's possession. "A photograph of Bob's", however, can only be a photo that Bob has in his possession and may or may not show Bob's image!

One of my favorite grammar books (Woe is I) says both are correct, but when a pronoun is used, make it a possessive (duh!):
a friend of his, not a friend of him.

Apparently YOU could be with Mira. That would be a good spectator sport.

[notcasesensitive]

TM,

I thought I should post this for you in the spirit of our discussion regarding to tell or not to tell:

Cary Tennis's (hi Atticus!) column today:

Dear Cary,

I recently discovered that my husband has tried to contact some of his old lovers via e-mail. I've hesitated to bring this up to him, as I was technically snooping when I discovered this. I also recognize that it could be very innocent. I feel hurt that he has kept this from me. Why not talk openly about his desire to touch bases with old flames? If one's intentions are honorable, then it doesn't have to be a threatening situation.

While I've been tempted (through idle curiosity) to Google old loves, I've never taken the next step of actually contacting them, mainly because it always seemed like broadcasting the message "Hey you, I'm thinking about you now, and that means that I'm not really happy in my current relationship, because if I were totally satisfied then I wouldn't be reaching out to you."

Is this a sign that he is dissatisfied and unhappy in our relationship? I know that we are both dissatisfied and unhappy in our lives -- he's been struggling with a career change for four years, and I've increasingly gained weight. We're making significantly less money then we made two years ago, and are overwhelmed by credit card debt. We both feel like failures in very gender-specific areas.

I've recently been whitewater kayaking on the weekends, which inspires me, but also takes me away from him for two days at a time. He's responded by going out to bars alone on the weekends that I am gone. He's always been a voyeur, enjoying going out and people-watching and writing about it. So I've chosen not be threatened by that behavior, although it does strike me as an interesting way to react to his wife leaving him alone.

Despite all of this, we do have a lot of love for each other, and are able to connect in very meaningful ways. We both value closeness and loyalty.

Is his attempt to connect with old flames a red flag? Should I be concerned that he is heading off into dangerous territory? I know that I should be asking him about this, but we have had similar conversations, with him becoming extremely defensive. I want some other perspectives before I attempt to discuss this with him.

Worried Wife

His answer was basically that they should be confronting their problems together instead of doing so separately. He sidestepped the "should I be worried about the secret correspondence" part of the question. http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/20...ues/index.html

Anyone have some different advice?

[SlaveNoMore]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Well then, shut up about it until then.

TM

The transcript is now on the net. And you're right, it's a fucking riot.

Albeit unintentionally.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
TM,

I thought I should post this for you in the spirit of our discussion regarding to tell or not to tell:

Cary Tennis's (hi Atticus!) column today:



His answer was basically that they should be confronting their problems together instead of doing so separately. He sidestepped the "should I be worried about the secret correspondence" part of the question. http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/20...ues/index.html

Anyone have some different advice?

How did she check the emails? Can this be done with PMs and IMs also? Just curious.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
How did she check the emails? Can this be done with PMs and IMs also? Just curious.

If you have your im set to archive, yes it can be checked. If you have your LT account set up so it automatically logs you in, yes.

For emails, most programs have a sent folder. She probably just looked in there.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by leagleaze
If you have your im set to archive, yes it can be checked. If you have your LT account set up so it automatically logs you in, yes.

For emails, most programs have a sent folder. She probably just looked in there.

I know who's getting her own computer for her birthday!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Cary Tennis's (hi Atticus!) column today:

"I recently discovered that my husband has tried to contact some of his old lovers via e-mail. I've hesitated to bring this up to him, as I was technically snooping when I discovered this. I also recognize that it could be very innocent. I feel hurt that he has kept this from me. Why not talk openly about his desire to touch bases with old flames? If one's intentions are honorable, then it doesn't have to be a threatening situation.

While I've been tempted (through idle curiosity) to Google old loves, I've never taken the next step of actually contacting them, mainly because it always seemed like broadcasting the message "Hey you, I'm thinking about you now, and that means that I'm not really happy in my current relationship, because if I were totally satisfied then I wouldn't be reaching out to you."

Is this a sign that he is dissatisfied and unhappy in our relationship? I know that we are both dissatisfied and unhappy in our lives -- he's been struggling with a career change for four years, and I've increasingly gained weight. We're making significantly less money then we made two years ago, and are overwhelmed by credit card debt. We both feel like failures in very gender-specific areas.

I've recently been whitewater kayaking on the weekends, which inspires me, but also takes me away from him for two days at a time. He's responded by going out to bars alone on the weekends that I am gone. He's always been a voyeur, enjoying going out and people-watching and writing about it. So I've chosen not be threatened by that behavior, although it does strike me as an interesting way to react to his wife leaving him alone.

Despite all of this, we do have a lot of love for each other, and are able to connect in very meaningful ways. We both value closeness and loyalty.

Is his attempt to connect with old flames a red flag? Should I be concerned that he is heading off into dangerous territory? I know that I should be asking him about this, but we have had similar conversations, with him becoming extremely defensive. I want some other perspectives before I attempt to discuss this with him.

Worried Wife"

His answer was basically that they should be confronting their problems together instead of doing so separately. He sidestepped the "should I be worried about the secret correspondence" part of the question.

Anyone have some different advice?

Uh, yeah. This bitch is in denial. He is cheating on her, not just with old flames, but with brand new ones too. But that doesn't answer your question.

If things are great in your relationship and he meets up with an old flame without telling you and you find out, but know that it was just a one-time dinner, then it was probably not a big deal.

If things aren't and he's secretly reaching out to old flames, then the old flame isn't the problem.

If things are good, but he's meeting up with an old flame regularly, then you need to be on the lookout and the old flame probably has something else in mind, even if he doesn't. That's a situation that needs to be monitored.

I forgot the original context of our conversation, so if you remind me what we were arguing about specifically, I'll have more to say, I'm sure.

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
The transcript is now on the net. And you're right, it's a fucking riot.

Albeit unintentionally.

Whatever. You're being intentionally hard-headed because you are hard headed.

TM

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
One guiding principle in my life is to minimize the number of nuts who have extreme grudges against me, or here at least not make the grudge worse.

Psst. Ix-nay on-way e-thay aiting-bay of-way idd-Say on-way e-thay B-Pay.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Uh, yeah. This bitch is in denial. He is cheating on her, not just with old flames, but with brand new ones too.

TM

Have you been taking reading comprehension lessons from fringey? He's been going through a "career change" for four years. That means that since the last summer olympics this guy has taken an IT class that led to 2 layoffs, was a substitute teacher, and in now trying to sell algae "nutritional supplements" to his friends and family. The only way he's getting something new is if he's buying it, and he hasn't sold enough algae pills for that. He has to resort to old flames who remember him as he once was, a loser-to-be, rather than the plain old loser he is now.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Have you been taking reading comprehension lessons from fringey? He's been going through a "career change" for four years. That means that since the last summer olympics this guy has taken an IT class that led to 2 layoffs, was a substitute teacher, and in now trying to sell algae "nutritional supplements" to his friends and family. The only way he's getting something new is if he's buying it, and he hasn't sold enough algae pills for that. He has to resort to old flames who remember him as he once was, a loser-to-be, rather than the plain old loser he is now.

My reading comprehension is indeed poor. I went back and reread his voyeuristic tendencies. So, you have a point. But he has money to buy alcohol, right? You can't be too soft on these people.

TM

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You can't be too soft on these people.

TM

Billy Ray?

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
the 13 year old face was wife's in middle school. It wasn't that complicated a story fringe.

This smacks of that movie Cape Fear. Next he'll be emailing your daughter telling her, "I bet your parents don't really understand you; I do: let's talk."

You or your wife should pretend to be your daughter and engage the guy in some talk that will nail him for pedophilia. Even arrange (fake) to have your daughter meet him somewhere, and instead have the cops show up. Better yet, you should get the feds or local state police to get involved in the sting. This guy's going down, but not in the way he hopes he's going down.