It's all about me

[john123]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
1) Count's really fruity polls. (does anybody remember when he asked us to all describe kisses that made our toes curl?)

2) circa dragon. he was the hottest poster who I had no idea what he looked like

Golly gosh gee whiz Paigs, thanks for the mammaries….er…memories. The Count, indeed, that old sod, he still owes me money or some metal furniture (old skool joke)

Anywhichway, for y’alls info, in exactly 14 hours, give or take a couple of minutes, I will celebrate my 9th year of posting on greedy associate internet chatting boards.

Given that I am 45 years old, that means……OMFG…..I have been digging this scene for one fifth of my adult life!! Holy cannoli! That’s almost 25%!!!

OTOH, imagine if I was like young Master Coltrane, who rumour has it joined this board at the age of 19. When his 9th anniversary comes, npi, he will have been here well over a third of his natural life!!!!

Given my longevity and impeccable old skool cred, its odd that I no longer know any of the board’s contemporaneous members personally! IRL, iykwim. Given my consistent presence, I should know some, I would suppose……..

OTOH, this whole internet style chatting board phenomenon is a constant mystery, ever evolving, kinda weird. One generation passes the torch to another, so to speak and over time I forget more and more about the original Prodigy.Net crew and their descendants on Yahoo. And this place is a whole new FB compared with Chef’s era on the Infirmation Nation. New members swarm and the old ones move on. Partnership, GC positions, kids, trophy wives, no time.

I guess my point is that notwithstanding all that, and as different as this place feels to an old skool diva like me, its nice to know that there are still fellow old skoolers like Paigs (or is it Jenna J?!? LOL!!!-old skool joke alert) and Lessinmengele (or something like that) (old skool joke alert) that I "know" and that I'm still talking with on a cybercomm basis over the internet in the land of the worldwideweb.

cheers!

[Dave]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
You'll find me holed up in a Residence Inn with pages from the Bible taped to the walls.

I'm speculating here, but it could be that one or two posters on Politics wouldn't be that surprised if the above happened regardless of who wins in November.

p.s.: Good call. (Revelations 22:10)

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Oh, great. If Kerry is elected and appoints some dude named Thorne as Ambassador to the Court of St. James, I'll be worried. But if that Ambassador then proceeds to have a son named Damien, that shit is fucked up and I am outta here. You'll find me holed up in a Residence Inn with pages from the Bible taped to the walls.

Whatever happened to taking responsibility for the effects that your chosen candidate reaps?

[ltl/fb]

It's another hot one here in TX. Why oh why oh why do I live here?

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
A friend of mine was groped by Frontier Goofy at Disney Land a few years back. The picture was hysterical. She was more amused than upset by it.

Scotish Goofy was frisky with me when I was 16 and visiting Disney World. I never thought to sue though. Actually, like most 16-year-old girls, I found it flattering. I think I was even blushing in the picture I have with him/her (I always suspected it was a woman under the costume).

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Scotish Goofy was frisky with me when I was 16 and visiting Disney World. I never thought to sue though. Actually, like most 16-year-old girls, I found it flattering. I think I was even blushing in the picture I have with him/her (I always suspected it was a woman under the costume).

I wanted to grope Jasmine, but I restained myself. Of the Princesses she is by far the hottest. I'm not talking the cartoons, I mean the flesh and blood walking around Disney. Belle, Cinderella pretty sure, but Jasmine's costume makes all the difference.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Scotish Goofy was frisky with me when I was 16 and visiting Disney World. I never thought to sue though. Actually, like most 16-year-old girls, I found it flattering. I think I was even blushing in the picture I have with him/her (I always suspected it was a woman under the costume).

I got a hand job from a giant penguin at a friend's high school graduation.

No wait, that was Chris Farley in "Billy Madison"...

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by SEC_Chick
Did you see the stuff on there. It's enough to kill most FBers. The scariest thing to me was there air travel tips:

http://www.naafa.org/documents/brochures/airtips.html

Do we really want anyone encouraging the fats to sit in exit rows? And I like how it gives them tips on what to do if during meal time if they are too fat to put down the tray. Of course it's not encouraging them to skip a meal or anything.

This is the worst advice:

ARMREST UP - When you get to your seat during pre-boarding, raise the armrest between seats. This may give you the inch or two of extra space you need. The chances are that the passenger who will be seated next to you won't say anything; if he does, smile pleasantly and say that you'll both be more comfortable if the armrest is up.

I fucking hate it when some stranger has the armrest up and thinks that I will sit down next to him/her. I don't care what the reason is for putting it up. I don't like people enough to put up with some person I don't know touching me (except Goofy, of course... if you read these boards, Goofy, PM me!). I don't consider myself particularly fattist, but I firmly believe that if you can't fit into your seat on an airplane, you should buy yourself a second seat. If you can't afford it, I'm sorry, but I bought the right to all of the space on and in front of my seat.

And for fuck's sake, If I'm crammed in the middle seat, someone let me use a fucking armrest. I hate it when the windows and aisles take up two each.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
This is the worst advice:



I fucking hate it when some stranger has the armrest up and thinks that I will sit down next to him/her. I don't care what the reason is for putting it up. I don't like people enough to put up with some person I don't know touching me (except Goofy, of course... if you read these boards, Goofy, PM me!). I don't consider myself particularly fattist, but I firmly believe that if you can't fit into your seat on an airplane, you should buy yourself a second seat. If you can't afford it, I'm sorry, but I bought the right to all of the space on and in front of my seat.

And for fuck's sake, If I'm crammed in the middle seat, someone let me use a fucking armrest. I hate it when the windows and aisles take up two each.

I must have the best luck when flying. I'm never next to the fattie or the screaming baby or in the middle seat (knock on wood). This is probably a good thing, b/c I'm not sure I could restrain myself from saying something. Especially if the armrest is up. I'm putting that fucker down. If your fat gets stuck in it, too bad.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive


And for fuck's sake, If I'm crammed in the middle seat, someone let me use a fucking armrest. I hate it when the windows and aisles take up two each.

I've always taken the few that it's an unwritten right that the person in the middle seat gets both armrests. You stuck in the middle--you should at least get the crumb of the extra armrest.

[Spank Myasski]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I wanted to grope Jasmine, but I restained myself.

The center piece of the puzzle. At yet it's still gross. How could you do that at Disney of all places?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by SEC_Chick
Did you see the stuff on there. It's enough to kill most FBers. The scariest thing to me was there air travel tips:

http://www.naafa.org/documents/brochures/airtips.html

Do we really want anyone encouraging the fats to sit in exit rows? And I like how it gives them tips on what to do if during meal time if they are too fat to put down the tray. Of course it's not encouraging them to skip a meal or anything.

This was rich:

"If you cannot bring down the tray-table, have the flight attendant ask the passenger in front of you to put their seat to the full upright position for mealtime. If this doesn't help, set a pillow on your lap, and your meal tray on the pillow..."

I love the use of the term "meal time".

The vanilla language is killer.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I got a hand job from a giant penguin at a friend's high school graduation.

No wait, that was Chris Farley in "Billy Madison"...

"Oh, I see what's goin on here... I see what's goin' on..."

Shot of penguin drinking martini in girlfriend's house.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I must have the best luck when flying. I'm never next to the fattie or the screaming baby or in the middle seat (knock on wood). This is probably a good thing, b/c I'm not sure I could restrain myself from saying something. Especially if the armrest is up. I'm putting that fucker down. If your fat gets stuck in it, too bad.

I've never had the great big fattie either, but a friend of mine had a huge fat, smelly sweaty guy all the way to the left coast once. I'm looking for the email he sent regarding the incident. It was pretty funny, and I believe will out me as a plagiarist on most of my fat jokes...

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
This was rich:

"If you cannot bring down the tray-table, have the flight attendant ask the passenger in front of you to put their seat to the full upright position for mealtime. If this doesn't help, set a pillow on your lap, and your meal tray on the pillow..."

I love the use of the term "meal time".

The vanilla language is killer.

We fatties like to refer to it as "see how many pounds I can pack onto my already overloaded frame" time.

What else would you call it besides meal time?