imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
1. one Cappucino flavor auto-drip coffee beverage
(here's a depiction of the packet that goes into the coffee machine; I'm discussing those single-serving, the-serving-doesn't-fill-up-a-styrofoam-cup coffee machines that are now in law firm kitchens across this great country, for those following along at home)
________
\............../
.\............/
..\........../
...--------

2. one packet sugar-free hot chocolate
3. one half n half creamer

Directions: prepare coffee per instructions on machine; dump 1/4 of coffee from cup in order to have adequate room for hot chocolate portion; dump hot chocolate mix into coffee cup; add 5-6 oz water; add half n half; stir; enjoy.

Only downside for non-coffee drinkers is the high coffee breath potential. Make sure to have some mouthwash for post-yummy beverage office conferences.


[ET fix artwork; diagramming is hard b/c extra spaces added to messages don't show up in actual posts.]

That does sound delicious! Some crafty lawyer should write a cookbook that incorporates ingredients found in a law firm kitchen/

I am thinkkng a lite movie flavored popcorn tomato soup might be good

Recipe:

one package lite movie flavored popcorn.
one package campbells dried out tomato soup in a packet.
water

1) Pop popcorn at the preset "popcorn" button time
2) Add however much hot water you need to make soup. Maybe a little less, as this might be better slightly viscous.
3) dump soup into largest paper bowl in the kitceyhen/
4) dump as much popcorn as will fit into the bowl.
5) Stir and enjoy

OR instead of 4) , just dump the viscous soup into the popcorn bag. MMMMMMMMm, salty, fake tomatoey deliciousness

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
That does sound delicious! Some crafty lawyer should write a cookbook that incorporates ingredients found in a law firm kitchen/

I am thinkkng a lite movie flavored popcorn tomato soup might be good

Recipe:

one package lite movie flavored popcorn.
one package campbells dried out tomato soup in a packet.
water

1) Pop popcorn at the preset "popcorn" button time
2) Add however much hot water you need to make soup. Maybe a little less, as this might be better slightly viscous.
3) dump soup into largest paper bowl in the kitceyhen/
4) dump as much popcorn as will fit into the bowl.
5) Stir and enjoy

OR instead of 4) , just dump the viscous soup into the popcorn bag. MMMMMMMMm, salty, fake tomatoey deliciousness

Why not just use the soup mix as a powdered flavor packet? some of the popcorn will get no tomato flavor your way, and the rest will get ickily damp.

Geez.

God, I'm hungry.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
JJ is wrong [eta if we are talking about, say, a long, slow ass-fucking]. Spit is, however, great for reviving lube, or if you don't want the lube somewhere because you don't like the taste.

eta But it's not going to sub in for lube for long fuckings. It dries too fast and isn't nearly as slickery.

Since someone has to say it, I'll jump in here.

Mmmmm.... long, slow ass-fucking.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Since someone has to say it, I'll jump in here.

Mmmmm.... long, slow ass-fucking.

You are too late. I have moved on to mmmmmmmm, popcorn.

I don't even like popcorn.

But I think I have cake at home. Mmmmmm, cake.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
“I’m just thankful I have some fancy electronics around the house,” she told the paper when asked about her love life. “People seem shocked by that, but I guarantee you that most women in their 30s or 40s have an electronic friend somewhere within reach for those long, lonely nights, and that applies whether you are married or single.”

People seem shocked by that? Anyone here shocked by that?

Actually, it's one of these: link to luxury adult product site-- No nudity but Might not be SFW,


Blurb:

Jimmyjane takes Tinseltown!

We made our Hollywood debut at a pre-party for the Golden Globes last week and were delighted as the stars welcomed us with open (and perfectly toned) arms.

Some of our glamorous new fans include The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn DiScala and Red Carpet host Melissa Rivers, who each left with Jimmyjane items (and sly smiles). As an article in today’s NY Daily News pointed out , we also did our part to make some Desperate Housewives a little less desperate – Nicollette Sheridan picked up a WINK silk & suede blindfold while Teri Hatcher, who extolled the virtues of vibrators in several recent interviews, went home with a LITTLE GOLD LIMITED engraved with "Trouble". Shortly thereafter, Teri took home a Golden Globe – we'd like to think we had some part in her celebration!

Make it personal for Valentine’s Day.

Fortunately, winning a Golden Globe is not a prerequisite for owning a LITTLE SOMETHING. Visit WWW.JIMMYJANE.COM to order one of our sleek precious metal vibrators and you can take home a little “trouble” of your own. If you order by January 23rd, we can even personalize it for you or a loved one in time for a uniquely memorable Valentine's Day!

[dtb]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
However, I think thats an excellent way to skin two birds with one razor- give gwink a vest made of Slave's shower drainage.

Damn. That's gross.

(The phrase "shower drainage" was enough - but making a vest out of it? Kudos on penning the grossest thing I've read all year.)

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by dtb
Damn. That's gross.

(The phrase "shower drainage" was enough - but making a vest out of it? Kudos on penning the grossest thing I've read all year.)

I had missed that somehow. Thanks eversomuch for bringing it to my attention.

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Why not just use the soup mix as a powdered flavor packet? some of the popcorn will get no tomato flavor your way, and the rest will get ickily damp.

Geez.

God, I'm hungry.

I think it would be too dry and dusty. Perhaps if you used the non-lite popcorn and have the grease capture the tomato granules?

which reminds me, I have been hearing the word "granular" in a business context lately.

Originally posted by dtb
Damn. That's gross.

(The phrase "shower drainage" was enough - but making a vest out of it? Kudos on penning the grossest thing I've read all year.)

I thought chowing box was grosser personally.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I think it would be too dry and dusty. Perhaps if you used the non-lite popcorn and have the grease capture the tomato granules?

Ah; I had missed the use of light popcorn. Not surprisingly, I like the grease.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
which reminds me, I have been hearing the word "granular" in a business context lately.

I find this relatively unannoying. Perhaps I have gone over to the dark side.

[dtb]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I thought chowing box was grosser personally.

That is gross -- but I've heard it before, so it has lost some of the shock value.

You have ventured into heretofore unknown grossness territory. You've a veritable pioneer!

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I think it would be too dry and dusty. Perhaps if you used the non-lite popcorn and have the grease capture the tomato granules?

which reminds me, I have been hearing the word "granular" in a business context lately.

Funny, I have been thinking of using the term "chowing box" in a business context lately. I think it should mean doing lengthy due diligence review, unless you have a better idea.

"Hey Stan, how you been?"

"Oh, okay, been chowing box on the Anderson deal the last few weeks."

p.s. I invented this. Unless you get fired for using the term, in which case Atticus invented it.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Funny, I have been thinking of using the term "chowing box" in a business context lately. I think it should mean doing lengthy due diligence review, unless you have a better idea.

"Hey Stan, how you been?"

"Oh, okay, been chowing box on the Anderson deal the last few weeks."

p.s. I invented this. Unless you get fired for using the term, in which case Atticus invented it.

You find performing oral sex on women tedious?

RT, make sure that gets on the chart.

Originally posted by dtb
That is gross -- but I've heard it before, so it has lost some of the shock value.

You have ventured into heretofore unknown grossness territory. You've a veritable pioneer!

Actually TM, who is clearly on your Ignore List, put the pubic jacket in play with some bizarre disco mitt instead of fur post. I merely was carrying the torch.

Survery: what does your law firm stock in your kitchen?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
“I’m just thankful I have some fancy electronics around the house,” she told the paper when asked about her love life. “People seem shocked by that, but I guarantee you that most women in their 30s or 40s have an electronic friend somewhere within reach for those long, lonely nights, and that applies whether you are married or single.”

People seem shocked by that? Anyone here shocked by that?

Given the enthusiasm for ass-fucking as a topic on this board, I can't imagine you really think anyone here is shocked by that.