Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Who is Debbie again?

She's the one at Reception with the dark roots, the huge TITS!, fuck-me heels, too-tight cropped pants, a low-cut top, and a cheap gold necklace with either her name or an angel resting in her cleavage, just in case anybody missed them the first time she bent over to give the guys a peek at "what could be theirs for the asking."

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, is worse than struggling to mouth a woman's nipple in the dark, licking it and realizing there are stray hairs on it. I can handle every variety of pubic styling. I even find the disco mitt amusingly retro cool (reminds me of 70s Playboys). But nipple hair on women is just plain nasty.

Moral: examine the nips before the lights go out.

I do tend to think discovering ear hair with one's tongue would be worse, especially on a woman, but I'm just guessing here, not speaking from personal experience.

Also, why would it be a struggle to find the nipple in the dark? It shouldn't be that hard to find unless you're in a tangle of bodies and struggling to find the right one.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by ironweed
Isn't there some kind of dietary component to yoga as well? Or can you just eat Jack In The Box all day, show up with your plus-size yoga mat and start farting away?

We fats have to start somewhere. The fat doesn't come off the instant we begin eschewing fast food.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
What do old decrepit chicks look cool in? For future reference.

Definitely not Hummers.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, is worse than struggling to mouth a woman's nipple in the dark, licking it and realizing there are stray hairs on it. I can handle every variety of pubic styling. I even find the disco mitt amusingly retro cool (reminds me of 70s Playboys). But nipple hair on women is just plain nasty.

It's not good on men, either, if they want mouth on the nipples.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by taxwonk
She's the one at Reception with the dark roots, the huge TITS!, fuck-me heels, too-tight cropped pants, a low-cut top, and a cheap gold necklace with either her name or an angel resting in her cleavage, just in case anybody missed them the first time she bent over to give the guys a peek at "what could be theirs for the asking."

Spinsters at the Point: The Seedier Side of Mantrapping.

It's not TV. It's HBO.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Saw this on a pop-up dating service ad. What is Her body language saying?



She's from windsor.

You can fuck me in the ass; no fear of mantrapping here, boys.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Definitely not Hummers.

Nobody looks cool in a Hummer unless s/he is driving it across a desert lined with enemy troops.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by taxwonk
You can fuck me in the ass; no fear of mantrapping here, boys.

Bullshit. I look nothing like that.

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
One that properly falls between paigow and garnier fructis on the list?

Garnier Fructis is my stripper name.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Bullshit. I look nothing like that.

mmmmmm bull

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Moral: examine the nips before the lights go out.

I do tend to think discovering ear hair with one's tongue would be worse, especially on a woman, but I'm just guessing here, not speaking from personal experience.

Also, why would it be a struggle to find the nipple in the dark? It shouldn't be that hard to find unless you're in a tangle of bodies and struggling to find the right one.

1. Much of my sex life has been drunk. Not a bad thing. I can go forever that way, and my bad left shoulder doesn't hold me back.

2. Ear hair does not exist on a woman. That's a sign you have picked up a tranny. demand your $50.00 back.

3. Depends on the breast and the amount of booze injested beforehand.

This all explains why the lights should alwasy remain on. Turning them off kills half the fun.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy

Also, why would it be a struggle to find the nipple in the dark? It shouldn't be that hard to find unless you're in a tangle of bodies and struggling to find the right one.

Nipples are easy to find, but you were clearly never a 15-year old boy. My god, button flies were a dream come true. That one fucking top button on zip flies was always impossible.

Am I ever allowed to think about the sex I had with 15-yr old girl when I was 16?* Is that memory allowed to occur? Or do I have to block it out? What if it just pops into my mind? I'm still only 16 when I think about it, right?

*all ten seconds of it

Originally posted by ironweed
Isn't there some kind of dietary component to yoga as well? Or can you just eat Jack In The Box all day, show up with your plus-size yoga mat and start farting away?

Niiiice. I think you just killed Coltrane's back of the yoga class fetish. Not sure if you killed Tax "the bear" wonk's though.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
1. Much of my sex life has been drunk. Not a bad thing. I can go forever that way, and my bad left shoulder doesn't hold me back.

2. Ear hair does not exist on a woman. That's a sign you have picked up a tranny. demand your $50.00 back.

3. Depends on the breast and the amount of booze injested beforehand.

This all explains why the lights should alwasy remain on. Turning them off kills half the fun.

Okay, #2 is a gigantic whiff.

But you do know that when the guy is drunk, it's not so great for the girl, and that when she tells you it is, she's lying? If you're too drunk to find my (perfectly smooth) nip in the dark, I don't expect much more than sloppy smelly kisses and unsatisfying pounding. And "going forever" -- not always so great.