imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
This reminds me of a deal I was on where, for whatever reason, a bunch of the lawyers on the other side were Mormon. Anyhow, when meetings convened at our offices, I put in a request for herbal teas to be provided with all coffee services. The head partner on the deal asked "why all these fancy teas?" After reassuring him that the client was not being billed any more than for the regular tea we would have provided anyway, I explained that I strongly suspected the other lawyers were Mormon, and in that case couldn't have coffee or regular teas, decaf or not.

The partner then got really weird (can't explain how, he just seemed really freaked out) and asked what made me think they were Mormons. I nearly said "um, the fact that they're well scrubbed, polite and happy all the time?" but instead said "besides the fact that they all seem to have more than 5 kids, several of them have talked about spending their missions in 3rd world countries, one's been explaining geneology resources to his client during down time, and not one has touched a drop of coffee, tea or cola during any of the all-nighters so even if they aren't Mormon it's polite to put out something they might like."

Sure enough, a couple of them started drinking the herbal teas (though a lot of Mormons I know are so used to avoiding all the regular hot beverages that they don't drink herbal teas, either), and the partner watched them bug-eyed for the rest of the deal like he thought they might sprout horns any second. He also seemed really suspicious of the fact that I apparently knew enough about Mormons not just to identify them but to think to adjust to their dietary requirements. North-easterners can be really weird about Mormons, and I dunno why. They weren't that uncommon in the section of the Patch I'm from (a few relations even converted), but a good number of native Yankees I've known seem not just to think they're exotic but to be really freaked out by them.

Hey, speak for your own damn yankees. In Massachusetts, we elected one Governor.

See, Mass. voters are very open minded even when they do dumb shit.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
My impression is "yes." Re: different varieties, it's not more expensive to provide small cartons of different types than it is a larger carton of only one type - people aren't exactly going to use 3x as much milk because they can choose from 3 types. We have the cheapie cup lids, too. But the only person I know who uses the disposable coffee cups in the kitchen is the Mr. when he visits, and he never gets a lid, just one of those plastic stirer things that he leaves on my desk and I find stuck to the underside of some document a week later. Everyone who works here pretty much uses mugs, and coffee service for clients involves china from the cafeteria.

This topic is ineffably boring. This must be true, even for those (unlike me) who (a) drink coffee and/or (b) work in lawfirms. Please resume the ad hominem attacking, even if at my expense. Or should I lead by example?

NCS smells like a rug in the laundry room.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Wonk has been less than 24 hours behind for weeks now, and does anybody notice? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!.

Shit ya. I've been missing Wonk catch-up days. It's sad.

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
This topic is ineffably boring. This must be true, even for those (unlike me) who (a) drink coffee and/or (b) work in lawfirms. Please resume the ad hominem attacking, even if at my expense. Or should I lead by example?

NCS smells like a rug in the laundry room.

Just wanted to say that I see through your preemptive, oh, please adhominem attack me, defenses. Did you learn this at the Yale Moot Court Program?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
We just changed vendors for the bathroom, and the griping has gone up exponentially. The old toilet paper was nice and soft and issued in tissue-like squares. The new toilet paper is not nice and soft and on rolls that never seem to want to stop. The old soap looked like soap. The new soap is foamy stuff that dissolves the second you put water on it. The old paper towels actually absorbed water. The new ones don't, and they're dispensed inadequate square at a time. So you're constantly pulling at the machine to get enough towelage to dry your hands.

State funds are not supposed to be used to buy coffee or anything else that makes employees happy. There's an office coffee fund, but I don't drink coffee so I don't know what the quality is. I imagine it's probably better than if the state bought it. There's a lot of sneaking around in this place from department to department to see who has the better digs. Our old kitchen had a full sink and three microwaves. Our current kitchen is very popular due to the vending machines, though I don't like the smell of the cork floors.

I guess you all are comfortable that Atticus is gone for good. I for one still find this topic potentially explosive.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
This topic is ineffably boring. This must be true, even for those (unlike me) who (a) drink coffee and/or (b) work in lawfirms. Please resume the ad hominem attacking, even if at my expense. Or should I lead by example?

NCS smells like a rug in the laundry room.

Ohhh.... Burn....


[I was going to log in as my rp sock to say this, but I'm too lazy.]

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Just wanted to say that I see through your preemptive, oh, please adhominem attack me, defenses. Did you learn this at the Yale Moot Court Program?

He certainly didn't learn any sort of reading comprehension skillz there.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
damn, we have like eight kinds of free sodas, as well as OJ. tea and all sorts of shit to put in your coffee (though I bring that from home). Nobody gets the ingredients for my popcorntomato soup? bummer.

2. We can order any kind of free soda that we choose and the fridges are stocked the next day with it.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have found the milk purchases to be more prevalent in the NY offices of firms. In other cities, typically the mini moo type products are all ya get (or worse, the powdered shit!). My old firm had saltines in the kitchenettes. Current firm has no food (other than in vending machines), but a great selection of teas. Used to have to bring in my own tea at old firm, 'cause I'm not drinking Lipton everyday. But now I have an ample supply and selection of herbal teas. This makes me happy.

One of the places I did a summer at was my favorite beverage place. They not only had a wide selection of herbal and regular teas, they also had various flavors of crystal light in single-serving packets, cocoa, and cider. And provided *real glasses* to drink out of. But the best part, hands down, was that they had soda vending machines that did not require money. So, you just slap that big plastic button and get the satisfying sound of an icy cold drink tumbling down. I LOVED that. Except that there wasnt' any DDP in the ones on my floor -- so I had to go to another floor, which was a pain in the ass.

Now I don't know what we have because I just go to Starbucks. We definitely don't have free carbonated soft drinks.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
2. We can order any kind of free soda that we choose and the fridges are stocked the next day with it.

Tubular! Why ya wanna leave?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
2. We can order any kind of free soda that we choose and the fridges are stocked the next day with it.

*sniff* I had this for years. I miss it.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by SEC_Chick
Was I smoking crack or did I see a commercial for a prime time special: Dr. Phil with Jonathan and Victoria from The Amazing Race? After reading their website I would love to hear their thoughts on their behavior. Can anyone confirm?

You are correct, sir. He asks Jonathan whether he is an asshole in the trailer.

And someone quits the Apprentice IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES tonight. Of course, I will be on a red-eye to Philly for work. Sebby, if you are lurking, are you around for Happy Hour tomorrow?

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
2. We can order any kind of free soda that we choose and the fridges are stocked the next day with it.

Sounds like that writing sample worked out for you and you got the big money gig. When is Sequels due?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Just wanted to say that I see through your preemptive, oh, please adhominem attack me, defenses. Did you learn this at the Yale Moot Court Program?

Paigow, please trust me when I say that I was being sincere - it's open season.

Oh, and by the way, here at Unnamed Cellar-Dwelling Major Motion Picture Studio, we lawyers get our own fridges and water coolers in our offices (actually both are in my secretary's office, which is attached to mine), and we order what we want (free, of course) from a very lengthy four-page list. I pretty much stick with caffeine-free diet coke, San Pelligrino sparkling, diet sprite, Arizona diet green tea, microwave kettle corn, and vitamin water. But there's every variety of soda, Snapple, Arizona, and water to choose from.

It almost makes up for being paid 1/3 less than my market value.
I bring sodas home by the case load, and sell others on eBay to supplement my income.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Tubular! Why ya wanna leave?

I left. Thanks for the sample writing samples.