Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs

[Not Me]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Okay, I'll play along. How are your breasts and your vagina since giving birth?

Not happy.

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Or like this guy who said "Come on, baby" over and over again, and then whacked my ass. Yeah, that'll do it.

You did the nasty with the real Spank Myasski?

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
You have even more if you count your NFH posts. MR should buy you a drink and a Chaser.

Desired comedic effect has been acheived.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Or like this guy who said "Come on, baby" over and over again, and then whacked my ass. Yeah, that'll do it.

I should be nicer to the people I fuck. They are clearly treasures.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Not Me
I see I still capture your imagination. Carry on.

Nah. Not really. It was a throw away line that I had to include once I decided to clarify that I have no sexual fantasies including Spanky, but I'm sure you already know that. Clever girl that you are.

[Not Me]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have no sexual fantasies including Spanky

So you have no sexual fantasies including any that Spanky stars in or you have no sexual fantasies that Spanky stars in?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Or like this guy who said "Come on, baby" over and over again, and then whacked my ass. Yeah, that'll do it.

That's stupid. Unless you're sb, who would love it for obvious reasons.

The trick with ass-smacking is the caress and the anticipation. Running your fingers very lightly over the general area that will be/has been smacked makes for increased excitement (especially when it's red and a little welted). First you lightly graze the ass with your fingers, just kind of caressing for awhile. Then you stop touching altogether before the smack. I've found that varying the amount of time between smacks, when you're not caressing seems to work best. Then, as soon as that hand gets pulled back, they anticipate being smacked. If they can't tell when it's going to happen, they get a little wild -- sometimes trying to make you smack them. You must resist of course. Otherwise, you lose that anticipation.

TM

[Not Me]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
That's stupid. Unless you're sb, who would love it for obvious reasons.

The trick with ass-smacking is the caress and the anticipation. Running your fingers very lightly over the general area that will be/has been smacked makes for increased excitement (especially when it's red and a little welted). First you lightly graze the ass with your fingers, just kind of caressing for awhile. Then you stop touching altogether before the smack. I've found that varying the amount of time between smacks, when you're not caressing seems to work best. Then, as soon as that hand gets pulled back, they anticipate being smacked. If they can't tell when it's going to happen, they get a little wild -- sometimes trying to make you smack them. You must resist of course. Otherwise, you lose that anticipation.

TM

Jesus fucking Christ will the fucking freak posts from this guy never stop?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I should be nicer to the people I fuck. They are clearly treasures.

My ex-bf walked in on me and the "come on baby" guy. That was fun. (we had broken up but still lived together, and I brought men home thinking he would be at work)

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
My ex-bf walked in on me and the "come on baby" guy. That was fun. (we had broken up but still lived together, and I brought men home thinking he would be at work)

You fucked Lumberg?

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan


After a few times with the "new" way, if he can't learn how to do it right by himself you're going to have to throw him back.

Or in my case, you marry him.

Jeez, was that stupid.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Garnier Fructis? woo woo.

Every time I see the commercial, I start singing to myself:

Knock, knock, knock, who's that? It's Momma, son
Lookin' for the bitch who took the money and run
Now the daylight's gone and there's no more fun
And who's the fuckin' bitch who stole all the heroin?
Heroin, heroin, it's all gone
Smoked it all up, and now you got none


str(it's a wicked world that we live in . . . )8

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Or in my case, you marry him.

Jeez, was that stupid.

You know how your eyes tend to adjust to the dark after a while? Flipping the lightswitch can be startling experience.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
We usually know when you're in the mood to eventually come: you just roll us over onto our backs, jump on and do whatever you like. We usually have no problem with this.

Electric toothbrush. In the bathroom. With the door closed.

In my experience that's not usually true. Usually it's the "legs are going higher up and spreading further apart" move that says "put your arms under my knees and pin me down and fuck the hell out of me while holding my wrists down so I can't move at all until we both come.

Usually works pretty damn good. At least, it did back when I was in the game.

Why do most women have to be encouraged to get on top of me? Is it a laziness issue?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
In my experience that's not usually true. Usually it's the "legs are going higher up and spreading further apart" move that says "put your arms under my knees and pin me down and fuck the hell out of me while holding my wrists down so I can't move at all until we both come.

Usually works pretty damn good. At least, it did back when I was in the game.

Mmmm, body language reading.

Uh, does this not work with your wife? Or is the no sex after marriage thing true for you?