The New And Improved Fashion Board

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Momentarily bored with the water hole? Watch an octopus escape from a box through a one-inch hole.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
OK, I can understand why people would want to have this all the time. It's so soothing, and yet non-impairing.

Oh yes it is. Eat 4. You get slow and sloppy. My sister used to feign anxiety in college to get me that. It's wonderful for work because it's like you have a buzz, but psychologically, you're thinking, "I'm not impaired. This is a drug a lot of people take to cope. It's a legitimate work high."

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
Bitch better have my money.

Is Wayne Grady going to have to choke a bitch?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I have seen him since we hooked up; we worked at the same firm. We weren't only together at a hotel; we had contact after the hookup because we worked at the same firm. It was not pillow talk and he did not offer to clean the hotel bathroom; we worked at the same firm and had contact and even saw each other (not in a romantic/sexual sense) after the hook-up at the hotel. It was during a period of later contact (made possible because we worked at the same firm, and had known each other prior to the contact, and as I mentioned earlier, had contact after the hook-up at the hotel) that he offered the cleaning thing.

The guy was a decent fuck and dug cleaning the house? So any time you wanted some, all you had to do to get him hot was dole out chores? Marry that motherfucker.

I haaaaaate doing housework of any kind. I even hate my wife's friends husbands who do it. They're all out doing fucking yardwork and cleaning the gutters and smiling about it. My wife keeps thinking I'll somehow "mature" into one of them. Those callouses on her hands from planting trees and mulching haven't gotten through to her yet...

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Ah -- I don't think I am cut out for this dominatrix gig. If someone is going to be wearing frilly panties I would want it to be a French Maid.

Submission's underrated. Being on bottom's a delight. So fucking easy...

I'm tempted to use the LL Cool J line from Goin Back to Cali in the future. "Top? But my lower back is killing me."

ETA: Never worn panties, but I did wear a dress for a girl once. Green velvet. She was a natural blonde. Maybe it's your kind.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The guy was a decent fuck and dug cleaning the house? So any time you wanted some, all you had to do to get him hot was dole out chores? Marry that motherfucker.

I haaaaaate doing housework of any kind. I even hate my wife's friends husbands who do it. They're all out doing fucking yardwork and cleaning the gutters and smiling about it. My wife keeps thinking I'll somehow "mature" into one of them. Those callouses on her hands from planting trees and mulching haven't gotten through to her yet...

I love my departed gay* neighbors, but I gotta admit some stuff- this gay couple right next door, with one guy with a green thumb planting all this exotic shit. meanwhile I'm trying to teach my kids about the food cycle so we're growing beans in our front yard- green thumb would snear at me- in a polite way- but still I know he thought little of my yard abilities.

We have a great picture of my daughter standing next to some 6 foot high Malaysian flowers because of them, and when they told us they were moving I was sad because they were good neighbors, but I have to say some small part of me was relieved that my inferior and sporatic yard attention skills would no longer be on trial.

the next summer I rented a rototiller and planted corn between the houses. In the front yard- in suburbia. the new fat hetero neighbors didn't notice.

*you know when thurgreed said he didn't get why people would say "this ___ black guy" when race didn't matter? well the "gay" neighbor adjective does matter to this story. trust me- it's a guy thing.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
*you know when thurgreed said he didn't get why people would say "this ___ black guy" when race didn't matter? well the "gay" neighbor adjective does matter to this story. trust me- it's a guy thing.

I've had gay neighbors. Best kind of neighbors imaginable. They mind their own business, are polite and keep the fucking property perfect. That's a stereotype, but it holds.

The other good neighbors are doctors (never around).

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I've had gay neighbors. Best kind of neighbors imaginable. They mind their own business, are polite and keep the fucking property perfect. That's a stereotype, but it holds.

The other good neighbors are doctors (never around).

best neighbors? my first house i had infirm widows in wheel chairs on both sides. it's like having neighbors on permanent vacation, but they're there if you need to borrow eggs or something.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The guy was a decent fuck and dug cleaning the house? So any time you wanted some, all you had to do to get him hot was dole out chores? Marry that motherfucker.

I haaaaaate doing housework of any kind. I even hate my wife's friends husbands who do it. They're all out doing fucking yardwork and cleaning the gutters and smiling about it. My wife keeps thinking I'll somehow "mature" into one of them. Those callouses on her hands from planting trees and mulching haven't gotten through to her yet...

I know you were just jumping off, but, (a) did I say he was a good fuck? and (b) do you really think it was about him wanting a house to be clean?

OK, I hope it was just a jumping off, because if you don't get the second part, you are dull.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I know you were just jumping off, but, (a) did I say he was a good fuck? and (b) do you really think it was about him wanting a house to be clean?

OK, I hope it was just a jumping off, because if you don't get the second part, you are dull.

You just emptied the pool. I landed on concrete.

But then, it wasn't a good jump anyway. It's all for the better.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
best neighbors? my first house i had infirm widows in wheel chairs on both sides. it's like having neighbors on permanent vacation, but they're there if you need to borrow eggs or something.

Yeah, but their lawn looks like shit and you end up shoveling the walk for them out of guilt.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
That's a stereotype, but it holds.

I love this. You are mainly correct.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Yeah, but their lawn looks like shit and you end up shoveling the walk for them out of guilt.

Fuck em. Those old bats are usually jammed full of dough. Let them pay someone to shovel that shit. I'm not working my ass off to save $50 of their ne-er do well kids' inheritance.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You just emptied the pool. I landed on concrete.

But then, it wasn't a good jump anyway. It's all for the better.

And I would never take 4 xanax. Sheesh. 1/2.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Yeah, but their lawn looks like shit and you end up shoveling the walk for them out of guilt.

I don't care what anyone's lawn looks like, and people* shovel for me.

* not gays, not blacks, russian immigrants usually,