Fashion Board - Muse to the Fucktards

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'll be hanging out and think, "maybe I should masturbate." But then I'll think "fuck... thats so much work." Then I'll start, get distracted and go into the kitchen and eat some trail mix and have a beer. I'll read a magazine and won't get back to masturbating for a hour. By then, I'll feel like going to bed, so I'll just get it over with and hope to pass out.

You think you feel bad now? Just wait until the first time your kid says "mom, dad's in the kitchen eating trail mix with his cock out again." You'll be heading straight for the garage, locking all the doors and starting the engine.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I've never understood the appeal. Doesn't do much for me. Can I be the only one?

Okay, Ty so let's negotiate what works for you?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ironweed
You think you feel bad now? Just wait until the first time your kid says "mom, dad's in the kitchen eating trail mix with his cock out again." You'll be heading straight for the garage, locking all the doors and starting the engine.

I read a GQ interview with Oliver Stone in which he discussed how his dad bought him a hooker so he could losse his virginity and his mother taught him to masturbate.

I get the former, but that latter is just obscene. No woman alive knows how to give a proper hand job.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I've never understood the appeal. Doesn't do much for me. Can I be the only one?

I don't agree with you on politics or mayonaisse, but I'm with you on this.

Nude is best; lose that frilly shit.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't agree with you on politics or mayonaisse, but I'm with you on this.

Nude is best; lose that frilly shit.

I can see that. Most times, guys are most concerned with getting everything off as quickly and as expeditiously as possible, so the rest is superfluous shit.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
lingerie should work. dress it up in lace. heh

You mean jack off with one of those long embroidered Louis XIV gloves?

I don't know. I'm kinda attached to that first baseman's glove. "Dave Kingman...."

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
I can see that. Most times, guys are most concerned with getting everything off as quickly and as expeditiously as possible, so the rest is superfluous shit.

Thats a pretty strong comment, and I don't think you can back it up.

Originally posted by patentparanyc
I can see that. Most times, guys are most concerned with getting everything off as quickly and as expeditiously as possible, so the rest is superfluous shit.

Word of the day calendar?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Wh's been busted? Other than Landis, all the riders expelled were on the basis of suspicions because they were connected to a doping doctor.

As for lance, either he had better masking agents, better drugs, or something about the cancer treatment made him super-human.

2. I sure hope he paid his doctors well. And buried the bodies deep.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You mean jack off with one of those long embroidered Louis XIV gloves?

I don't know. I'm kinda attached to that first baseman's glove. "Dave Kingman...."

No, like the garter belt they throw at wedding wrapped around several times. heh

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
No, but it means you must be a fan of sheryl crow. not sure which is worse.

I am not anti-crow. I am also not anti-Lance or a huge Lance fan, just a realist.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by taxwonk
You need to take yourself out to a strip club. Just you and your stack of twenties.

Strip clubs bore me. I'm not a thrill of the chase kinda guy. Romance is swell, and the buildup is titilating, but it ain't what I'm there for, so spending money to get wound up for no reason makes little sense to me.*

*Even if I had serious float to take home a high end stripper, I probably wouldn't. There's no fun in tagging a pro.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I read a GQ interview with Oliver Stone in which he discussed how his dad bought him a hooker so he could losse his virginity and his mother taught him to masturbate.

I get the former, but that latter is just obscene. No woman alive knows how to give a proper hand job.

maybe you could do clinics for $1000 a pop?

"mom-dad, no need for you to teach junior proper stroke tricks."

get you out of the law gig!

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I've never understood the appeal. Doesn't do much for me. Can I be the only one?

I don't think you are. In my survey sample (the men I've had sex with) men seem more interested in nakedness than laciness.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Strip clubs bore me. I'm not a thrill of the chase kinda guy. Romance is swell, and the buildup is titilating, but it ain't what I'm there for, so spending money to get wound up for no reason makes little sense to me.*

*Even if I had serious float to take home a high end stripper, I probably wouldn't. There's no fun in tagging a pro.

back in the hunter-gatherer days, don't you think those guys would have liked a restaurant on the corner, down by the waterhole, you know for the odd day off?