Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by purse junkie
OJ gets his own show:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/0...son/index.html

I'm flabbergasted.

What are you talking about? That's fucking great! An Osbournes-styled reality show, with OJ? Where do I tune in? We'll get to watch:

1. OJ's continuing search for the "real killer".

2. We might get to scope out his knife collection.

3. You know, sooner or later this guy's going to fuck up and admit something, or we'll get a rather frightening look at his temper up close and personal. If we're lucky, both.

4. OJ wiping blow from his nostrils as he exits the bathroom.

5. How much control do you think he'll have over what goes in and what gets edited out of the show. He can't possibly stay on his best behavior forever.

I can't wait. I can't wait.

spookyfish

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by leagleaze
I think we should go back to talking about sexual positions.

Like in the Kama Sutra. Some of those positions look pretty near impossible. How flexible would you have to be?

Daaamn.


Hey, I found an illustrated guide! http://www.kamasutrafree.com/

(It's an illustrated guide to the kama sutra, what do you think it contains. That's right STICK FIGURES)

The MR edition?

[SlaveNoMore]

ThurgreedMarshall
You sound more and more like a lunatic every day. Did paigow give you the wackadoo equivalent of SARS?

Being on the wagon is killing me. Thank god that ends this weekend.

not7y(and remind yo mama to take the penicillin)S

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Being on the wagon is killing me. Thank god that ends this weekend.

not7y(and remind yo mama to take the penicillin)S

That explains it. Good. PLEASE drink. I am begging you.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Being on the wagon is killing me. Thank god that ends this weekend.

not7y(and remind yo mama to take the penicillin)S

This weekend? Lent's over. (Unless, of course, you're Eastern Orthodox).

[Connect_the_Dots]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Look at the Shi'ites right now bleeding all over themselves on this pilgrimage in Iraq and calling for the death of the Sunnis. Not true followers of Islam, they say.

Yeah, it would be really really funny if we weren't spending billions on those savages in the hope that they will soon grasp the principles of Locke and Ludwig von Mises and stop killing each other because their mullahs told them to. I swear, sometimes I think that people who read the Koran are dumber than the people who watch Oprah or read Kant. But no one is dumber than people who read Kant.

They're all fooling themselves into believing "their way" is better than the other.

religion is stupid

Reminds me of one of the best Far Side cartoons:

Two groups of cave people each praying to their pile of rocks. One of the cave people says "you are crazy, clearly our pile of rocks is the only true god."

Umm, okay it was funnier in the paper. I guess you had to be there.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Connect_the_Dots
"vicadin"

Please fix your sig line.

It's "vicodin".

You are making light of everything my life stands for.

(Better living through chemicals.)

[evenodds]

Originally posted by Connect_the_Dots
Reminds me of one of the best Far Side cartoons:

Two groups of cave people each praying to their pile of rocks. One of the cave people says "you are crazy, clearly our pile of rocks is the only true god."

Umm, okay it was funnier in the paper. I guess you had to be there.

This reminds me of a Far Side Cartoon: the Prehistoric Spelling Bee.

Two cavemen are standing on stage.

The first one says: "Cave. C-a-v-e."

The second one thinks: "Oh sure, I'll probably get "Australopithecus."

[Connect_the_Dots]

Originally posted by bilmore
Please fix your sig line.

Alright, alright. Maybe I should turn the music down, drive slower and stay the hell off your lawn while I'm at it.

Besides, if I can't spell it's all the fault of your generation and the "whole learning" you inflicted on me in public skool. :stupid:

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Ok, if only to let me boast for a minute.

I recently returned from a place where I took strenuous yoga classes for at least 3 hours a day from a Buddist monk (who was incredibly hot, btw). And now (if sufficiently warmed up) I can put my legs behind my head.

Woo hoo!!

Have you actually tried fucking like that? It's a bit, well, jarring for the lady, but maybe you like that...

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Or the Episcopalian, who totally ignore parts of the text to be more inclusive, suggesting nobility and community is more important than mere words.

And now for an old, standard C of E joke.

A man walks into his church and says to his priest "Father, I'm having a terrible crisis of faith!" The vicar says "what is it that troubles you?" The man says "I have discovered that I don't believe in God." And the vicar says "Oh, I shouldn't worry about that if I were you. Neither do I."

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Nope, also a sin (see "Onanism"). Monty Python put the Church's position on sex to song in "The Meaning of Life."

Every sperm is sacred/every sperm is great/when a sperm is wasted/God gets quite irate.

Seriously, the ability of Catholics to selectively ignore Church teachings and doctrine to fit their own thoughts is amazing. Liberals focus on the anti-death penalty, anti-war, and anti-capitalist economic and social justice teachings. They ignore the no contraceptives (let's not even mention abortion), no divorce, no fertility treatments, no gay sex, no unmarried sex stuff. Conservatives do the exact opposite, of course. Their "Choose Life" bumper stickers are not refering to the "central message of their faith" as applied to capital punishment or euthanasia.

Bob/Slave/Whoever,

The reason most Catholics pick and choose what they feel like beleieving is because Catholicism is a fucking joke of a religion... just like the rest. Every one of them save perhaps Buddhism is nothing more than a hedge against the afterlife, with some practical rules added as window dressing after the fact. Catholicism stands out in its immense stupidity because it can't even promulgate consistent rules which any human being could ever practically follow - and its a goddamn corporation. Islam is a wrongheaded idiot's attempt at a religion, but at least it ain't Islam, Inc. (Shariah seems like a dim kid's attempt to plagiarize the Torah and add some fire and brimstone).

Now back to Catholics... Since all the rules will inevitably be broken by everyone, it gives us all the escape hatch of death bed confession and absolution. Nice, huh? Hitler had a chance for the Peraly gates... just so long as he was baptized and repented. The Chinese doctor who grew up in a land without Catholicism, however, will go to purgatory because it was illegal to be baptized. Seems like common sense... totally rational - if you have a slug of fucking adobe between your ears.

But lets not just single out Catholics. How about those Hasidic folks with their no pork, no shellfish and no turning on the lights on weekends. If anyone can point to a single sensible reason for any of that nonsense, I'm all ears. I understand the kosher rules were put together to protect people's health years ago, but this ain't 1000 BC anymore... pork is relatively safe, so are oysters. Bag the stupid outfits, cut your hair and get a grip.

Now, back to the bottom of the barrel of idiots... Radical Islam. This one's simple - people with no money obsess about God. God fills in the blanks for those with nothing else. Can't get ahead? Fuck it. Things will be better in the next life. Give these dumb fucks a life and they'll forget the Koran like most Hollywood morons throw out Dianetics after they retire and no longer need a quick ice breaker for cocktail parties.

Ben Franklin was is as correct today as he was as 200 years ago when he said lighthouses were imminently more useful than religions. Fuck... we all pray to the same God, so why the hell battle over who's got a better stairway to the afterlife. I am certain of one thing - if there's a God, the argument you're reading right now makes more sense than anything he's read in 8000 or so years of religious texts.

Think of where we might be as a society if instead of focusing on our differences through dividing and pointless endeavors like religion we instead focused on the common things we all share. Fuck, that's insanely naive and would require us to ignore the plausible Hobbesian position that man's inherent nature is strife and war. And that's the crux of organized religion - it purports to raise people up, while in reality it degrades more effectively than anything else. Its perfectly suited to and helps prepetuate a system of constant conflict and strife. Think about it... with all the ethnic and geopolitical battles, do we really need another boundary? Isn't it enough that we kill each over over land, tribal grudges and money? Organized religion's effect on modern society is like handing out free cocaine and grain alcohol at an English soccer match.

S(Deism... Its the only really sensible position)D

Originally posted by bilmore
Didn't the Pope say that sex is only for procreation? Wouldn't that make nonprocreative sex a no-no, at least for Catholics?

Except I've always heard that lawyers (or add favorite profession) are conceived via anal sex.

[Fugee]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Argh. I am so pissed about that game.... I just can't believe that Colorado let them up off the mat....-- but I am a huge Partick Roy fan. Sigh.

On the other hand, I was so excited at the OT win, I screamed so loud I thought the neighbors would complain. Roy is a great goalie, but Manny Fernandez (who from the name you wouldn't expect to be French Canadian) was in the zone the last 3 games. And the Wild had nothing to lose b/c no one expected them to win.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by bilmore
That's no big deal. I could put your legs behind my head WITHOUT that class.

You don't need yoga to do the legs behind the head gig.

S(The Two Live Crew used to call that maneuver "The Buck")D

PS: Just thinking about Luther Campbell gets me fucking giggling. Those cats were the stupidest, yet funniest motherfuckers.