Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Ty, Nee Slothrop
If you are the person who defenestrated me, I will beat you severely about the head and shoulders until you are so ugly that sebby will not want to see you naked. Digitally beat you, that is.

Oh, for my lost collection of salacious PMs.

Ty, I can manually change your name in the database on this new account back to what it used to be, if you'd like. Let me know.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Oh, great. Our technical issues are being addressed by someone so feebleminded he has forgotten how to lie.

I have no problem lying. My wife does. Whether or not she's feebleminded is still up for debate.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

I think that's my first hat trick, trifecta, or three of a kind, if you will.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Yep, we now know who broke the database. It was Ty. Thus, when the repair query ran, it deleted his ass right outta there.

I thought Tom Cruise's leagle team shut us down. Did you tell them to go pound some Greek sand? Thanks for the repair, I was missing l my imaginary friends.

Anne
I hope Mr. Cruise has a wonderful time in the Greek Isles with all his female companions.

[tmdiva]

Originally posted by Fugee
The Gloria Estefan night was a bigger disaster than the Elton John night. Perhaps only Gloria can sing her own songs well. In any case, there were no standout performances and some fairly weak ones.

Gloria can only sing her own songs "well" if "well" means bad vocal production, no warmth in the tone, etc. etc. I think she's awful. Her songs aren't good for singers, because she's not really a singer.

I pretty much agree with your specific comments on the performances. The black kids got my votes tonight; George and Latoya were my favorites. Latoya looked gorgeous, Fantasia's boobies were frightening, and Diana's dress made her look like the Michelin man. Not good.

Nobody significantly improved or deteriorated over prior performances, and they all had the same problems they've always had. If they eliminate Fantasia and Latoya, the other two members of last week's bottom three, I will probably stop watching.

tm

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Ty, Nee Slothrop
If you are the person who defenestrated me, I will beat you severely about the head and shoulders until you are so ugly that sebby will not want to see you naked. Digitally beat you, that is.

Oh, for my lost collection of salacious PMs.

Alas poor Ty.

Great job MR, on putting things back together.

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Oh, I forgot to reply to this.

You sure get bitter when other people have/had fun. Or maybe you just miss being young and irresponsible. Let me remind you: it's fucking great.

I'll be riding my next wave of hedonism, but I'll make sure to tell the Alpha Chis to circle the problem areas on your ass...

I find ignorane plus judgment to be irritating. BUt the next time you go to yoga to do some ass checkng, be sure to bring your Jump To Conclusions mat.

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Does anyone have a beer?

Glad I don't work by the hour anymore.

Oh damn, I almost forgot. When I woke up this morning I had a discussion with my wife about how to handle this problem. Here's the skinny:

My wife is friends with this girl from highschool. She and her husband and child like to invite themselves to stay at our place when they come to town. Well, maybe that's a bit harsh. They do give us the chance to respond.

The last time they stayed with us, it was a complete nightmare. After that, my wife and I agreed we would never let them stay with us again.

Well, they've just called and asked to stay with us again. My wife is waffling on our promise to tell these people they can't stay with us. She doesn't want to hurt her friend's feelings and, after all, "it's just for one night."

So, my first question is how do I get my wife to stick to our agreement? And second, if she agrees that this couple should not stay, how do we tell them off without hurting their feelings (the quality of your answers to the second question may directly impact my ability to get my wife to agree on the first issue).

Thanks.

P.S. you guys owe me a couple responses now that I fixed your toy. get to it.

First off, why was it a nightmare?

I had a similar experience last summer. And it was a total nightmare. I was visiting my breastfeed-even-though-the-milk-dried-up best friend from college who was like 8.5 months preggers. They still couldnt get their 2.5 year old to sleep through the night so the fucker wailed in the middle of the nightt every fucking night multiple times. The husband has clearly had it and the wife is so fucking overprotective of that kid that it seems to have put pressure on their relationship. Anyway, there I am, single and ready to party and definitlely not wanting to get in the middle of this shit. Also, they live far away so I stayed past the "three days and fish and houseguests start to smell" rule. I tried to get flights out early or a hotel but to no avail. it was the fourth of july and shit was booked.

so obviosuly I aint staying with them again until the fuckettes are at college. What I dont get, MR, is how the friends are so obtuse that they didnt realize that this was a nightmare that could have implications for the friendship in the long run. But given their clear obtusity, I think your wife should say that it would be best for the friendship's survival if they got a hotel,a nd blame it on you. then offer to take em to dinner or something.

thanks for you work on the site.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Paigow story and advice

I think that you should just tell a white lie and say something is being done to the house, or your guestroom is full of stuff or whatever.

That way if they are clueless they won't get it and if they have a clue they might be a little hurt but also, might realize they have been taking advantage of your friendship.

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Anyone want to buy a wedding dress? This guy is apparently selling his ex-wife's dress on ebay.

From the auction:

"I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, "That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it." So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill. Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years. Thank the Lord we didn't have kids. If they would have turned out like her or her family I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, it’s a really nice dress as you can see in the pictures. Personally, I think it looks like a $1200 shower curtain, but what do I know about this. We tried taking pictures of this lovely white garment but it didn’t look right on the hanger as you can see, so my sister says, "You need a model." Well, quite frankly my sister isn’t exactly small, (like a size 12 is?) so she wouldn’t pose for the picture. Seeing as I have sworn off women for the time being and I ain’t friends with any, it left me holding the bag. I took the liberty of blacking out my face - not to protect the ex-wife but to protect me from my bar buddies and co-workers finding out about it. I would never live it down. Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck hole, but then I figured she got her Texas cheerleader hair through there I could get my head in it. Though, after looking at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat. How do you women wear this crap? I only had to walk 3 feet and I tripped twice. Don’t worry ladies - I am wearing clothes on underneath it. I gotta say it did make me feel very pretty. So if it can make me feel pretty, it can make you feel pretty, especially on the most important day of your life, right? Anyway, I was told to say it has a train and a veil and all kinds of shiny beady things. I think it's funny that one picture makes it look like the chest plate off an Imperial Storm Trooper. Did I mention that all I want is a ball game and beer? Cheap at twice the price. Ladies, you won’t regret this. You may regret the dude you marry but not the dress."

This was on the Today show. Are my eyes deceiving me or is the bid up to $332K? Like its an investment? Nice dress. Can it be tailored to be a sixe six?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I find ignorane plus judgment to be irritating. BUt the next time you go to yoga to do some ass checkng, be sure to bring your Jump To Conclusions mat.

Yawn...

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
First off, why was it a nightmare?

I wouldn't know where to begin. There were a million things wrong with that weekend.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
... What I dont get, MR, is how the friends are so obtuse that they didnt realize that this was a nightmare that could have implications for the friendship in the long run. But given their clear obtusity, I think your wife should say that it would be best for the friendship's survival if they got a hotel,a nd blame it on you. then offer to take em to dinner or something.

You have no idea how obtuse they are.

OK, I will give one little example (and this is a drop in the bucket) as to why the weekend was a nightmare, since it directly relates to their obtusity.

It's Friday. My wife and I get home from work and all the lights in the house are off. Curious. We notice a faint glow from the TV as we enter the house. We hang our coats by the back door and walk into the living room where the two of them sit, awake, but not moving, sprawled out on our couch and loveseat watching TV. (This is where I would normally tell you all that they are both really overweight, but I'm afraid of being called a fattist so pretend I didn't mention it, ok?) We greet them and they greet us and the chit chat starts up.

Now, I don't know about you, but if I were crashing at someone's place and noticed they were home from work and it was the end of the week, I would get up, shut off the TV and let them unwind without making a nuisance of myself. If they wanted to engage in a little chit chat, I would of course oblige. Perhaps I would ask them how their day went? Something like that.

What I would not do is continue to lie on the couches (the only seating in our living room) like a beached whale (whoops! there I go again). The husband had enough sense to sit up (he was on the love seat) and so I very obnoxiously said "Why don't you go ahead and sit down Mrs. R? I can just sit on the floor." At which time she sat down and I plopped down on the floor.

At this time, this woman finally said something like "I suppose I should get up." I thought, "You're damn right you suppose you should get up." But, being the gracious host I am, I said "No no, take your time. I am really quite comfortable sitting here on this hardwood floor." Well, I didn't say the part about the hardwood floor, but I should have.

The thing is, after this exchange, it still took her about 10 minutes before she finally sat up and made room for me to sit on the couch!

Anyway, as an update, I was unable to convince Mrs. R to tell these people they can't stay with us, so I will not be washing any dishes for 2 weeks in order to pay her back. And I will also be getting drunk and whoring around a lot. So, let me know if any of you are planning a trip to MN in the next two weeks. I'll let you chose the vice - drinking or whoring. Hell, if you're really up for it, chose both.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Jeez, Coltrane, you get a full day's reprieve and this is the best you can do? I've seen you wear vintage tees from Urban Outfitters that are funnier and more original.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
And I will also be getting drunk and whoring around a lot. So, let me know if any of you are planning a trip to MN in the next two weeks. I'll let you chose the vice - drinking or whoring. Hell, if you're really up for it, chose both.

So, do you think it was a fair trade then? I may know some people I can set you up with. For the drinking and whoring.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
So, do you think it was a fair trade then? I may know some people I can set you up with. For the drinking and whoring.

I don't know what he is going to go whoring around with, now that he seems to have lost his balls.




(Nothing but love for ya Mr. Nothing but love.)