Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I love this. Did you invent this turning an adjective into a noun thing? I dont think I did but I can t be sure bc I have invented so much. Did you jsut do it with "fats"? I am stealing it if you did.

Go ahead and steal it. I don't think I invented the idea, but I may have invented the phrase "rude fats."

I take credit for "bitch please" and "TITS!!!!" Perhaps some other things too that have now slipped my mind.

The one thing that I like about sunnybunny is her invention of "flipping twit of a moronic bitch." I use that from time to time in my daily life.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Conslusion: husband is probably not that bad of a guy. Wife is a lazy bitch.

Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! What's his prize, Marv?

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
ABBA's right. You don't owe them an excuse, just tell them you won't be able to put them up this time. If they push for an excuse, have one ready -- I'd suggest having your wife be prepared to say "MR has been working really hard lately and is just wiped out, I can't ask him to deal with houseguests this weekend. I'm sure you understand."

Tell your wife that if she doesn't keep the deal, you are going to tell dozens of strangers over the Internet intimate and disgusting details about your sex life.

100% concur with ABBA and Sidd. Particularly on the "don't owe them an explanation" part. In theory, the perfect correct response is "oh, how wonderful that you'll be in town, we wish you could stay with us but unfortunately it's just impossible, let us take you out for dinner, though." All 4-year-old-style questions about "whyyyy???" should be met with "I'm sorry, it's just impossible" and no explanation.

However, it is true that this response will, when repeated 15 times in a row, sound like a blow off, and so it is easier to have an excuse prepared. If you fall back on an excuse, I recommend that it be as lame as possible and then backed up with "sorry, it's just impossible" ad nauseum. If you try to offer good excuses, there will be an escalation of the excuses needed to get out of further visits, and the message you really need (politely) to get across is "don't ask to stay here 'cause the answer is no." Claiming impossibility offers them some plausible reason other than their own unacceptability, but offering a lame excuse may makes it easier for them to accept the escape route. A good excuse also gives them a face-saving out, but they may actually believe it, which will just encourage them to try again - which you don't want, particularly if your wife will lose her nerve.

I also concur that you should tell dozens of strangers over the Internet intimate and disgusting details about your sex life.

BR(I really did like the "I might attack you with a knife" excuse, though)C

eta: scroll then post. Solar-plexus-burning passive aggression is now in order for the duration of their stay so as to mend your wife in her ways.

Also - quick note - people refer to MR here as the "host," which is technically correct but potentially misleading. Guest/host relations are very different in a houseguest situation, where the guests have almost equal responsibilities of graciousness and accomodation as the hosts.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
What about the fat wife? Is it okay that she didnt bc it took ten minutes to shoehorn herself off of the loveseat?

and i didnt realize that lasik derailed the whole body. oh, right, people with temprorarily blinded vision cant move.

You get drugged for it. And its pretty emotionally intense, maybe for both. For a few hours you're worrying that hubbie's supervisor job might be gone because the Lasik went bad and he can't see at all. But polite fat people don't lounge around. It plays to sterotype.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You get drugged for it. And its pretty emotionally intense, maybe for both. For a few hours you're worrying that hubbie's supervisor job might be gone because the Lasik went bad and he can't see at all. But polite fat people don't lounge around. It plays to sterotype.

Dude, they give you a valium. That's hardly drugged. Hell, I couldn't get through some days without a valium. Oh, who am I kidding? I'd prefer not to get out of bed without a valium.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Christ, Bilmore. You know you'd get off your fucking ass in this situation, as would anyone else with a bit of manners. Especially considering the statement I made about sitting on the floor. Who in their right mind would allow someone to sit on the floor in their own home while they laid there taking up the whole couch? Who, Bilmore? Would you if you were a guest in someone's house? And I'm not talking about your mother's house. I'm talking about if your friends had the courtesy to let you crash at their home.

And, in fact, it was the guy who actually got up right away. You know, the one who had lasik surgery? What's the wife's excuse for such poor manners? Answer: there is none.

Stop being recockulous.

Sorry. I thought you had referred to the time as a "nightmare". My bad.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by bilmore
You are not coming off well here.

So, they failed to leap to their feet and offer you seats when you arived home? This guy with recent eye surgery? It took them ten minutes?

The horror. The horror.

You're missing some salient points.

1. The guy with the surgery got up. The wife didn't move.

2. They were really fat.

3. They were from the Midwest.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Who in their right mind would allow someone to sit on the floor in their own home while they laid there taking up the whole couch? Who, Bilmore?

Of all the rhetorical devices you used in this post, the "Who, Bilmore?" was my favorite. I could really sense your exasperation.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
You're missing some salient points.

1. The guy with the surgery got up. The wife didn't move.

2. They were really fat.

3. They were from the Midwest.

I keep getting confused.

So, it WAS a nightmare.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by bilmore
Sorry. I thought you had referred to the time as a "nightmare". My bad.

As I said when I brought this up, the example was but a drop in the bucket that was the nightmare of them staying with us. I could give more examples, but I'm afraid that stuff probably wouldn't convince you, either.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You get drugged for it. And its pretty emotionally intense, maybe for both. For a few hours you're worrying that hubbie's supervisor job might be gone because the Lasik went bad and he can't see at all. But polite fat people don't lounge around. It plays to sterotype.

All this talk about Lasik is reminding me of how much I fucking hate contact lenses...and GLASSES. I can't see shit wearing glasses. No periphery.

Damn those fat people and their wonderful, magical eyes.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Of all the rhetorical devices you used in this post, the "Who, Bilmore?" was my favorite. I could really sense your exasperation.

I thought he was implying that Bilmore might stay sprawled on the couch, thereby forcing his host to bruise his buttocks on the hardwood floor. I didn't take it as a question directed at Bilmore. It was an answer.

[notcasesensitive]

from realityblurred:

Jesse Palmer sent his spy, Jenny, home on last week's episode of The Bachelor 5. Not that he was taking her advice anyway: Gold-digging demon spawn Trish remains as one of the final six women. Jenny says, "Trish is the type of woman that makes all of your other relationships in life suffer." If he ends up with her, Jenny says that's it for their friendship: "It's not that I wouldn't want to be his friend anymore; I wouldn't be able to. Jesse and I have a very unique and close relationship, and she would change that forever." Meanwhile, Jesse also might not have a future relationship with the Giants: Because he "wasn't impressive in leading the team after [Kerry] Collins went down with an ankle injury late last season," Jesse's "future with the Giants also is uncertain with the signing of Jared Lorenzen, the 280-pounder from Kentucky who looks more like an offensive lineman than a quarterback," reports say.

I haven't watched this show, but now I am rooting for Trish so that Jesse's "friend" Jenny has to find some other minor celeb to mooch 15 minutes off of. And I am praying nightly that NY will release our neckless, talentless quarterback hunk du jour.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
As I said when I brought this up, the example was but a drop in the bucket that was the nightmare of them staying with us. I could give more examples, but I'm afraid that stuff probably wouldn't convince you, either.

I think I'm probably not alone in wanting to hear more details. Other people's misery always brightens my day. Share.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
As I said when I brought this up, the example was but a drop in the bucket that was the nightmare of them staying with us. I could give more examples, but I'm afraid that stuff probably wouldn't convince you, either.

I think you are right to have such a fear.

Could be I just have a higher tolerance for fat proles.