It's all about me - Page 220

dtb · 08-10-2004, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Bra goes? My spanish is a little sketchy, but this seems like it might lack noun/verb agreement.

Confidential to Fringe: "Brava" and "Bravo" are Italian -- not Spanish.

Now, more importantly -- I watched 6 Ft. Under last night, and DAMN! that Keith is hot. He's officially on my laminated list (he's not gay IRL -- so it's completely rational for me to include him on my list, because it's highly likely I'll run into him and he'll want to have sex with me). I'll have to rotate someone off, I suppose -- but with MY luck, I'll run into the one I rotated off in Central Perk.

ltl/fb · 08-10-2004, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
Confidential to Fringe: "Brava" and "Bravo" are Italian -- not Spanish.

Confidential to dtb: is not "va" a form of the spanish verb "to go"? it was a joke. Bra va. the bra goes. like you would want yours to if you ran into whatshisface from 6 ft under.

dtb · 08-10-2004, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Apropos of that (and this is, unlike much of my oeuvre, an Absolutely True Story), I stopped the Not Bobmobile on the morning commute to move a turtle out of the road. Rather than pulling its cute little head inside its shell, the turtle hissed and tried to snap my fingers off when I bent down to pick it up, scaring the bejezus out of me, and making the lady in the minivan who stopped behind me laugh.

I screwed my courage up to the sticking point, though, picked up the ungrateful little bastard, and got it out of harm's way.

I think that if there was going to be a race, this turtle would so kick the rabbit's ass at the starting line that it would win by default. And that I should get some serious karmic brownie points for not letting it become roadkill after it tried to eat my hands.

I can't remember if I told this story, but I saw a turtle on the road near my house, and got the baby in car specifically to go look at it (it wasn't THAT near my house that we could walk -- but in my neck of the woods, 5 miles is "near"). So anyway, we get in the car to go look at the turtle up-close-and-personal, and it was all squished in the road. Gross. I just pretended he had "walked away".

dtb · 08-10-2004, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm working on those myself.

I may be the only man alive who actually WANTS grey hair. My eyes are going, so I will need glasses soon, but glasses just don't look fetching, or authoritative, unless you have the grey behind them.

I am convinced grey hair and glasses gets you a salary bump.

You know, they now have these new-fangled things called contact lenses, which (I know, it's hard to believe, but stay with me) allow you to correct your vision WITHOUT GLASSES!

I didn't believe it at first either, but it's TRUE!!

NotFromHere · 08-10-2004, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
www.uglydress.com

A site dedicated to bad bridesmaid dresses.

I love this site. I'm sure I've seen these dresses on most of my friends. I'll never forget the Scarlet O'Hara wedding my best friend was in where she had to wear a hoop skirt, white gloves and carry a parasol. Oh yeah, and a stupid floofy hat.

That outfit won many a Halloween costume contests.

And this one rocks. It's nothing without the "pose."

1346 is that a year or a price?

Atticus Grinch · 08-10-2004, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
{dress}

If Bush is reelected, somebody please make sure the Amendment makes an exclusion for protein stains.

Atticus Grinch · 08-10-2004, 02:52 PM

Remember the guy who got saved from federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison because his alibi was corroborated by tape of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" shot at a Dodgers game?

Well, a member of the Polyphonic Spree (a.k.a. high school band geeks run amok) got saved from federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison by his Tivo, which proved to federal authorities that his microphone was not in fact a pipe bomb.

ETA: With the number of vibrating dildoes that are likely criss-crossing this great nation of ours every day by commercial airliner, I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. "It's a sex toy, Special Agent Mulder, and I can prove it. Please, come inside and watch the video . . . ."

ThurgreedMarshall · 08-10-2004, 03:23 PM

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3551672.stm

TM

ltl/fb · 08-10-2004, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3551672.stm

TM

I'm not pretty enough to be exhibited. Must be my cousin.

ETA if the child had been appropriately restrained as well, it never would have happened.

"[A] child in a neighbouring seat may have interfered with the bag, releasing the cat[.]"

baltassoc · 08-10-2004, 03:30 PM

Able to leap tall stacks of phonorecords in a single bound...

It's......Copyright Ferret Guy

NotFromHere · 08-10-2004, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3551672.stm

TM

Were you traveling with her?????

"One possible reason for the creature's sudden fit of fury may have been an unconfirmed report that it was "kicked by somebody in business class" on its way through the cabin, he added."

Atticus Grinch · 08-10-2004, 03:33 PM

The charter bus that took a very large dump on a sightseeing ferry in Chicago the other day belongs to a rock band. The Sun-Times isn't naming the band, but word has it Dave Matthews's rep is working the phones. The Chicago authorities' ability to prove their case may come down to how often Boyd Tinsley goes twosies.

Best. Headline. Ever. Rock band probed in sewage dump.

Grey Pubes · 08-10-2004, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm working on those myself.

I may be the only man alive who actually WANTS grey hair. My eyes are going, so I will need glasses soon, but glasses just don't look fetching, or authoritative, unless you have the grey behind them.

I am convinced grey hair and glasses gets you a salary bump.

Concur as to the first part. Grey hair can also make the rim of the toilet seat appear to be more distinguished.

As to the second point, we note you are in err. Have you seen Bilmore's doublewide?

str8outavannuys · 08-10-2004, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Remember the guy who got saved from federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison because his alibi was corroborated by tape of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" shot at a Dodgers game?

Well, a member of the Polyphonic Spree (a.k.a. high school band geeks run amok) got saved from federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison by his Tivo, which proved to federal authorities that his microphone was not in fact a pipe bomb.

ETA: With the number of vibrating dildoes that are likely criss-crossing this great nation of ours every day by commercial airliner, I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. "It's a sex toy, Special Agent Mulder, and I can prove it. Please, come inside and watch the video . . . ."

Polyphonic SUCK.

Edited to add: Cool new music group making waves around LA - The Ditty Bops. They sound just like their name suggests. I'm partial to their song "Wishful Thinking."

http://www.warnerreprise.com/qt-ref/...lthnkg_ref.mov

taxwonk · 08-10-2004, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Nuts.

In other news...

WARNING - DO NOT READ IF EATING

A tour boat loaded with passengers over the weekend was cruising under a bridge over the Chicago River when the passengers were doused with a brown liquid from above. (The road surface of the bridges here downtown are like large steel latticework grates with thousands of small openings in them.)

Turns out two charter buses crossing the river took the opportunity to empty the raw sewage from their toilets...

Link

If this has already been updated, I apologize for wonking, but it is, after all, my thing. The latest news reports are that the offending dumper was Dave Matthews's tour bus.

And I thought he only did this onstage.