Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Is there a limit to how old the baby can be? At some point doesn't it become too old for breast feeding?

In a just society there would not be. If Spank posted here we could get a UMC ruling.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Apparently WI is mammaryphillic.

Asking a breast-feeding mother to cover-up could soon cost people in Wisconsin $200.

Looks like you're safe in Wisconsin RP.

That's nothing. In Minnesota, it is a $500 fine to harass individuals engaged in unsolicited, no-strings-attached fellatio. There is a corresponding civil violation with the possibility of treble damages if the harassment results an intereference with ejaculation. It's called Flower's Law.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
That's nothing. In Minnesota, it is a $500 fine to harass individuals engaged in unsolicited, no-strings-attached fellatio. There is a corresponding civil violation with the possibility of treble damages if the harassment results an intereference with ejaculation. It's called Flower's Law.

does the bike shorts material ever chafe your chin?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
That's nothing. In Minnesota, it is a $500 fine to harass individuals engaged in unsolicited, no-strings-attached fellatio. There is a corresponding civil violation with the possibility of treble damages if the harassment results an intereference with ejaculation. It's called Flower's Law.

What's the law regardign solicited and/or strings attached fellatio?

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
What's the law regardign solicited and/or strings attached fellatio?

Not protected. If you need to try that hard, then go find a room. But if it just happens, you shouldn't be punished.

[Shape Shifter]

Forget you saw the card. Take the high road and let it go. Do this for your own well-being as much as that of the mother of your children. If this is not an option, however, stay away from the fuck-her-sister/mother approach. Too cliche. Fuck her brother or her father and then dump him on his freshly fucked ass.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
That's nothing. In Minnesota, it is a $500 fine to harass individuals engaged in unsolicited, no-strings-attached fellatio.

Predictably, leaving those of us who enjoy the sensation of the tightly-tied-string-around-the-wang out in the cold. Effin' prudish moralistic close-minded legislature.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Let's break down last night's debacle. First of all, we need to revisit this post:

http://205.214.94.186/forums/showthr...759#post156759

Next, let me say that I don't think we deserved to win. I think we were outplayed and the guys we needed to play well, the guys we brought in to be superstars, played mostly like crap for 5 straight games.

Although I think Sheff wouldn't have caught that ball even if there had been no collision and even though he should have caught that bloop off of the bat of Molina (and he would have if he wasn't so slow and didn't get such a shitty jump on the ball), I don't blame him for that loss. I don't even blame Matsui (stranded 8 men last night), who has been very clutch in the past. (We better re-sign him.)

I blame Rodriguez. Boston fans rejoice. He is our curse.

ARod is the Charles Smith of baseball. He is a joke. A charlatan. A fraud. A smudge on the Yankees uniform. A piece of shit. I would rather have Boone. I used to think that he should win MVP over Ortiz because Ortiz is a one-dimensional player, but I was wrong. ARod is the anti-MVP. He is going to be miserable in this town. I don't know how he will be able to walk the streets. If he would have simply struck out in the ninth, the Yankees would have won that game yesterday. That's two* of the three games that we lost because of his malfeasance. And his nonfeasance the rest of the time didn't help, but at least it didn't actively hurt.

Next up? That bullshit call. Or should I say those bullshit calls. If anyone, anyone argues that Cano should have been called out on that play, I will have absolutely no respect for you when it comes to sports because you simply cannot be objective.

Cano ran up the baseline. His feet were actually on the fucking chalk and his foot hit the middle of the bag. First of all, that is not a violation of the rule. If he had been inside the chalk at any time after the catcher picked up the ball, the umpire may have had a point. But he wasn't. Second of all, the first baseman was on the part of the bag Cano would normally have stepped on because he wanted to give his catcher an better target. To make that call in Game Five was just completely fucking ridiculous. And he's the same jackass that called the runner safe at second when he was clearly out the other night on the force. He should be removed from the playoff rotation at the very least and sent down to Single A, where he belongs, at the worst.

And then, there's Torre. I think Torre is a good manager of two things (and the game, where he is average, ain't one of them). One: the personalities of the type we had from '96 to '01. Quiet guys who are team players. Guys who you can motivate with a look or gesture. Guys like Bernie, Posada, Martinez, Paulie, Jeter and Rivera. He can't motivate any other type of player. He can't get in someone's face when they're playing like a little bitch and tell him just that. It's not in him. And that's what we needed this year.

The other thing he's good at is managing outside influences. He can manage Steinbrenner and all of Steinbrenner's henchmen who try their best to interfere. He manages the press beautifully and manages to keep so much pressure off his guys and on him. Compare Steinbrenner's quotes when Winfield was playing horribly in the postseason to now, when ARod is ten times worse. Back then, everything was the fault of the players. Today, Steinbrenner blames Torre. And I credit Torre for deflecting that heat.

Sweet Lou will be our next manager and as much as it will hurt to see Torre leave on terms not his own, we need to enter a new phase. Bernie, Posada and Tino are not the future of this team. We need a different leader. And I think Piniella will get the most out of the ridiculous team we field next year.

Last up, center field. Bernie, it was nice knowin' ya. Can't wait to see you on your first old-timers day. Make way for Torii Hunter. If we don't acquire him, I'm going to be fucking furious.

TM

*Remember his game-destroying error in Game 2?

Originally posted by ironnutsedge
Blink and ya missed it. Yanks work fast.

Wow, I hit a nerve deep enough to bring this creaky old stalker sock back? You just made my day, punky.

Next year. Mets. All. The. Way.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
We all have acquaintances just like her. The ones who bring nothing to the table and expect everyone else to provide the entertainment. These are the same people who show with only a bag of chips for the BBQ, eat free food and leave just before everyone starts cleaning up.

This reminds me of a friend of my husband's -- the guy is such a freakin' freeloader, it's embarrassing (apparently not embarrassing enough for him, because he keeps doing this shit). Here are some primo examples:

1. He's invited for dinner, insists on buying the steaks (we're doing a grill outdoors thing), or at least on saying he'll buy them. Late in the day, decides instead he'll bring "the beer". Shows up that evening with "the beer" -- as in ONE BOTTLE OF BEER (a larger-than-normal bottle, granted, but not for more than two people who don't drink a lot of beer).

2. On another occassion, brings over a bottle of wine from his parents' house -- which bottle of wine is ALREADY OPEN! He says it's fine, because his parents have one of those air-sucker-outer cork-and-vacuum contraptions.

3. My husband tells this guy (!!) that I think he's a cheapskate (another story all its own), and the next time he shows up at the house, he brings over an almost-empty bag of chips and an old container of salsa (replete with crust around the edge of the jar).

Ha-fucking-ha.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
blahbitty blah blah blah

Whatever. Yankees suck. Red Sox suck worse. End of.

BTW, charming column in the NYT this morning about spoiled, drunk, crass and violent Yankee fans.

Mets fans? Not a word. I rest my case.

[dtb]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I blame Rodriguez. Boston fans rejoice. He is our curse.

ARod is the Charles Smith of baseball. He is a joke. A charlatan. A fraud. A smudge on the Yankees uniform. A piece of shit. I would rather have Boone. I used to think that he should win MVP over Ortiz because Ortiz is a one-dimensional player, but I was wrong. ARod is the anti-MVP. He is going to be miserable in this town. I don't know how he will be able to walk the streets.

Too right. In the public place where I was watching the game last night, I was saying the very same thing (well, except about the Boston fans rejoicing -- the only silver lining in this cloud is that Boston isn't in it either).

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
If he would have simply struck out in the ninth, the Yankees would have won that game yesterday.

Shit. I didn't think of it like this. You are absolutely right. What a loser. He'd better not get that damned MVP award. Putz.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall That's two* of the three games that we lost because of his malfeasance. And his nonfeasance the rest of the time didn't help, but at least it didn't actively hurt.

*Remember his game-destroying error in Game 2?

Oh, I remember all right -- and those seated around me in the bar last night were regaled with a trip down that Memory Lane as well.

[ABBAKiss]

Okay, this is the weekend. PM me if you want to show me and my friend a good time.

Sincerely,
ABBAKiss

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by ironweed
Whatever. Yankees suck. Red Sox suck worse. End of.

BTW, charming column in the NYT this morning about spoiled, drunk, crass and violent Yankee fans.

Mets fans? Not a word. I rest my case.

There was nothing of value in this post whatsoever.

But let me add, as far as the Mets fans go, it's the psychology of being lovable losers. Always behind the Yankees. The triple A team in a Major League city. Hell, you guys weren't even really talking shit in 2000 because you knew you were going to get spanked.

And you're proud of this?

TM

[Replaced_Texan]

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Topped with a new cover by Brian Bolland, DC UNIVERSE: THE STORIES OF ALAN MOORE TP features art by Bolland, Dave Gibbons, Kevin O ' Neill, Klaus Janson, Jim Baikie, Curt Swan, Rick Veitch, Joe Orlando, John Byrne, Bill Willingham and others, in stories originally published from 1985 - 1988.