Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04 - Page 226

ThrashersFan · 12-24-2003, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
When about 7, I was shopping with mom and an aunt. We went to two malls, and each had a Santa. I seperately asked Mom and Auntie how he could move so quick to cover two malls. I got inconsistant answers, and so my belief began to crumble.

Everyone knows that the mall Santas are not the real Santa -- they are magic helpers that Santa sends to the malls to collect additional gift information while he is back at the North Pole Toyshop overseeing the preparations for Christmas. To my knowledge, Santa has never himself claimed to be making appearances at each of these places -- it is a misunderstanding on your part prompted by the false advertising of the mall.

It is unfortunate that your mom and aunt didn't simply tell you the truth -- now you don't know enough to express your gift wishes to Santa's helpers at the mall. So sad.

AngryMulletMan · 12-24-2003, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Everyone knows that the mall Santas are not the real Santa.

My mother used to take great pains to point out to me that the department store santas were not real and draw my attention to the fake beards and ill-fitting suits. She'd tell me that nobody had ever really seen Santa and that he's much too busy at the holidays to hang out in stores anyway. I'm sure I must have believed her at one point.

I remember being freaked out one Christmas by a talking Christmas tree in a department store. Apparently, there was some wackjob with a microphone who would talk to little kids as they approached the tree and say stuff that would scare the shit out of them. I remember being scared and yelling "You're too nasty to be a Christmas tree!" and running up the escalator.

Still makes me shiver to think about it.

ThurgreedMarshall · 12-24-2003, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
I have heard that before, but never in such a nice manner. Thank you for not using the more common term for "complex woman" -- bitch.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're complex at all.

Merry Christmas!

TM

ThrashersFan · 12-24-2003, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AngryMulletMan
[killer Christmas tree]
Still makes me shiver to think about it.

How horrible and unfortunate for you. Sometimes I wish that adults would just let Christmas and Santa be what they are and stop trying to shove it down people's throats that way. Christmas and Santa can survive without creepy adults talking to children through Christmas trees.

notcasesensitive · 12-24-2003, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AngryMulletMan
Apparently, there was some wackjob with a microphone who would talk to little kids as they approached the tree and say stuff that would scare the shit out of them. I remember being scared and yelling "You're too nasty to be a Christmas tree!" and running up the escalator.

Sounds like a great job. Putting it on my post-law career list. Currently the list contains the following potential jobs:

Blackjack dealer
Coffee shop employee somewhere tropical
Scary talking Christmas tree*

*perhaps this could be translated for the various holidays and such so that I will have a job at other times of the year than just December - Crazy Scary Jack-o-lantern, for example

ThrashersFan · 12-24-2003, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
For what it's worth, I don't think you're complex at all.

Merry Christmas!

TM

If I were not already married, I would ask you right now to marry me and let me hold you and hug you and call you TM forever and ever.

I will put in a good word for you with "the man in red with white trim."

TF

Hank Chinaski · 12-24-2003, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
It is unfortunate that your mom and aunt didn't simply tell you the truth -- now you don't know enough to express your gift wishes to Santa's helpers at the mall. So sad.

she used to hit me too.

Hank Chinaski · 12-24-2003, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AngryMulletMan
My mother used to take great pains to point out to me that the department store santas were not real and draw my attention to the fake beards and ill-fitting suits.

Well My mom never told me about Santa, but in 8th grade my sister pointed out that Bernadine Witt's tits couldn't possibly go from A to C cup over one weekend, and tissue had to be involved. At least some of my family took pains to ensure I wasn't completely fooled by life.

Skeks in the city · 12-24-2003, 04:59 PM

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

Quote:

Okay. But the question was: Why does that happen?TM

Stimulants stimulate the central nervous system and lead to traditional fight-or-flight responses, such as dilation of the pupils. Don't know about depressants.

Skeks in the city · 12-24-2003, 05:14 PM

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

Quote:

I still don't believe in the "buy your wife an expensive gift for giving birth" trend that you tried to set me straight on.

I think she has failed to realize that, quite often, a husband's consenting to having kids is an expensive gift. A lot of guys don't really want kids. This is why we hear about wives "forgetting" to use birth control and "accidentally" getting pregnant.

notcasesensitive · 12-24-2003, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Skeks in the city

I think she has failed to realize that, quite often, a husband's consenting to having kids is an expensive gift. A lot of guys don't really want kids. This is why we hear about wives "forgetting" to use birth control and "accidentally" getting pregnant.

Those crafty women-folk! In addition, sometimes women [no air quotes] forget [\no air quotes] to take birth control and/or [no air quotes] accidentally [\no air quotes] get pregnant.

You want a fool-proof method? Make yourself responsible for it instead of laying all the responsibility (and thereafter blame) on those sneaky women. Is this tricky?

ETA: or date/marry trustworthy women. and trust them. another option.

Tyrone Slothrop · 12-26-2003, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
"Man Reading Pynchon On Bus Takes Pains To Make Cover Visible
PHILADELPHIA—According to riders on the eastbound C bus, John Bolen, 23, made a conscious effort Monday to make the cover of Thomas Pynchon's The Crying Of Lot 49 visible to all on board. "Instead of resting the book on his lap or on the seat in front of him, he was holding it up in this really awkward, uncomfortable-looking way," rider Caryn Little said. "Then, every so often, he'd glance around to see if anyone was noticing what he was reading." Bolen vehemently denied the Pynchon-flaunting charges, insisting that "the light was bad" on the bus."

Ty, dear, we all know you are smart. This is really pathetic.

More than two days, and I'm still waiting for an admin to do something here.

Merry Christmas everyone!

ThrashersFan · 12-26-2003, 11:20 AM

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/s...rtnersite=espn

Isles fans invited to dress as Santa attack Rangers fans.

"A seemingly harmless Christmas promotion arranged by the New York Islanders turned ugly, and all because of the team's fierce rivalry with the New York Rangers."

***

"Ignoring the holiday spirit, some of the other St. Nicks turned into Bad Santas, jumping the Ranger fans. The interlopers were knocked to the ice and had the shirts ripped off. Other Santas went sliding across the ice during the melee that took six minutes to settle down."

Fugee · 12-26-2003, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pinky
I never believed in Santa either. My parents also thought it was stupid. I guess I can understand why parents do it. Tradition and they think it makes the holiday more fun for the kids. I, however, won't do it. I never believed in Santa and love Christmas and had lots of fun as a kid.

I don't ever remember believing in Santa Claus so it must not have been traumatic when I truly realized it was a story. If I ever believed in Santa it wasn't a big deal because Santa only brought stuff that fit in our stockings and it was mostly stuff that we saw our folks get at the local school Christmas program. Santa brought apples and oranges and candy canes and some coins in the toe of the stocking.

We had a Christmas Eve present opening tradition so we knew all our big gifts came from Mom & Dad and the grandparents.

Now Santa leaves presents in my parents' stockings and still brings me little stuff in my stocking too (but I've graduated from apples and oranges to body lotion and candles). I got them each a stocking when I started working. At first only I put stuff in their stockings but now they each put something in the other's stocking too. This year I made dog cookies so Santa left them as treats for the 2 dogs.

ironnutsedge · 12-26-2003, 05:21 PM

After reading the below does anyone else find it ironic that PLF has not been seen here for days:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/12/26/off....ap/index.html

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota (AP) -- A naked man got stuck in the chimney of a bookstore early Christmas morning.

Don't worry, it wasn't Santa Claus.

The 34-year-old man was treated Thursday for bruises and abrasions at Hennepin County Medical Center after being found naked and lodged in the furnace flue at Uncle Hugo's Bookstore. He was expected to be charged with attempted burglary on Friday.