Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Um, sebby, you do realize that said spawn to be wiped out would be our children* that you're talking about?

Whoa, in a keanu-like way -- that rhymes!

*Yes, sebby and I have children together, and I am proud to finally say it aloud. Our version of The Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name has resulted in two cute little tykes named Muffy and Kip.

Bob,

If you and your wife are the sort McMansion owning, Lexus SUV driving, getting in the coach's face becase your kid doesn't get enough time on the midget soccer field, talking down to the cashier at Nordstroms because you think you're royalty, mouthing off to others about your kids fantastic grades, dragging your tykes from one practice to another and then to the LSAT prep course to make sure he gets into an Ivy league shool, conspicuously flaunting the country club membership you can barely afford, Benz-you-can't-afford-owning, living-for-your-kids becaue you have nothing else interesting but you large screen television and automatic lawn watering system, getting involved in the PTA, latte swilling, talking about your stock portfolio, leveraging your ass to pay for the local private school you can't afford sort of soccer parents I run into all the time in this area, yep, I hope your little spawn of Satan runs headlong into a green cloud of plague.

SD

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by RealityBites
Don't fu@king get me started. It's cold. I'm sick. It's that freaking holiday everyone sucks time of year again and my seat warmer in my car is malfunctioning.

TM, I knew you loved me... you still want one meelyun of my babies?

It's nice to see you, Arby. Merry fucking Christmas, toots. And come around more often, willya?

[bilmore]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
If you and your wife are the sort McMansion owning, Lexus SUV driving, getting in the coach's face becase your kid doesn't get enough time on the midget soccer field, talking down to the cashier at Nordstroms because you think you're royalty, mouthing off to others about your kids fantastic grades, dragging your tykes from one practice to another and then to the LSAT prep course to make sure he gets into an Ivy league shool, conspicuously flaunting the country club membership you can barely afford, Benz-you-can't-afford-owning, living-for-your-kids becaue you have nothing else interesting but you large screen television and automatic lawn watering system, getting involved in the PTA, latte swilling, talking about your stock portfolio, leveraging your ass to pay for the local private school you can't afford sort of soccer parents I run into all the time in this area, yep, I hope your little spawn of Satan runs headlong into a green cloud of plague.

Wow. If this is your definition of soccer mom, then I can honestly say I have never met a soccer mom in my life.

And, you need to move, if there are lots of people like that where you're living now.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
If you and your wife are the sort McMansion owning, Lexus SUV driving, getting in the coach's face becase your kid doesn't get enough time on the midget soccer field, talking down to the cashier at Nordstroms because you think you're royalty, mouthing off to others about your kids fantastic grades, dragging your tykes from one practice to another and then to the LSAT prep course to make sure he gets into an Ivy league shool, conspicuously flaunting the country club membership you can barely afford, Benz-you-can't-afford-owning, living-for-your-kids becaue you have nothing else interesting but you large screen television and automatic lawn watering system, getting involved in the PTA, latte swilling, talking about your stock portfolio, leveraging your ass to pay for the local private school you can't afford sort of soccer parents I run into all the time in this area, yep, I hope your little spawn of Satan runs headlong into a green cloud of plague.

The plague cloud is black.

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I bought a North Face jacket 10 years ago and I still wear the fucker. There's no need to get a new North Face every year. Mine is still as strong as it was the day I bought it, and I've even gone over a barbed wire fance wearing it.

Disease targets the wrong sectors of society. Its too bad we don't have a modern day Moses to bring down a plague to wipe out the spawn of the soccer mom sector.

As to your first point, I went riding this weekend with a friend, and we were in a field that didn't seem to have a way out except for over this barbed wire fence. He helpfully suggested that I should lay my jacket over the barbed wire so that if the horse were to graze his leg on the way over, he would just rip my jacket instead of hurting himself.

Uh... yeah.

(We found another way out, I'm sure you're all relieved to know.)


As to your second point, COME ON!!! Why the hostility, man? I'm at least as familiar as you with the obsessiveness of formerly high-powered-job moms who decided to give it all up to raise kids, so I'm not just talking out of my butt here (but that is a good trick at parties!). So they obsess too much; yes, they over-plan and over-analyze every last detail of their children's lives; yes, it's unbelievably annoying, but would you rather have them ignored and sitting in front of the television? Beaten? What, everyone has to raise her children the way you would? Geez. Leave 'em alone already. Raising children is hard work.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I call anybody who says "I liked that band before anybody heard of them" Donny Carmody, after a toolish guy from my high school who uttered that very phrase about Duran fucking Duran.

Who?

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
rant about soccer moms

Speaking of whom, can we all agree to ban those fucking double-wide two-child armored off-road strollers? I hate being steamrolled off the sidewalk because some pampered Manolo-tottering bitch is taking up 60% of the thing with her ugly enormous Louis Vuitton bag. Make that overworked exploited nanny you make walk 3 paces behind you like a serf for the princely $250 a week you pay her carry the fucking thing or something. Just downsize the pretentious baby SUV and get the hell out of my way!

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by evenodds
Robert Randolph & the Family Band are touring throughout the country with Los Lonely Boys.

Catch them live if you get a chance.

www.robertrandolph.net
(warning: contains sound)

That looks like it's going to be an awesome New Year's Party.

[Connect_the_Dots]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Speaking of whom, can we all agree to ban those fucking double-wide two-child armored off-road strollers? I hate being steamrolled off the sidewalk because some pampered Manolo-tottering bitch is taking up 60% of the thing with her ugly enormous Louis Vuitton bag. Make that overworked exploited nanny you make walk 3 paces behind you like a serf for the princely $250 a week you pay her carry the fucking thing or something. Just downsize the pretentious baby SUV and get the hell out of my way!

It's too bad that Sebby is married. I think this would be an interesting blind date.

[evenodds]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
That looks like it's going to be an awesome New Year's Party.

This is so geeky . . . we're supposed to be in Florida until the 3rd, but we're flying back early to catch the show.

Even(hanging my head in shame)Odds

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Sebby's list.

If you and your wife are the sort McMansion owning
We wish

Lexus SUV driving
Only a half no -- it's a Range Rover

getting in the coach's face becase your kid doesn't get enough time on the midget soccer field
Our kid played baseball, not soccer -- an I was the coach, so of course the Not Bobette played all the time. Sheesh.

talking down to the cashier at Nordstroms because you think you're royalty
No Nordstoms here in Podunkville, but the cashiers at the Kresges and WT Grants here quake in my presence -- as they should, dammit.

mouthing off to others about your kids fantastic grades
I wish. Instead we mouth off about the fantastic grades we *pretend* she received.

dragging your tykes from one practice to another and then to the LSAT prep course to make sure he gets into an Ivy league shool
The maid handles some of that sort of transportation

conspicuously flaunting the country club membership you can barely afford
it's a restricted club, so my flaunting is very suble. And the course makes it all worth it.

Benz-you-can't-afford-owning
It's a Jag. And the leasing makes it easier.

living-for-your-kids becaue you have nothing else interesting but you large screen television and automatic lawn watering system
Yes on the TV, and Juan handles the yard -- I have no idea how he keeps it so green. I don't pay too much attention, really -- so long as he does a great job, I don't have to call INS, right?

getting involved in the PTA
That would be Mrs. NB

latte swilling
Mocha actually (Mrs. NB again) but same difference.

talking about your stock portfolio
about my losses in Enron and WorldComm? Yes

leveraging your ass to pay for the local private school you can't afford
Tell me about it -- it's like highway robbery! But worth it -- otherwise the Not Bobette would be rubbing elbows with the proles. Shudder.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by evenodds
This is so geeky . . . we're supposed to be in Florida until the 3rd, but we're flying back early to catch the show.

Even(hanging my head in shame)Odds

I will be attending in Dallas on 12/30. So will Mr Man but I hesitate to say that "we" will attend. Oh, fuck it, we will attend.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by RealityBites
People with strollers. Shop during the day or get a babysitter. Those things are fucking dangerous.

Damn straight. So stay the hell out of our way. Especially at the top of the escalator, 'cause we're coming off fast.

Originally posted by evenodds
(5) children under five roaming freely are a menace.

Especially when they form into packs.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You know who I wish would get back together and make a new album?...the Talking Heads.

It's not a new album, but according to this Salon piece, a "definitive" greatest hits just got released. The article also discusses the love/hate between Tina and David.

Salon article on Talking Heads box set

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
LSAT prep course
SD

Daddy Coltrane (lawyer): There are prep courses for the LSAT? HOW MUCH? No, I think you'll do just fine on your own. I did."

Then he jumped in his kayak....