Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its all in the presenter and the delivery. If your best man is a fat Costanza-esque single guy ....

If I'm getting married again, I need to pick a best man who isn't fat or single. Got it. Anything else about the presenter, or is the rest all about the delivery?

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dude, its next to impossible to get through life married without having kids.

Of course it's not. Rabid commitment to birth control, or surgery.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
If I'm getting married again, I need to pick a best man who isn't fat or single. Got it. Anything else about the presenter, or is the rest all about the delivery?

Make sure he looks classy in a tux.

[str8outavannuys]

Hey Leagl, I'm a shark too!

Reminds me of the Sealab tourist episode they reran this week.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Make sure he looks classy in a tux.

Is that Carson? He looks like a waiter in Palm Beach for a 5 pm Early Bird special. Could QE please get a replacement already?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
As I believe I once posted in some internet lawyer chat board, when I was younger and drunker and going to bars to play pool more often, there was one fellow who frequented one of these bars, and who used to play pool a fair amount. Among his many tattoos was a large hemp leaf tattooed across his face. It displayed an admirable commitment to marijuana.

Back when it looked like Whole Foods was going to break into a larger market than just Texas, late 80s/early 90s, the managers at the Alabama and Shephard store here in Houston decided to fuck with the staff a little. They put out a fake memo from corproate headquarters about the new standards for employee appearance, which included limits on the numbers of piercings that an employee could display and a ban on visible tattoos. One of the guys from produce walked into the manager's office and practically cried. He rolled up his sleeves and started waving around his heavily tattooed arms yelling, "Where am I going to find another job with these?"

On a somewhat related note, when we got to the drug testing section of my Employment Law class in law school, one of my classmates confessed that he had been a ski-instructor/patrol/bum in a prior life in Colorado. One of the mountains, in an effort to appear more family friendly, instituded a no drug policy, complete with random drug-testing. My classmate said that within days, the policy had to be amended because otherwise it was impossible to staff the mountain.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Hey, the lines are already long enough at 7-11 and traffic's a bitch everywhere.

Sebbie, you should put your foot down on this one. Don't reproduce.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Yep, all those women. Damn them for wanting to perpetuate the species. Must be some sort of defect.

You know, then you get a guy like me sharing the same defect and stuff just goes crazy.

The funny thing here is Sebby has exactly the kind of attention span and sense of humor that will let him relate to kids, especially in the 3-6 range, so once he gets going, he may find his social life vastly improves.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I had a Catholic wedding because I was born a member of that ridiculous cult, but I eliminated the mass and all other silly observances that most Catholics rudely put their guests through.

did the best man mention nun-fuck fantasies?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
You know, then you get a guy like me sharing the same defect and stuff just goes crazy.

The funny thing here is Sebby has exactly the kind of attention span and sense of humor that will let him relate to kids, especially in the 3-6 range, so once he gets going, he may find his social life vastly improves.

I can see him reading Uncle Wiggly and the Starfish.

http://www.biblio.com/books/3421765.html

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
If I'm getting married again, I need to pick a best man who isn't fat or single. Got it. Anything else about the presenter, or is the rest all about the delivery?

I said you cannot have a fat Costanzaesque single guy who discusses bachelor parties because the implication will be that he's pathetic and probably fucked an escrot that evening and lives for bachelor parties because they are the only place he can get laid. You may have a fat guy, a Costanzaesque guy or a single guy, but not all three in combination talking about bachelor parties.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Sebbie, you should put your foot down on this one. Don't reproduce.

Have you been on the Schuylkill lately or been to a Whole Foods store in town? Its insane. So much time wasted just because people forgot to take a pill.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dude, its next to impossible to get through life married without having kids. Its a fact of nature that 90% of wives will make you have one or two, and you're a fool if you think you'll be the exception. Even if your wife says she doesn't want them at the outset, she'll change her tune someday. Hell, it just led to divorce for a friend of mine.

Did the divorce happen because she wanted to have kids and he didn't? Or did it happen because he didn't want to have kids and she went off and had one anyway?

If its the second, I think you and I know the same cat.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dude, its next to impossible to get through life married without having kids. Its a fact of nature that 90% of wives will make you have one or two, and you're a fool if you think you'll be the exception. Even if your wife says she doesn't want them at the outset, she'll change her tune someday. Hell, it just led to divorce for a friend of mine. I love the Mrs., and in order to keep her, we'll have to have kids, so I'll have a kid or two with her.

Kids are like a barrier to entry for most successful marriages because women are just wired to have them. Its not rational and you can't fight it. You just go with it and deal as best you can. Luckily, I have relatives around who'll enjoy watching whatever kid(s) I have, because I've no intention of having them destroy my social life.

Please do not speak for all women ever again. YOu don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by NotFromHere YOu don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

When did that EVER stop ANYONE from posting on this board?