Meh.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Not me. I had a blow induced freak out (thought I was having heart attack) and had an epiphany on the beach (North Carolina back in 1994) that religion is possibly the dumbest thing imaginable.

Two years ago some assjack doc told me I might have a nasty cancer. Turned out to be a minor nothing issue. I looked down the barrel of the gun and again thought "Religion? What could be more asinine and pointless?" I was rather comfortable with the notion that I'd go somewhere I wouldn't understand and hopefully would maybe retain consciousness and learn the meaning of life. But that absurd organized religious nonsense people run around bleating about all over this country struck me as the most absurd notion for any person pondering his mortality to consider.

In the end, I will kill myself. When I'm old and sick, I will end things. I can't think of any other dignified exit. Otherwise, some fool will ramble at the service about how it was "God's will" or I was "called home." Thanks, but I'd rather be recalled for having the good sense to call myself home, on my own goddamned schedule.

Humanism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanism

It's where it's at. Unless you're lucky enough to be a jew.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Can we shoot your ashes out of a cannon?

Oh. I thought you'd joined someone in retirement.

[J. Fred Muggs]

Originally posted by dtb
(This shilling reminds me of something my older boy said a few weeks ago: "Mom, why don't you get Verizon Wireless? With Verizon Wireless, you can call anywhere in the United States, Canada and Puerto Rico for one low monthly price!")

I have GOT to get this kid on television.

Note that you typed "on" when you clearly meant "away from".

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Oh. I thought you'd joined someone in retirement.

You mean Less? I don't think he's started his retirement yet. I'd love to join him, but the wife and kids thing sorta gets in the way.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
The point of no return isn't when you're still walking and the doc tells you you only have three months to live.

The time you can say for sure what you'll do is 2 months 29 days later when you can't walk anymore. If you don't go back then- you win- but I don't see how you'll tell us.

Fake heart attacks are much more immediate than false cancer diagnosises.

Well, the obvious trick to this is to not get to that two month, 29 day deadline.

I can do anything drunk. I'd get really shattered (and I'd certainly immediately start using heroin were I diagnosed with a terminal illnesss) and either OD myself or blow my brains out (for the reason Ollie ciited, I can no longer blow my brains out, as that would be derivative). So H it will be.

Or maybe a car off a cliff...

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Well, the obvious trick to this is to not get to that two month, 29 day deadline.

I can do anything drunk. I'd get really shattered (and I'd certainly immediately start using heroin were I diagnosed with a terminal illnesss) and either OD myself or blow my brains out (for the reason Ollie ciited, I can no longer blow my brains out, as that would be derivative). So H it will be.

Or maybe a car off a cliff...

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Where does Calvin fall in current tastes?

I like my names to have nice meanings. I seem to recall it means "bald."

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by nononono
Jesus, you are like the last person I would have expected to be so sensitive about this sort of thing. I never had any problem not telling people the sex of my kids, nor telling that I knew and wasn't going to tell them. Nor, for that matter, telling them when I'd picked the names and also telling them I wasn't going to reveal that to them.

It's probably because everyone you know assumed whatever name you came up with would be stupid.

TM

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Well, the obvious trick to this is to not get to that two month, 29 day deadline.

I can do anything drunk. I'd get really shattered (and I'd certainly immediately start using heroin were I diagnosed with a terminal illnesss) and either OD myself or blow my brains out (for the reason Ollie ciited, I can no longer blow my brains out, as that would be derivative). So H it will be.

Or maybe a car off a cliff...

Friend's husband was burried in his Packard. Funniest part of the funeral was when they drove the Packard into the hole and then the driver couldn't get out because he couldn't open the door. I think he had to crawl over the body and roll down a window to get out.

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by Gattigap

Don't drive angry. Or, as the Governator said in a famous movie "Don't drink and bake."

[nononono]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
It's probably because everyone you know assumed whatever name you came up with would be stupid.

TM

Much like this post from you.

eta: their names actually get complimented all the time, except for the occasional freak who says I should've gone with thurgreed instead.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by nononono
Much like this post from you.

eta: their names actually get complimented all the time, except for the occasional freak who says I should've gone with thurgreed instead.

Thurgreed Marshall is a funny name.

[nononono]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Thurgreed Marshall is a funny name.

Sure it is. Even moreso for girls.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I've never understood this.... good for you?

Good for you, you managed to ejaculate inside a woman?

Good for you, your semen aren't so fucked up that they can't find the egg?

Good for you, what?

How about, good for you. You and your wife, who you presumably love, are about to embark on a voyage of discovery unlike any other you ever have or ever will encounter?

Good for you. You are about to bring a new life into the world. That life will be the source of your greatest joys and your bigest heartbreaks. Your worst fears and your biggest sense of satisfaction.

Good for you. Your child will be unrefutable proof not only that there is a God, but that God loves you?

Does that clear things up a bit?

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by taxwonk


Good for you. Your child will be unrefutable proof not only that there is a God, but that God loves you?

Does that clear things up a bit?

You're fucking kidding, aren't you?