Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Have you been on the Schuylkill lately or been to a Whole Foods store in town? Its insane. So much time wasted just because people forgot to take a pill.

I think a lot of people not having kids is a wonderful idea.

No one should be forced to have children simply cause they got married so it is the thing to do. If you don't want children, don't have them. Everyone will be better off, especially the children.

It is truly amazing how often the "thing to do" is something a lot of people really just don't want to do, but they feel like they have no choice.

Really quite silly if you think about it.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
When did that EVER stop ANYONE from posting on this board?

good point. I retract.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Please do not speak for all women ever again. YOu don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Seems to me he limited to 90%. For once, sebby's foul truth came with a disclaimer.

And, if a woman (or man), pulls the bait and switch by claiming no desire for kids, then later changing her mind, when this was a basis for marriage, why shouldn't the divorce be welcome and automatic?

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Have you been on the Schuylkill lately?

You are upset about too much breeding because it is leading to over-crowded regattas?

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
And, if a woman (or man), pulls the bait and switch by claiming no desire for kids, then later changing her mind, when this was a basis for marriage, why shouldn't the divorce be welcome and automatic?

It ought to be. And from a practical perspective, if either partner pushes the kid thing on someone who's indifferent, good luck getting em up at 3 am to deal with it shrieking or to change a diaper, ever.

Better to go it alone or with someone else.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Seems to me he limited to 90%. For once, sebby's foul truth came with a disclaimer.

And, if a woman (or man), pulls the bait and switch by claiming no desire for kids, then later changing her mind, when this was a basis for marriage, why shouldn't the divorce be welcome and automatic?

Hasn't this debate happened already?

People change. That's like saying divorce should be welcome and automatic if somebody becomes less sexually attractive to his or her partner, whether by weight gain, or something less within their control like illness.

How many people do you think really bait and switch, rather than recognize that their desires have changed? This can happen to either partner. Certainly if their desires on something so fundamental diverge, then they should part, but it shouldn't be automatic.

Honestly, I find it funny how people can be so absolute about such a complex issue.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Seems to me he limited to 90%. For once, sebby's foul truth came with a disclaimer.

Not quite.

Even if your wife says she doesn't want them at the outset, she'll change her tune someday.

I'm not changing my mind.

Kids are like a barrier to entry for most successful marriages because women are just wired to have them.

And this is simply not true.

Don't make me add anecdotal evidence as that would anger Atticus.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Hasn't this debate happened already?

People change. That's like saying divorce should be welcome and automatic if somebody becomes less sexually attractive to his or her partner, whether by weight gain, or something less within their control like illness.

How many people do you think really bait and switch, rather than recognize that their desires have changed? This can happen to either partner. Certainly if their desires on something so fundamental diverge, then they should part, but it shouldn't be automatic.

Honestly, I find it funny how people can be so absolute about such a complex issue.

I know someone. He has maintained at least for as long as I've known him that he does not desire any children. I have known him a long time.

His wife knew that he had no deisre for children when she married him 10 years ago. About 2 years ago, she approached him and said that she wanted to have a baby and if he wouldn't comply, she'd leave him. He asked her to give him 3 months to think about it.

She got pregnant during those 3 months. And had a baby.

Their marriage is over.

It is fair to change your mind. It is not fair to impose your will on people you love, or to saddle a child with the future fucked-up-ness of having a father who neither wanted nor wants you.

This is one of the saddest stories I have heard.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Hasn't this debate happened already?

Yes, but it is the fourth Tuesday again.

People change. That's like saying divorce should be welcome and automatic if somebody becomes less sexually attractive to his or her partner, whether by weight gain, or something less within their control like illness.

Exactly. Presumably, you get married because of love, and marriages based on explicit contracts and expectations negotiated by the parties (or their sovereigns) and voidable if no male heir is delivered within an appropriate time frame are relatively rare these days.

Change should be shared and celebrated, even when it leads to some friction that needs to be worked through.

Honestly, I find it funny how people can be so absolute about such a complex issue.

Pssst. Means they're not ready yet.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
She got pregnant during those 3 months. And had a baby.

Did she lie to him about whether she was using birth control? Or did he not take the initiative on that issue?

Either way, agreed, incredibly sad for the kid.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
It is fair to change your mind. It is not fair to impose your will on people you love, or to saddle a child with the future fucked-up-ness of having a father who neither wanted nor wants you.

This is one of the saddest stories I have heard.

It ought to go without saying that you respect the feelings of your partner and don't impose your will on them. This means the one who wants the baby has to go back out there into the dating pool and find somebody who wants one, too; and the one who doesn't has to let him or her go. Sorry for the kid, but the woman is a fool who demonstrates the fact that people create their own misery.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen


She got pregnant during those 3 months. And had a baby.

What did she mate with? A field mouse?

We don't know the same person. My friend left his wife because despite promising she wouldn't have kids when they got hitched, she later changed her mind.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen

[Story about some conniving, hormone addled wench who misled her man]

This is one of the saddest stories I have heard.

Hey, I bet the kid would rather be around.

The marriage was probably over long before this event, and she salvaged what she could. Ten years of her life and all she asked for was a few good swimmers. The opportunity may not come again any time soon.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Did she lie to him about whether she was using birth control? Or did he not take the initiative on that issue?

Either way, agreed, incredibly sad for the kid.

He believed she was still taking the pill.

She had decided not to.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
He believed she was still taking the pill.

She had decided not to.

That sounds like a soap opera plot.
Still, if he asked for 3 months to decide, he should have taken some initiative in that department knowing what she wanted.
Of course this type of behavior makes all women look like lying conniving bitches.